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Uh, Mary Sue madness XDXDXD ... for those who don't know, this would be set in the Naruto-fandom XD Consider this the opportunity you'll ever get to witness the madness that is Mary Sue. Or me really, and my amazing ability to start fics and never finish them XDXDXD
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Hyuuga Hiashi was upset. He may have looked no different than usual with one critical difference: his temper manifested itself in the form of darkening of pupils, which would’ve ordinarily not been such a big deal had his eyes not been white. It was a huge tell. It also made children run away, and him look scarier for different reasons. Unfortunately for him, no one ever had the guts to mention this to him.
He sensed the arrival of his nephew, who cleared his throat politely. “You seem angry, Uncle.”
Hiashi’s lips tightened. He wondered what gave it away. “I’m far from angry. Just a bit disturbed perhaps. Did she send you here?”
“No, Aiko-san did not.”
There was the faintest hint of colour across Neji’s pale cheeks as he said that. Hiashi remembered the chaos she had caused when she had insisted that the younger Hyuuga address her by her first name. Such things were unheard of, especially for Branch members who were taught at a young age to show respect to all in positions of power, which she somehow was. Neji had barely even fought back. All the chit had to do was pout, and it had been game over for the young lad. A disgrace, Hiashi had thought with an unclassy snort.
“But I thought the news would be troubling for you.”
He chose not to respond Neji’s words. Why would it be troubling that his heir had eloped with the mutt? It wasn’t because the Inuzukas were mere peasants even though their name had plenty of history and honour. It wasn’t because his Hinata was far too good for the likes of Kiba. It wasn’t even because Hinata had chosen to disobey him and get married without his permission.
“She did warn you,” his nephew told him.
Hiashi tensed up immediately, blood rising hotly, and he fought hard to quell it. It was unbecoming of Hyuugas to be hot-tempered, and he never pegged himself as one with anything but stoicness until she upset everything. “She set me up,” he finally retorted, instantly regretting his words for they made him sound positively juvenile, which he wasn’t.
Neji’s face was absolutely deadpan. “Aiko-san put up posters all over Konoha saying that Kiba-san and Hinata-sama would elope.”
His nails dug deeply into his palms. Taking in a deep breath, he replied as evenly as he could, “It seemed too obvious.”
As if Hiashi hadn’t said a word, Neji continued, “She even gave you the date and time.”
He tightened his lips even further. “She is devious.”
Hiashi swore his nephew almost smiled. “Aiko-san is nothing, if not, honest. She does not lie.”
“Except when it suits her needs.”
If that was amusement he saw in Neji’s eyes, Hiashi was going to have to Hakke Hyakunijuuhachishou the younger man’s ass.
“You seem less upset by Hinata-sama’s elopement than Aiko-san’s perceived deception.”
Hiashi glared at Neji. “When did you start talking so much?”
There was that almost-grin again. “Aiko-san encourages it.”
“You seem to do everything she says.”
Inclining his head, Neji responded, “She is my master.”
There were many reasons to be upset at the Ichimuras and the madness they’d wrought upon the Leaf and Sand villages. Mai had been just as hot-tempered as her future-Hokage boyfriend, and just as destructive. She had stormed in, demanding change, and not hesitating to raise her fists if necessary, and while change had been slow, she’d won over most of the villagers eventually. Mai had defended Konoha as fiercely as she had criticizing its policies and problems.
If Mai had turned Konoha upside down, she had dropkicked Suna and sent it orbiting around the world - with smiles and sparkles and kitties and all things nauseating. Bad enough that she had the would-be Kazekage wrapped around her finger, along with the rest of the villagers, who for some unknown reason adored her (despite the moat that was built and later filled in), she had had the audacity to take Neji with her - the one Hyuuga that had shown such promise and talent that even Hiashi was willing to bend the strict rules of the House for. He’d known Neji was utterly love struck, and worse of all, perfectly content with his one-sided love, which, in all fairness, was better than the rumours of his pretty-boy nephew being unorthodox when it came to dating.
With one village decimated down, she had come skipping along (with rainbows and hearts in the background no less) into Konoha and wreaked further destruction. The village Elders adored her (they were thinking of erecting a monument of her to go along with the four Hokages’ heads along the mountains). As if that weren’t enough, she’d had two additional surrogate fathers to go with her dozens of older brothers and her suitors (the ones who hadn’t fallen for Mai), none of whom were brave enough to face them or her fearsome fiancé.
It seemed as if every older man in the village either belonged to Mai or her.
“Uncle, you seem really upset now.”
“I am not.”
Why, oh why did he sound like a petulant child? It had nothing to do with the fact that she hadn’t told him a thing about her engagement or that she’d adopted two entirely unsuitable men for her surrogate fathers (to be overseen by that Uchiha heir). Or that she had stolen his nephew. Or told him about his daughter’s eloping and thus one upped him. Or didn’t include him in the wedding festivities.
Hiashi was practically scowling when Mai arrived. “Neji-san!!”
Immediately, the younger Hyuuga stiffened. “Did something happen to Aiko-san?”
Crossing her arms, Mai grumbled, “Said something about breaking a… argh. I wish he would stop doing that.”
Neji had disappeared as soon as he’d heard the words “breaking”.
“Tell your nephew to stop that, Hiashi-sama. And oh hi!” she said with a wave.
Customs and good manners were dead, Hiashi thought dourly. “Mai-san,” he replied with the barest of acknowledgement.
“I’m sorry for what neechan did.” She frowned. “You know how she is so… tricky.”
Finally, someone who understood, he thought, which was why he even surprised himself with what he said next. “She was being truthful.”
Mai looked at him quizzically. “Yeah, but she’s so good at her… neechan ways. She’s sneaky is what.”
She had a way of getting under one’s skin with her wide eyes and cuteness. It made Hiashi want to gag - if he were prone to doing such things.
“Why are you here, Mai-san?”
“Oh! I wanted to remind you about the meeting later on tonight. All of the Village Elders are attending.”
“You could’ve sent a messenger.”
She scowled then. “That baba mentioned something about it being good for PR. Now who in their right mind would get ME to be public relations for Konoha?!”
Hiashi wasn’t the slightest bit amused that Mai had picked up Naruto’s moniker for the Godaime.
“It gives you opportunity to visit other villages.”
“Like Sand huh? SNEAKY,” Mai said with a gleam in her eyes before finding Hanabi latched onto her leg. “Hanabi-chan!!”
“Mai-san!!!”
Hiashi nearly growled. His younger daughter had developed hero worship for Mai. Stars were practically shining from Hanabi’s pale eyes.
“Hanabi. This sort of behaviour will not do. Greet Mai-san properly.”
Hanabi pouted, an action he was positive she had learned from her. “But Aiko-chan does that to Itachi-san and Jiraiya-sama and Kakashi-sama…”
“Enough. You will head off to practice right now.”
The young girl had enough sense to apologize. “Forgive me, otou-sama.”
… even if she was still stuck onto Mai’s leg. “Come on, pipsqueak. I’ll take you over to Kakashi-sensei.”
Before leaving, Mai paused. “I’m sure neechan had her reasons.”
With the courtyard completely empty, Hiashi nearly pulled some facial muscles when he finally gave in to his urge to scowl. Damn that girl. She was almost as annoying as her. Mai’s abilities to tap into people’s minds were unprecedented. Even those with great mental shields had difficulty containing their thoughts around her. He supposed there could be worse people for Hanabi to admire than the younger Ichimura sibling.
“Like me?” Aiko asked, popping up right by his side.
It startled him so much that he nearly fell off the bench.
“Hiashi-sama was scowling. Are you mad at Aiko?”
She was looking at him with those wide gold eyes of hers. He clenched his jaw and looked somewhere behind her head. “I do not give in to such emotions.”
“You should smile.” Without warning, she was upon him, giving him little opportunity to escape as she clapped her hands over his cheeks and tugged at his lips. “SMIIIIIIIILLLLLEEE…”
He struggled as he felt the muscles in his face protesting at their use. “Let go.”
“Not till you smile! Hiashi-sama is always so sad. You pretend to be mean but you’re not.”
The chit thought he was mean? Completely caught off-guard, it enabled her to force a smile upon her before patting his cheeks, taking a step back, and grinning at him. “See?”
His pale eyes immediately swept over her form. She was just as tiny as ever, clad in some crazy outfit that he supposed was part Sand, part her own concoction with the layers of brightly, attention-grabbing coloured cloth wrapped around her. Even the fact that ninjas were never supposed to be seen didn’t seem to stop her from being one of the top jounin.
Popping over by his side again, she clutched onto his arm. Knowing from previous experience that trying to shake her off would only encourage her (into thinking it was a game, or even worse, he was an amusement ride of some sort), Hiashi stood there. “What do you want?”
“I came to see you.”
“You saw me.”
She pouted.
He looked away.
“Are you upset cos’ Aiko didn’t tell you about Hinata-chan’s eloping plans?”
Hiashi’s eye twitched. “I saw the posters.”
“Did you like them?! I put lots of bright colours and sparkly things to make sure you saw them!” she chirped.
She’d also ordered a parade, along with elephants and a really bad marching band in case he missed it, but Hiashi wasn’t going to bring that up. Further conversation with her was ill-advised at this point. Besides, he was still annoyed.
“You know Hinata-chan didn’t want to do it. She wanted to make you happy, but I thought that since you’re her Papa that you would be happy cos’ she was happy.”
Hiashi had already told himself one thing a long time ago - when Hinata had first started dating that boy. At least he wasn’t Uzumaki Naruto.
“And at least he’s not Naruto,” she said with a grin.
He wasn’t amused. It was just an itch on both sides of his mouth.
“Come oooooon. Don’t be mad at Aiko.”
Hiashi continued staring at the walls of the courtyard.
“Do you hate Aiko?” she asked.
He could almost hear the tears starting to fall. Her trademark was well-known by now.
“Yes.”
Her lips would be wobbling by now, which was why she surprised him when she said, “Then you don’t want to give Aiko away at her wedding?”
Hiashi tried hard not to. He really did. But his jaw fell anyway. “What?”
“I want you, Jiji, and Itachi-sama to give me away. Kaka-chin said he was going to perform the wedding ceremony.”
When he finally found his voice, he asked, “Is that even legal?”
“Hmm, I don’t know. Neji! Is that legal?”
He’d utterly forgotten that his nephew, her bodyguard, was always within attacking distance of her, and thus witnessed his disgrace.
“I’m not sure, Aiko-san.”
There was a frown on her face. “I wanna get married. I don’t want a fake wedding. I want to be Mrs. Gaara.”
“You want me to give you away at your wedding,” Hiashi repeated dumbfounded.
“Of course! I wanted to tell you all about it but the communicator broke down, and I had to fix it. Then all the puppies and kitties got loose, and Gaara was sick so I had to make him soup, except he got more sick and then…”
“All right.”
The girl practically jumped on him to hug him. They fell over, though he was careful to make sure she didn’t wind up getting hurt, and all she did was laugh.
“You make too much noise,” Hiashi told her gruffly.
“Neji says I’m a better ninja now, right, Neji?”
“Yes, Aiko-san” was the response from somewhere.
Slowly lifting her up, he placed her on the bench before standing up and dusting himself off.
“I’m sorry for not telling you earlier, Hiashi-sama.”
Hiashi was sure this had never happened to him in his life, but he was dangerously close to turning into a puddle of goo.
“I told you I wasn’t mad.”
“I’m sorry anyway. Forgive me?” she asked, all sparkles and cuteness.
“Nothing to forgive.”
He wasn’t melting.
Aiko beamed at him. “You’re such a nice man.”
Good thing no one was around to hear this, except for Neji, who he would have to silence by threatening to burn the younger man’s secret photo of Aiko.
Then, she poleaxed him by kissing him on the cheek.
“And you’re coming to my bachelorette party right?”
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Hyuuga Hiashi was upset. He may have looked no different than usual with one critical difference: his temper manifested itself in the form of darkening of pupils, which would’ve ordinarily not been such a big deal had his eyes not been white. It was a huge tell. It also made children run away, and him look scarier for different reasons. Unfortunately for him, no one ever had the guts to mention this to him.
He sensed the arrival of his nephew, who cleared his throat politely. “You seem angry, Uncle.”
Hiashi’s lips tightened. He wondered what gave it away. “I’m far from angry. Just a bit disturbed perhaps. Did she send you here?”
“No, Aiko-san did not.”
There was the faintest hint of colour across Neji’s pale cheeks as he said that. Hiashi remembered the chaos she had caused when she had insisted that the younger Hyuuga address her by her first name. Such things were unheard of, especially for Branch members who were taught at a young age to show respect to all in positions of power, which she somehow was. Neji had barely even fought back. All the chit had to do was pout, and it had been game over for the young lad. A disgrace, Hiashi had thought with an unclassy snort.
“But I thought the news would be troubling for you.”
He chose not to respond Neji’s words. Why would it be troubling that his heir had eloped with the mutt? It wasn’t because the Inuzukas were mere peasants even though their name had plenty of history and honour. It wasn’t because his Hinata was far too good for the likes of Kiba. It wasn’t even because Hinata had chosen to disobey him and get married without his permission.
“She did warn you,” his nephew told him.
Hiashi tensed up immediately, blood rising hotly, and he fought hard to quell it. It was unbecoming of Hyuugas to be hot-tempered, and he never pegged himself as one with anything but stoicness until she upset everything. “She set me up,” he finally retorted, instantly regretting his words for they made him sound positively juvenile, which he wasn’t.
Neji’s face was absolutely deadpan. “Aiko-san put up posters all over Konoha saying that Kiba-san and Hinata-sama would elope.”
His nails dug deeply into his palms. Taking in a deep breath, he replied as evenly as he could, “It seemed too obvious.”
As if Hiashi hadn’t said a word, Neji continued, “She even gave you the date and time.”
He tightened his lips even further. “She is devious.”
Hiashi swore his nephew almost smiled. “Aiko-san is nothing, if not, honest. She does not lie.”
“Except when it suits her needs.”
If that was amusement he saw in Neji’s eyes, Hiashi was going to have to Hakke Hyakunijuuhachishou the younger man’s ass.
“You seem less upset by Hinata-sama’s elopement than Aiko-san’s perceived deception.”
Hiashi glared at Neji. “When did you start talking so much?”
There was that almost-grin again. “Aiko-san encourages it.”
“You seem to do everything she says.”
Inclining his head, Neji responded, “She is my master.”
There were many reasons to be upset at the Ichimuras and the madness they’d wrought upon the Leaf and Sand villages. Mai had been just as hot-tempered as her future-Hokage boyfriend, and just as destructive. She had stormed in, demanding change, and not hesitating to raise her fists if necessary, and while change had been slow, she’d won over most of the villagers eventually. Mai had defended Konoha as fiercely as she had criticizing its policies and problems.
If Mai had turned Konoha upside down, she had dropkicked Suna and sent it orbiting around the world - with smiles and sparkles and kitties and all things nauseating. Bad enough that she had the would-be Kazekage wrapped around her finger, along with the rest of the villagers, who for some unknown reason adored her (despite the moat that was built and later filled in), she had had the audacity to take Neji with her - the one Hyuuga that had shown such promise and talent that even Hiashi was willing to bend the strict rules of the House for. He’d known Neji was utterly love struck, and worse of all, perfectly content with his one-sided love, which, in all fairness, was better than the rumours of his pretty-boy nephew being unorthodox when it came to dating.
With one village decimated down, she had come skipping along (with rainbows and hearts in the background no less) into Konoha and wreaked further destruction. The village Elders adored her (they were thinking of erecting a monument of her to go along with the four Hokages’ heads along the mountains). As if that weren’t enough, she’d had two additional surrogate fathers to go with her dozens of older brothers and her suitors (the ones who hadn’t fallen for Mai), none of whom were brave enough to face them or her fearsome fiancé.
It seemed as if every older man in the village either belonged to Mai or her.
“Uncle, you seem really upset now.”
“I am not.”
Why, oh why did he sound like a petulant child? It had nothing to do with the fact that she hadn’t told him a thing about her engagement or that she’d adopted two entirely unsuitable men for her surrogate fathers (to be overseen by that Uchiha heir). Or that she had stolen his nephew. Or told him about his daughter’s eloping and thus one upped him. Or didn’t include him in the wedding festivities.
Hiashi was practically scowling when Mai arrived. “Neji-san!!”
Immediately, the younger Hyuuga stiffened. “Did something happen to Aiko-san?”
Crossing her arms, Mai grumbled, “Said something about breaking a… argh. I wish he would stop doing that.”
Neji had disappeared as soon as he’d heard the words “breaking”.
“Tell your nephew to stop that, Hiashi-sama. And oh hi!” she said with a wave.
Customs and good manners were dead, Hiashi thought dourly. “Mai-san,” he replied with the barest of acknowledgement.
“I’m sorry for what neechan did.” She frowned. “You know how she is so… tricky.”
Finally, someone who understood, he thought, which was why he even surprised himself with what he said next. “She was being truthful.”
Mai looked at him quizzically. “Yeah, but she’s so good at her… neechan ways. She’s sneaky is what.”
She had a way of getting under one’s skin with her wide eyes and cuteness. It made Hiashi want to gag - if he were prone to doing such things.
“Why are you here, Mai-san?”
“Oh! I wanted to remind you about the meeting later on tonight. All of the Village Elders are attending.”
“You could’ve sent a messenger.”
She scowled then. “That baba mentioned something about it being good for PR. Now who in their right mind would get ME to be public relations for Konoha?!”
Hiashi wasn’t the slightest bit amused that Mai had picked up Naruto’s moniker for the Godaime.
“It gives you opportunity to visit other villages.”
“Like Sand huh? SNEAKY,” Mai said with a gleam in her eyes before finding Hanabi latched onto her leg. “Hanabi-chan!!”
“Mai-san!!!”
Hiashi nearly growled. His younger daughter had developed hero worship for Mai. Stars were practically shining from Hanabi’s pale eyes.
“Hanabi. This sort of behaviour will not do. Greet Mai-san properly.”
Hanabi pouted, an action he was positive she had learned from her. “But Aiko-chan does that to Itachi-san and Jiraiya-sama and Kakashi-sama…”
“Enough. You will head off to practice right now.”
The young girl had enough sense to apologize. “Forgive me, otou-sama.”
… even if she was still stuck onto Mai’s leg. “Come on, pipsqueak. I’ll take you over to Kakashi-sensei.”
Before leaving, Mai paused. “I’m sure neechan had her reasons.”
With the courtyard completely empty, Hiashi nearly pulled some facial muscles when he finally gave in to his urge to scowl. Damn that girl. She was almost as annoying as her. Mai’s abilities to tap into people’s minds were unprecedented. Even those with great mental shields had difficulty containing their thoughts around her. He supposed there could be worse people for Hanabi to admire than the younger Ichimura sibling.
“Like me?” Aiko asked, popping up right by his side.
It startled him so much that he nearly fell off the bench.
“Hiashi-sama was scowling. Are you mad at Aiko?”
She was looking at him with those wide gold eyes of hers. He clenched his jaw and looked somewhere behind her head. “I do not give in to such emotions.”
“You should smile.” Without warning, she was upon him, giving him little opportunity to escape as she clapped her hands over his cheeks and tugged at his lips. “SMIIIIIIIILLLLLEEE…”
He struggled as he felt the muscles in his face protesting at their use. “Let go.”
“Not till you smile! Hiashi-sama is always so sad. You pretend to be mean but you’re not.”
The chit thought he was mean? Completely caught off-guard, it enabled her to force a smile upon her before patting his cheeks, taking a step back, and grinning at him. “See?”
His pale eyes immediately swept over her form. She was just as tiny as ever, clad in some crazy outfit that he supposed was part Sand, part her own concoction with the layers of brightly, attention-grabbing coloured cloth wrapped around her. Even the fact that ninjas were never supposed to be seen didn’t seem to stop her from being one of the top jounin.
Popping over by his side again, she clutched onto his arm. Knowing from previous experience that trying to shake her off would only encourage her (into thinking it was a game, or even worse, he was an amusement ride of some sort), Hiashi stood there. “What do you want?”
“I came to see you.”
“You saw me.”
She pouted.
He looked away.
“Are you upset cos’ Aiko didn’t tell you about Hinata-chan’s eloping plans?”
Hiashi’s eye twitched. “I saw the posters.”
“Did you like them?! I put lots of bright colours and sparkly things to make sure you saw them!” she chirped.
She’d also ordered a parade, along with elephants and a really bad marching band in case he missed it, but Hiashi wasn’t going to bring that up. Further conversation with her was ill-advised at this point. Besides, he was still annoyed.
“You know Hinata-chan didn’t want to do it. She wanted to make you happy, but I thought that since you’re her Papa that you would be happy cos’ she was happy.”
Hiashi had already told himself one thing a long time ago - when Hinata had first started dating that boy. At least he wasn’t Uzumaki Naruto.
“And at least he’s not Naruto,” she said with a grin.
He wasn’t amused. It was just an itch on both sides of his mouth.
“Come oooooon. Don’t be mad at Aiko.”
Hiashi continued staring at the walls of the courtyard.
“Do you hate Aiko?” she asked.
He could almost hear the tears starting to fall. Her trademark was well-known by now.
“Yes.”
Her lips would be wobbling by now, which was why she surprised him when she said, “Then you don’t want to give Aiko away at her wedding?”
Hiashi tried hard not to. He really did. But his jaw fell anyway. “What?”
“I want you, Jiji, and Itachi-sama to give me away. Kaka-chin said he was going to perform the wedding ceremony.”
When he finally found his voice, he asked, “Is that even legal?”
“Hmm, I don’t know. Neji! Is that legal?”
He’d utterly forgotten that his nephew, her bodyguard, was always within attacking distance of her, and thus witnessed his disgrace.
“I’m not sure, Aiko-san.”
There was a frown on her face. “I wanna get married. I don’t want a fake wedding. I want to be Mrs. Gaara.”
“You want me to give you away at your wedding,” Hiashi repeated dumbfounded.
“Of course! I wanted to tell you all about it but the communicator broke down, and I had to fix it. Then all the puppies and kitties got loose, and Gaara was sick so I had to make him soup, except he got more sick and then…”
“All right.”
The girl practically jumped on him to hug him. They fell over, though he was careful to make sure she didn’t wind up getting hurt, and all she did was laugh.
“You make too much noise,” Hiashi told her gruffly.
“Neji says I’m a better ninja now, right, Neji?”
“Yes, Aiko-san” was the response from somewhere.
Slowly lifting her up, he placed her on the bench before standing up and dusting himself off.
“I’m sorry for not telling you earlier, Hiashi-sama.”
Hiashi was sure this had never happened to him in his life, but he was dangerously close to turning into a puddle of goo.
“I told you I wasn’t mad.”
“I’m sorry anyway. Forgive me?” she asked, all sparkles and cuteness.
“Nothing to forgive.”
He wasn’t melting.
Aiko beamed at him. “You’re such a nice man.”
Good thing no one was around to hear this, except for Neji, who he would have to silence by threatening to burn the younger man’s secret photo of Aiko.
Then, she poleaxed him by kissing him on the cheek.
“And you’re coming to my bachelorette party right?”