i want him to hug me
she says "so what.. are you not talking to me or something?"
and i look at her like.. ~blank~
and she responds "that's the most childish thing i've ever seen amanda."
i don't want to measure my life by what other people think of me. i don't want to think low of myself because other people do. i want to overcome. i want to be an overcomer. i want to believe in myself. i want to dream. i want to achieve great things. i want to do good in school. i want to graduate with my head held high. i want to go to the college of my choice.. and i don't want to settle for anything less because that one was the only one that wanted me. i want to choose my major. i want to graduate. i want to live in a nice house with nice things. i want to have a job that i enjoy. i want to raise children and teach them how to be good people. i want to let them listen to patsy cline and bob dylan and songs like "i love you for sentimental reasons" and i want them to be happy. i want to teach them how to dance in the living room. i want to show them what life is about. i don't want to make them cry. and i want them to want to be good too. and maybe they will be. maybe they'll enjoy the sunrise and listen to the birds and want to be good too.
maybe i'll be something.
maybe i'll get out of this house.
nothing is working right.