Good news, bad weather
In case anyone was writhing in suspense to know how yesterday's doctor's appointment went...
It went pretty okay.
Hormone panel came back as all normals for testosterone, estrogen, androgens, thyroid, etc. While this is good, this also makes me wonder what's going on. If all my hormones are good, why am I unable to lose weight when I'm doing everything humanly possible - including medication, reduction of carbs/calories, and exercise.
The doctor seemed super pleased with the numbers I presented her that I've been recording daily and said that there was only one fasting glucose she wasn't happy with (I got a 115 one morning for no good reason) - but other than that, she thought my numbers were wonderful. She wants me just to take my fasting sugars each morning.
I don't think they are that wonderful, though. I think I should be aiming for better and getting better results given my diet/exercise regimen. I'm not aiming to be a really well controlled pre-diabetic. I'm aiming to not be pre-diabetic at all.
Their scale said I had lost twenty pounds, but I can say right now I didn't lose no twenty pounds. First, her nurse messed up the original measurement (she wrote 254 instead of 245 on the chart) and had me step on the scale wearing soaking wet shoes and pants (and I mean, they were squishing and dripping they were so wet). So, that was probably an extra few pounds of external water weight. Anyone who's had to move wet jeans from a washer to a dryer can testify to this. I'd estimate my weight was probably 240-238.
This time their scale said 235.
Which means I really have not appreciably lost any weight, and my jeans aren't really any loser. So even if I did shed some water weight, it's not weight that's all that helpful to lose in the first place.
Seeing this, I decided that she is not the person to go to for diabetes advice. We made a follow up appointment for May - which I might not keep - but I'm definitely going to see an endocrinologist. Because I really don't think I'm losing the weight the way I should.
On a 1200 calorie diet, I should be seeing results especially since I've been at it for so long.
I feel sort of bad. She's such a nice lady, and she has reasonable goals for me. She says that she just wants me to aim for a weight of 180 and a BMI of 30-32. And while I was kinda "umm, BMI NOT SO GRATE ASKHULLY" in my head, the fact that she wants me at such a reasonable weight, aiming for a maintaining goal of 160 to 180 - at which point I may be able to get off the metformin permanently.
But I need guidance and I need someone who is concerned about more than fertility. Because the doctor sort of forgot me telling her that I don't want kids. And that's bad.
The next step is finding an endocrinologist who is in our network, hopefully one who is fat-friendly. If anyone knows where to find sites that give reliable ratings or comments about doctors, that'd be great. Then take those same measurements to that doc and start discussing things.
But I do feel better that I've gotten this done and that at the very least, I did get some idea of what I'm aiming for.
180 to 160 is the number I might have set for myself. Because when I was in high school (before my health problems started) and I played basketball and could do the stair-step test as fast as anyone (the fat girl got one of the top five scores in that test, BOO YAH) that was my weight. I was a size 16 and I felt good. Then for some reason my body broke down, gained about 60lbs and then shit went bad.
The relief after the appointment was over was really palpable though. I walked home feeling, emotionally, like someone had finally stopped squeezing my chest and I could breathe.
And to apologize to Andrew for being very irrational, emotional, and otherwise frustrating during this whole ordeal, I picked up a little treat for him at the grocery store.
But what's funny? He bought me flowers because he knew how much this was stressing me out. Hells yes I have the best husband ever. And then he said, "how about we make the pizza crust with whole wheat flower instead of white flower" and we had pesto chicken pizza and then watched Lost and it was the best day ever.
And I slept like a baby on sedatives last night, too.
It went pretty okay.
Hormone panel came back as all normals for testosterone, estrogen, androgens, thyroid, etc. While this is good, this also makes me wonder what's going on. If all my hormones are good, why am I unable to lose weight when I'm doing everything humanly possible - including medication, reduction of carbs/calories, and exercise.
The doctor seemed super pleased with the numbers I presented her that I've been recording daily and said that there was only one fasting glucose she wasn't happy with (I got a 115 one morning for no good reason) - but other than that, she thought my numbers were wonderful. She wants me just to take my fasting sugars each morning.
I don't think they are that wonderful, though. I think I should be aiming for better and getting better results given my diet/exercise regimen. I'm not aiming to be a really well controlled pre-diabetic. I'm aiming to not be pre-diabetic at all.
Their scale said I had lost twenty pounds, but I can say right now I didn't lose no twenty pounds. First, her nurse messed up the original measurement (she wrote 254 instead of 245 on the chart) and had me step on the scale wearing soaking wet shoes and pants (and I mean, they were squishing and dripping they were so wet). So, that was probably an extra few pounds of external water weight. Anyone who's had to move wet jeans from a washer to a dryer can testify to this. I'd estimate my weight was probably 240-238.
This time their scale said 235.
Which means I really have not appreciably lost any weight, and my jeans aren't really any loser. So even if I did shed some water weight, it's not weight that's all that helpful to lose in the first place.
Seeing this, I decided that she is not the person to go to for diabetes advice. We made a follow up appointment for May - which I might not keep - but I'm definitely going to see an endocrinologist. Because I really don't think I'm losing the weight the way I should.
On a 1200 calorie diet, I should be seeing results especially since I've been at it for so long.
I feel sort of bad. She's such a nice lady, and she has reasonable goals for me. She says that she just wants me to aim for a weight of 180 and a BMI of 30-32. And while I was kinda "umm, BMI NOT SO GRATE ASKHULLY" in my head, the fact that she wants me at such a reasonable weight, aiming for a maintaining goal of 160 to 180 - at which point I may be able to get off the metformin permanently.
But I need guidance and I need someone who is concerned about more than fertility. Because the doctor sort of forgot me telling her that I don't want kids. And that's bad.
The next step is finding an endocrinologist who is in our network, hopefully one who is fat-friendly. If anyone knows where to find sites that give reliable ratings or comments about doctors, that'd be great. Then take those same measurements to that doc and start discussing things.
But I do feel better that I've gotten this done and that at the very least, I did get some idea of what I'm aiming for.
180 to 160 is the number I might have set for myself. Because when I was in high school (before my health problems started) and I played basketball and could do the stair-step test as fast as anyone (the fat girl got one of the top five scores in that test, BOO YAH) that was my weight. I was a size 16 and I felt good. Then for some reason my body broke down, gained about 60lbs and then shit went bad.
The relief after the appointment was over was really palpable though. I walked home feeling, emotionally, like someone had finally stopped squeezing my chest and I could breathe.
And to apologize to Andrew for being very irrational, emotional, and otherwise frustrating during this whole ordeal, I picked up a little treat for him at the grocery store.
But what's funny? He bought me flowers because he knew how much this was stressing me out. Hells yes I have the best husband ever. And then he said, "how about we make the pizza crust with whole wheat flower instead of white flower" and we had pesto chicken pizza and then watched Lost and it was the best day ever.
And I slept like a baby on sedatives last night, too.