... and to make a long story short, i quit taxidermy school and became a talent manager
yesterday i ran into one of my co-workers while out at lunch, and he said, "oh, buying last minute gifts for your staff? i know how that goes!" and i said, "aaaah, do i really have to buy them something?" and he made the "i feel sorry for you" face.
(ugh. i didn't want to not get them anything on purpose, i just honestly never thought about it, because i am not a get-your-coworkers-presents person. and that was fine until i was the boss, and then once it was pointed out to me, i was like, god, i'm such an asshole, how come i didn't start thinking two weeks ago about what i could get them as a holiday times acknowledgment of the fact that, in the 10th grade groupwork project of life, i play the role of the nerdy kid who says, "okay, we really need to get this done, guys," and they listen to me and we do work that does nice stuff for homeless people yay!)
so i made them cookies. except i experimented with putting marshmallows and caramelized walnuts in chocolate chip cookies (i thought they'd be like rocky road cookies!) and the melted marshmallows made the cookies come out all flat and weird. so now i'm the terrible boss who wasn't going to get her staff anything and then i got them deformed-looking cookies. christ.
if you've ever read macdonald hall goes hollywood, remember the part where bruno puts off packing for the die in the woods camping trip until the morning they leave and then when he opens his luggage on the first morning of the trip, he realizes that he packed bermuda shorts, a suit, two neckties and a basketball jersey? whenever i frantically throw dirty clothes into a suitcase for a cross-country trip to my parents' house the night before i'm supposed to fly out, i'm always convinced that i will get there and realize i've packed bruno walton's suitcase.
but, hey, on the bright side, allah is apparently going to bless us with a snowless day tomorrow, so i'm not going to have to maim twenty-seven or twenty-eight people at the airport. i say that now, of course, and now i'll still be stuck at logan on three kings day.
(ugh. i didn't want to not get them anything on purpose, i just honestly never thought about it, because i am not a get-your-coworkers-presents person. and that was fine until i was the boss, and then once it was pointed out to me, i was like, god, i'm such an asshole, how come i didn't start thinking two weeks ago about what i could get them as a holiday times acknowledgment of the fact that, in the 10th grade groupwork project of life, i play the role of the nerdy kid who says, "okay, we really need to get this done, guys," and they listen to me and we do work that does nice stuff for homeless people yay!)
so i made them cookies. except i experimented with putting marshmallows and caramelized walnuts in chocolate chip cookies (i thought they'd be like rocky road cookies!) and the melted marshmallows made the cookies come out all flat and weird. so now i'm the terrible boss who wasn't going to get her staff anything and then i got them deformed-looking cookies. christ.
if you've ever read macdonald hall goes hollywood, remember the part where bruno puts off packing for the die in the woods camping trip until the morning they leave and then when he opens his luggage on the first morning of the trip, he realizes that he packed bermuda shorts, a suit, two neckties and a basketball jersey? whenever i frantically throw dirty clothes into a suitcase for a cross-country trip to my parents' house the night before i'm supposed to fly out, i'm always convinced that i will get there and realize i've packed bruno walton's suitcase.
but, hey, on the bright side, allah is apparently going to bless us with a snowless day tomorrow, so i'm not going to have to maim twenty-seven or twenty-eight people at the airport. i say that now, of course, and now i'll still be stuck at logan on three kings day.