So much for that.
I need an icon for seething rage.
The doctor's office called me while I was on the bus to GET TO SAID DOCTOR'S OFFICE to cancel my appointment because the doctor had a patient in labor or something. They rescheduled me for March 8th for the same time and I have no idea if I actually intend to keep that appointment or not.
So, after wasting the last of my metrocard, I trudged back the way I came and returned home. Though I chose to walk because I needed to work off some serious anger and bad energy. Right now, I kind of want to punch things and people.
And this big huge stressful cloud remains hanging over my head for another two weeks.
Right now, I'm honestly not sure if I'm going to even try going back. I've had it with this, I really have. I've had it with doctors. I can't get any of them to tell me anything, or explain anything. They just tell me to take this or poke that but never explain what it's for or why they're doing it or what it means or what I should be doing.
Why won't ANY OF THESE GODDAMN DOCTORS JUST EXPLAIN THINGS TO ME?
I can't get doctors to tell me do I even really have this or is it just their best guess or what. And I don't really know that I do even have PCOS, because that was just what the doctors told me when I was 16 and stopped menstruating for a year. I don't remember them ever doing any real tests to confirm it.
I'm just so angry and frustrated right now that I can't even think clearly.
The only reasonable voice in my head right now says that I should look into seeing a doctor who can actually handle this and just forget this lady. An endocrinologist, perhaps. Or just a diabetes educator, because my problems are not really gynecological at this point and since I don't intend on having kids ever, I really couldn't care less if my ovaries rotted and fell out.
The only reason I went to her is because Andrew's female coworker recommended her. I wish I'd known in advance that the coworker went to see her for care during pregnancy. So, in essence, all this doctor does is pregnancy and babies. Definitely the wrong person to see. Which I should have known when she asked, "You wanna lose the weight before you get pregnant, don't you?" while examining me.
I'm gonna go curl up on the couch, snuggle with the Orange Cat, put on a bunch of dvd's that make me feel better and not think about this for a while. I'm gonna give my self time to process it and make better decisions. Because right now? I find myself very trigger-y and upset and not in a good mental place.
So, hello DVD's and orange cat, goodbye thinking about medical crap for a while.
ETA: Doctor's office called me back to say that they were rescheduling me AGAIN, for tomorrow at the same time. I am 45% less murderously angry than before.
The doctor's office called me while I was on the bus to GET TO SAID DOCTOR'S OFFICE to cancel my appointment because the doctor had a patient in labor or something. They rescheduled me for March 8th for the same time and I have no idea if I actually intend to keep that appointment or not.
So, after wasting the last of my metrocard, I trudged back the way I came and returned home. Though I chose to walk because I needed to work off some serious anger and bad energy. Right now, I kind of want to punch things and people.
And this big huge stressful cloud remains hanging over my head for another two weeks.
Right now, I'm honestly not sure if I'm going to even try going back. I've had it with this, I really have. I've had it with doctors. I can't get any of them to tell me anything, or explain anything. They just tell me to take this or poke that but never explain what it's for or why they're doing it or what it means or what I should be doing.
Why won't ANY OF THESE GODDAMN DOCTORS JUST EXPLAIN THINGS TO ME?
I can't get doctors to tell me do I even really have this or is it just their best guess or what. And I don't really know that I do even have PCOS, because that was just what the doctors told me when I was 16 and stopped menstruating for a year. I don't remember them ever doing any real tests to confirm it.
I'm just so angry and frustrated right now that I can't even think clearly.
The only reasonable voice in my head right now says that I should look into seeing a doctor who can actually handle this and just forget this lady. An endocrinologist, perhaps. Or just a diabetes educator, because my problems are not really gynecological at this point and since I don't intend on having kids ever, I really couldn't care less if my ovaries rotted and fell out.
The only reason I went to her is because Andrew's female coworker recommended her. I wish I'd known in advance that the coworker went to see her for care during pregnancy. So, in essence, all this doctor does is pregnancy and babies. Definitely the wrong person to see. Which I should have known when she asked, "You wanna lose the weight before you get pregnant, don't you?" while examining me.
I'm gonna go curl up on the couch, snuggle with the Orange Cat, put on a bunch of dvd's that make me feel better and not think about this for a while. I'm gonna give my self time to process it and make better decisions. Because right now? I find myself very trigger-y and upset and not in a good mental place.
So, hello DVD's and orange cat, goodbye thinking about medical crap for a while.
ETA: Doctor's office called me back to say that they were rescheduling me AGAIN, for tomorrow at the same time. I am 45% less murderously angry than before.