(no subject)
i dont know how to say this without sounding like the biggest liar or phonie in the world, but i think this time i will be gone, gone for good, i cant take this anymore i thought that if i stayed i had a future i thought i was doing someone a favor, and now here it is, nothing no future no happiness at least not a real one, is a made up one. all this things happen that are beyond my reach my control
i realized today as i had a conversation with a stranger on the bus that i am so exeptionaly good at pretending, i completly faked who i was to this person, i was so happy and optimistic i had to shake my head a little afterwards to snap out of it.
i bet this person walked home or whatever destination thinking how Donna was so nice and how she had liked her shoes, she was probably thinkikng she should wear them more often and maybe then someone else will complement her in order to make her feel good and try to end a simple yet repulsing conversation.
when i got home i acted like a norma day had happened, i told her 4rth period sucked and soon after told her i wanted out of school, i seriously think school is not for me theres no joke to it just that.
we had a kind of strange conversation where she suggested me going to mexico, she said she realized how much more happy i am over there, when we were over there she said she realized that i realized i belonged, there in that place that sometimes smells like trash even outdoors, that smelly smoggy, dirty , yet the most beatiful place i have ever lived in is where i am at my best, because im not trying to fit in i just do.
that is my home i had it to run from and now i have it to return to, in a sense thats the only way i would describe a home.
i realized today as i had a conversation with a stranger on the bus that i am so exeptionaly good at pretending, i completly faked who i was to this person, i was so happy and optimistic i had to shake my head a little afterwards to snap out of it.
i bet this person walked home or whatever destination thinking how Donna was so nice and how she had liked her shoes, she was probably thinkikng she should wear them more often and maybe then someone else will complement her in order to make her feel good and try to end a simple yet repulsing conversation.
when i got home i acted like a norma day had happened, i told her 4rth period sucked and soon after told her i wanted out of school, i seriously think school is not for me theres no joke to it just that.
we had a kind of strange conversation where she suggested me going to mexico, she said she realized how much more happy i am over there, when we were over there she said she realized that i realized i belonged, there in that place that sometimes smells like trash even outdoors, that smelly smoggy, dirty , yet the most beatiful place i have ever lived in is where i am at my best, because im not trying to fit in i just do.
that is my home i had it to run from and now i have it to return to, in a sense thats the only way i would describe a home.