Payday, mutha fucka
It's the first of the month. Yay! Today I get paid. Hellz yeah. It always puts a little bit of a strain on my financially when I have to shell out $115 to take an exam. And what's more fun is that I'm about to do it again this month. But luckily, this month is that special month of the year in which three pay-days are included by it, which makes me smile. So I can afford to take the GRE one more time. Most likely on the 21st, if I can swing that date. I'll need to go reserve my spot as soon as I deposit my check today. I'll see if I can do that before work today at 4pm.
I'm very happy about work, recently. I've been maxing out at 30 hours a week every week, if not exceeding that amount due to natural disasters extending my permit. So the next couple paychecks (probably including this one) will be slightly more plump than usual. I cannot begin to stress how good it was for me to quit that barn job while I still had my sanity and my finances in hand. It boiled down to me working my desk job just so I'd have the money to pay for the gas I needed to drive out to the barn job, which only saw it necessary to pay me once every couple of months, which is crazy-bullshit. Never take a job in which they don't ask for your social security number.
So yeah, I gotta work today, 4pm to 6pm. Then again late tonight, I'll be back over at Beaty from 4am until noon, at which time I'll dust myself off and go to Jennings from noon until 4pm. A two hour break, then a short stay at Broward from 6pm to 8pm will round out the "work day" for me. Afterwards, I will go claim new movies to watch at HV before falling into bed for some sleeping. Cuz I'm pretty sure I have to be going to Broward the next night at 4am until 8am, before my 10am to 4pm shift at Yulee. I need to check that to make sure, but the WhenToWork site isn't working right now. Sofia may have broken it.
In other news, Natalie (bless her heart) has issued me an ultimatum. I gotta ask out a girl by Monday or I'm a loser. She's kidding, of course, but I love the sentiment. Hehe. If anything it'll have to wait longer than that because next week, including this weekend, are very thick for me. I've gotta work all weekend long, of course. Then I have to try to meet with Dr. Ray on either Monday or Tuesday so that we can go over my Senior Project progress and get the Monad list-serv up and running. Then on Wednesday, I have to make a five minute informal presentation for which I have to have 5 powerpoint graphics... ...of what, I do not yet know... ...to flash across the screen during my five minute ungraded monkey dance. Then Thursday night I have PhilSoc stuff to take care of. Then Friday, I lather, rinse, and repeat the weekend grind. I'm going to be quite busy busy, and it would be extraordinarily lucky if any of the girls that pass in and out of my thoughts manage to pop up on the radar in the next 10 days. I may just have to be a loser, then (she's kidding).
In my new preperation routine for the GRE, I'm keeping the 300 words I learned before handy. But I'm also going online running searches for GRE word lists. Not lists with definitions already defined in a hand way, mind you. I'm just looking for lists sans definitions. I want to define them all myself later on. I will also grind my axe on the stone of Rhett's GRE book that I have been holding hostage along with his copy of Diamond Age and two episodes of MST3K. Having never taken latin (and lacking all desire to do so ever), I'm at a disadvantage to everyone in latin who has attained a natural feeling for the inherent meanings to all the roots, prefixes, and postfixes that get combined into the most complicated and nasty looking words in the english language. So, for those instances where I don't know the meanings of the words, I can at the very least use my skills to eliminate the ones that are not at all close to the right answer, and then apply the skills I'll hopefully acquire from Rhett's book to swing the odds in my favor a little more, if not narrow them down completely. Heh. I remember I was complaining about all the run-on sentences in the reading comprehension section of Verbal. And there I just went and had a few good ones of my own. Hypocrisy much? As for the math section... ........HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
I suppose I should run into the kitchen really quick and check on my debacle. I got hungry last night, so I decided to hardboil some eggs. I hardboiled them just fine, but they were too hot to eat right away. So I put them all in the freezer to fast cool them down. In my infinite wisdom, I fell asleep shortly afterwards. My first waking thought this morning was "there are a bunch of rock-solid eggs in my freezer." I have since taken the eggs out of the freezer, and put them in a pot of water to sit on the stove at the very lowest setting to thaw them out. They've been doing so for about 15 minutes. They may be almost edible by now... ...nope. They're not rock solid anymore, but I highly doubt that they're thawed out all the way through. Perhaps just a little bit longer.
It's very relieving to know that I have nothing horrible to report from my personal life other than being single. A lot of people have that complaint, and misery loves compay. Hehe. Seriously, though. All the friends I have that are kind enough to spare me drama deserve medals. Sometimes I sit back and think about all the folks who have come and gone just in these past four years. It's crazy. My turn-over rate for friends is about as bad as the employee turn-over rate for some of the more horrible jobs I've had. But that's for the best. I do not believe that forcing oneself to endure misery from friends makes those friendships stronger. I think it steels away from what friendships should be, transforming them into hierarchies of those who are in control and those who are whisped along by the tide. College isn't so different from highschool in a lot of respects. I'm just lucky that it's so much bigger. Now you don't HAVE to put up with the bullshit of others if you don't want to. In situations where reason goes askew and everyone has to be right and uncompromising, splitting paths is necessary.
And breaking ties with friends is something that I have become exceedingly and depressingly good at. That's the fate of most military brats. Transitive relationships, and no homebase to retreat to. Move away and you lose friends. You can either make new ones or not, depending on how long you plan to be where you are now. Kimberly is a lot luckier than I was. When I was growing up, there was no such thing as AIM or LJ or the like. When I lost childhood friends, they were no-kidding lost. That's pretty much why I'm so used to it by now. Whether or not that makes me emotionally autistic isn't something I can afford to think about too hard at this time. If it is so, then I'm afraid that I have no choice at this point in my life but to cling to it, as in the past few months I've had several people and groups of people decide that I'm not worth hanging with anymore. Someday, however, I'll be able to cool my jets and begin the deprogramming so that I no longer have to become a block of ice anymore.
The only things blocks of ice are any good for are living alone, feeling unfulfilled, and contract killing. Sometimes, it's a little disturbing thinking hard about the people who tear-ass in and out of my life because I don't really pity them and I don't really think about revenge as much as I feel superior to them in some fashion. Because in most cases, I'm under the impression that whatever happened had to do with something I understood that they just couldn't or didn't want to see. It was either because they weren't smart enough, or it would have been too hard to confront such things and deal with them. Or because it would've been just too hard and they were too cowardly to take the hard road, even if it was the right one. Or they're just very bad people who don't mind living bad lives. Now THAT line of thought is narcissistic. If it were really the case that most of the people who have come and gone in my life were idiots, cowards, and immoral fuckwads, then I probably would make it my mission in life to wipe out humanity. "Antichrist" wouldn't just be a cute nickname anymore.
Establish World Peace: Kill Everyone
That's why I'm staying optimistic. I know that I've made a lot of mistakes in the past. I've slowly come to realize them over the years, and I regret all of them. So while I'm hoping that those people who were mistaken somehow realize their fuck-up, I'm also kinda hoping that I was wrong too. Because if I was wrong at least 10% of the time (I'd prefer it to be more than that), then I don't have to kill off humanity. Heh. Joke. Seriously, though. I'd rather find out that every other premise I've operated with was a lie than admit that the world really is as depraved at the personal level as I sometimes think it might be.
I'm very happy about work, recently. I've been maxing out at 30 hours a week every week, if not exceeding that amount due to natural disasters extending my permit. So the next couple paychecks (probably including this one) will be slightly more plump than usual. I cannot begin to stress how good it was for me to quit that barn job while I still had my sanity and my finances in hand. It boiled down to me working my desk job just so I'd have the money to pay for the gas I needed to drive out to the barn job, which only saw it necessary to pay me once every couple of months, which is crazy-bullshit. Never take a job in which they don't ask for your social security number.
So yeah, I gotta work today, 4pm to 6pm. Then again late tonight, I'll be back over at Beaty from 4am until noon, at which time I'll dust myself off and go to Jennings from noon until 4pm. A two hour break, then a short stay at Broward from 6pm to 8pm will round out the "work day" for me. Afterwards, I will go claim new movies to watch at HV before falling into bed for some sleeping. Cuz I'm pretty sure I have to be going to Broward the next night at 4am until 8am, before my 10am to 4pm shift at Yulee. I need to check that to make sure, but the WhenToWork site isn't working right now. Sofia may have broken it.
In other news, Natalie (bless her heart) has issued me an ultimatum. I gotta ask out a girl by Monday or I'm a loser. She's kidding, of course, but I love the sentiment. Hehe. If anything it'll have to wait longer than that because next week, including this weekend, are very thick for me. I've gotta work all weekend long, of course. Then I have to try to meet with Dr. Ray on either Monday or Tuesday so that we can go over my Senior Project progress and get the Monad list-serv up and running. Then on Wednesday, I have to make a five minute informal presentation for which I have to have 5 powerpoint graphics... ...of what, I do not yet know... ...to flash across the screen during my five minute ungraded monkey dance. Then Thursday night I have PhilSoc stuff to take care of. Then Friday, I lather, rinse, and repeat the weekend grind. I'm going to be quite busy busy, and it would be extraordinarily lucky if any of the girls that pass in and out of my thoughts manage to pop up on the radar in the next 10 days. I may just have to be a loser, then (she's kidding).
In my new preperation routine for the GRE, I'm keeping the 300 words I learned before handy. But I'm also going online running searches for GRE word lists. Not lists with definitions already defined in a hand way, mind you. I'm just looking for lists sans definitions. I want to define them all myself later on. I will also grind my axe on the stone of Rhett's GRE book that I have been holding hostage along with his copy of Diamond Age and two episodes of MST3K. Having never taken latin (and lacking all desire to do so ever), I'm at a disadvantage to everyone in latin who has attained a natural feeling for the inherent meanings to all the roots, prefixes, and postfixes that get combined into the most complicated and nasty looking words in the english language. So, for those instances where I don't know the meanings of the words, I can at the very least use my skills to eliminate the ones that are not at all close to the right answer, and then apply the skills I'll hopefully acquire from Rhett's book to swing the odds in my favor a little more, if not narrow them down completely. Heh. I remember I was complaining about all the run-on sentences in the reading comprehension section of Verbal. And there I just went and had a few good ones of my own. Hypocrisy much? As for the math section... ........HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
I suppose I should run into the kitchen really quick and check on my debacle. I got hungry last night, so I decided to hardboil some eggs. I hardboiled them just fine, but they were too hot to eat right away. So I put them all in the freezer to fast cool them down. In my infinite wisdom, I fell asleep shortly afterwards. My first waking thought this morning was "there are a bunch of rock-solid eggs in my freezer." I have since taken the eggs out of the freezer, and put them in a pot of water to sit on the stove at the very lowest setting to thaw them out. They've been doing so for about 15 minutes. They may be almost edible by now... ...nope. They're not rock solid anymore, but I highly doubt that they're thawed out all the way through. Perhaps just a little bit longer.
It's very relieving to know that I have nothing horrible to report from my personal life other than being single. A lot of people have that complaint, and misery loves compay. Hehe. Seriously, though. All the friends I have that are kind enough to spare me drama deserve medals. Sometimes I sit back and think about all the folks who have come and gone just in these past four years. It's crazy. My turn-over rate for friends is about as bad as the employee turn-over rate for some of the more horrible jobs I've had. But that's for the best. I do not believe that forcing oneself to endure misery from friends makes those friendships stronger. I think it steels away from what friendships should be, transforming them into hierarchies of those who are in control and those who are whisped along by the tide. College isn't so different from highschool in a lot of respects. I'm just lucky that it's so much bigger. Now you don't HAVE to put up with the bullshit of others if you don't want to. In situations where reason goes askew and everyone has to be right and uncompromising, splitting paths is necessary.
And breaking ties with friends is something that I have become exceedingly and depressingly good at. That's the fate of most military brats. Transitive relationships, and no homebase to retreat to. Move away and you lose friends. You can either make new ones or not, depending on how long you plan to be where you are now. Kimberly is a lot luckier than I was. When I was growing up, there was no such thing as AIM or LJ or the like. When I lost childhood friends, they were no-kidding lost. That's pretty much why I'm so used to it by now. Whether or not that makes me emotionally autistic isn't something I can afford to think about too hard at this time. If it is so, then I'm afraid that I have no choice at this point in my life but to cling to it, as in the past few months I've had several people and groups of people decide that I'm not worth hanging with anymore. Someday, however, I'll be able to cool my jets and begin the deprogramming so that I no longer have to become a block of ice anymore.
The only things blocks of ice are any good for are living alone, feeling unfulfilled, and contract killing. Sometimes, it's a little disturbing thinking hard about the people who tear-ass in and out of my life because I don't really pity them and I don't really think about revenge as much as I feel superior to them in some fashion. Because in most cases, I'm under the impression that whatever happened had to do with something I understood that they just couldn't or didn't want to see. It was either because they weren't smart enough, or it would have been too hard to confront such things and deal with them. Or because it would've been just too hard and they were too cowardly to take the hard road, even if it was the right one. Or they're just very bad people who don't mind living bad lives. Now THAT line of thought is narcissistic. If it were really the case that most of the people who have come and gone in my life were idiots, cowards, and immoral fuckwads, then I probably would make it my mission in life to wipe out humanity. "Antichrist" wouldn't just be a cute nickname anymore.
Establish World Peace: Kill Everyone
That's why I'm staying optimistic. I know that I've made a lot of mistakes in the past. I've slowly come to realize them over the years, and I regret all of them. So while I'm hoping that those people who were mistaken somehow realize their fuck-up, I'm also kinda hoping that I was wrong too. Because if I was wrong at least 10% of the time (I'd prefer it to be more than that), then I don't have to kill off humanity. Heh. Joke. Seriously, though. I'd rather find out that every other premise I've operated with was a lie than admit that the world really is as depraved at the personal level as I sometimes think it might be.