Baby on board, something, something, Burt Ward. This thing writes itself!
I am too depressed by the current state of hockey right now to post something long, so here is something I have learned while planning a baby shower.
And that is the Etsy is even crazier than I ever thought it was. Like, just a cautious foray into it for a search for baby shower favors has left me sort of traumatized. BEHOLD:
That is some terrifying shit going on right there. Nothing says festive baby shower like, "OH MY GOD IS THAT INFANT BEING MOLESTED BY AN ELEPHANT? SOMEONE HELP THAT BABY. (It comes in girl and African American baby designs as well.) Where do you put that in your house? And, I mean, that's not even the weirdest Etsy has to offer. There's a lot of handmade knick-knack kitsch out there you can pay veritable boatloads of money for. I'm making knockoffs with materials I'm getting from Party City, because I can't quite make myself pay the exorbitant prices, even though my laziness and fighting my cheapassedness pretty hard.
Right now I am stuck on activities, because the other person helping to host thinks we need them. I reluctantly concur we won't be able to drink at this one like we did at the bridal shower and the bachelorette, so I suppose we do need something to do besides eat and poke the mom-to-be's belly. But I refuse to do anything that involves:
-Making anyone eat baby food.
-Melting candy bars, putting them in diapers, and then making people guess what they are.
-Most diaper related games, actually.
-Anagrams out of baby related words. (Not because I dislike them. I love anagrams. I would get way too competitive and probably end up screaming "IN YOUR FACE" to one of my friend's elderly Bengali aunts or something, and that is not Good Host Behavior.)
Right now I'm figuring on buying some fabric pens, and either a bunch of blank burp cloths/bibs, or a really simple quilt and letting people draw on them. The quilt would probably be more sentimental; the bibs/cloths would be more useful. Not onesies, never onesies. You just don't use them as much, and then the baby grows out of them.
I bought a giant baby bottle. Maybe I'll fill it with jellybeans and make people guess how many jelly beans are in there. And then I will take it home and eat all the jellybeans myself. This seems like a plan.
I hate hockey right now, and I hate how angry that makes me.
And that is the Etsy is even crazier than I ever thought it was. Like, just a cautious foray into it for a search for baby shower favors has left me sort of traumatized. BEHOLD:
That is some terrifying shit going on right there. Nothing says festive baby shower like, "OH MY GOD IS THAT INFANT BEING MOLESTED BY AN ELEPHANT? SOMEONE HELP THAT BABY. (It comes in girl and African American baby designs as well.) Where do you put that in your house? And, I mean, that's not even the weirdest Etsy has to offer. There's a lot of handmade knick-knack kitsch out there you can pay veritable boatloads of money for. I'm making knockoffs with materials I'm getting from Party City, because I can't quite make myself pay the exorbitant prices, even though my laziness and fighting my cheapassedness pretty hard.
Right now I am stuck on activities, because the other person helping to host thinks we need them. I reluctantly concur we won't be able to drink at this one like we did at the bridal shower and the bachelorette, so I suppose we do need something to do besides eat and poke the mom-to-be's belly. But I refuse to do anything that involves:
-Making anyone eat baby food.
-Melting candy bars, putting them in diapers, and then making people guess what they are.
-Most diaper related games, actually.
-Anagrams out of baby related words. (Not because I dislike them. I love anagrams. I would get way too competitive and probably end up screaming "IN YOUR FACE" to one of my friend's elderly Bengali aunts or something, and that is not Good Host Behavior.)
Right now I'm figuring on buying some fabric pens, and either a bunch of blank burp cloths/bibs, or a really simple quilt and letting people draw on them. The quilt would probably be more sentimental; the bibs/cloths would be more useful. Not onesies, never onesies. You just don't use them as much, and then the baby grows out of them.
I bought a giant baby bottle. Maybe I'll fill it with jellybeans and make people guess how many jelly beans are in there. And then I will take it home and eat all the jellybeans myself. This seems like a plan.
I hate hockey right now, and I hate how angry that makes me.