Seen him knock a man clean out of his corduroy slippers
Today is eramundo's birthday! Huzzah! Lunar continues to be pretty much my shining beacon of Adult Maturity and Competence I Hope To Someday Attain. She is a wonderful hostess, and I was terribly grateful for her presence in Boston, not the least of which was she kept flidgetjerome and twigcollins mostly in check, and did not allow them to parade about with bags of doll eyes and other terrifying things. Also, she was generous enough to give me webspace, which I should really do something with, as I'm not sure my old Geocities site is still even up.
I hope you have a wonderful year, Lunar. You deserve glories untold.
There's a bunch of memes I've collected and half-filled out, but right now I am mostly panicking over the fact we're going to be invaded by Czech relatives in less than a week, in a sort of inverse of my previous experience with wacky Czech hijinks. So, I'm going to dump a bunch of links and save the real journaling for later.
In honor of Lunar, many of these links give some kind of practical advice. Others are just here because I think they're cool.
5 Animals That Can Do Amazing Things... With Their Penises. I think I am contractually obligated to include at least one frightening Cracked article in each link roundup. This one just called to me. It also makes us return to the all too important topic of duck cocks.
So You Need to Disarm A Chimpanzee. A situation everyone must be prepared for.
Checking out of the Overlook: 16 ways to survive a Stephen King story. What's really impressive is that these people have gone through all King's works, and man, that's a lot of horrible, gruesome, and sometimes just downright weird deaths to go through. But they give good advice, particularly--
11. Steer clear of Roland.
AND HOW. Speaking further of Steve...
Stephen King to pay for troops' holiday trip home. Stephen and Tabitha King donated money to ensure that the 150 members of Bravo Company of the 3rd Battalion, 172nd Infantry Unit could come home for the holidays. However, there was a bit of superstition about the amount he was to donate.
Flowchart Helps You Determine What Crap to Eat. An extremely helpful flowchart for figuring out which junk food you should cram in your face-hole, determined by a detailed analysis of how you're feeling and where you are. ("Are you drunk?" "Are you drunk on malt liquor?") This is best accompanied by What Beer Should I Drink? flowchart and What Cereal Should I Eat? flowchart
Pinch My Salt. Nice cooking blog. I've gotten some really good recipes off here.
Vanished Persian army said found in desert. The remains of a mighty Persian army said to have drowned in the sands of the western Egyptian desert 2,500 years ago might have been finally located, solving one of archaeology's biggest outstanding mysteries, according to Italian researchers.
Ancient Amazon civilization laid bare by felled forest . Signs of what could be a previously unknown ancient civilization are emerging from beneath the felled trees of the Amazon. Some 260 giant avenues, ditches and enclosures have been spotted from the air in a region straddling Brazil's border with Bolivia.
Controversial Signs of Mass Cannibalism. At a settlement in what is now southern Germany, the menu turned gruesome 7,000 years ago. Over a period of perhaps a few decades, hundreds of people were butchered and eaten before parts of their bodies were thrown into oval pits, a new study suggests. Cannibalism at the village, now called Herxheim, may have occurred during ceremonies in which people from near and far brought slaves, war prisoners or other dependents for ritual sacrifice, propose anthropologist Bruno Boulestin of the University of Bordeaux 1 in France and his colleagues.
New fossils reveal a world full of crocodiles. New fossils unearthed in what is now the Sahara desert reveal a once-swampy world divided up among a half-dozen species of unusual and perhaps intelligent crocodiles, researchers reported on Thursday.
Also, dude: The more ferocious BoarCroc was also 20 feet long but ran upright and had a jaw built for ramming, with three pairs of knife-like teeth. Like I didn't have enough to be afraid of already.
The 100 Greatest Quotes from The Wire. There's a few others I wouldn't have minded seeing, but overall, awesome. ILU, Omar.
Limited Edition ToFurky and Gravy Jones Soda. It's that time of year again, when Jones Soda puts out some new and horrifying flavor. Not just turkey but tofurky. Godspeed, stomach contents.
Australia gets drunk, wakes up in North Atlantic. "After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, Australia this morning woke up to find itself in the middle of the North Atlantic." An old link, but one that still makes me laugh like hell.
Men and Urinals: An Investigation. A very thorough examination of the urinal sub-culture, including common etiquette and tradition. So much I never knew.
Star Trek cologne. This one in Khaaan scent. However, there is also Tiberius (Okay, I can kinda understand this one), Red Shirt (Less so, this one), and Pon Farr (Yeah, I just... yeah.)
Etiquette Hell. Another old but good one. Sometimes it's just fun to read about other people's etiquette horror stories.
Just Who Is This Guy? And finally, an appropriately seasonal graph to end the round-up.
Also, why hasn't anyone invented a Wookie-shaped cookie jar that does the Chewbacca roar when you open it to take a cookie out? A quick google does not seem to produce such a product. I would buy one of those. I would buy five.
I hope you have a wonderful year, Lunar. You deserve glories untold.
There's a bunch of memes I've collected and half-filled out, but right now I am mostly panicking over the fact we're going to be invaded by Czech relatives in less than a week, in a sort of inverse of my previous experience with wacky Czech hijinks. So, I'm going to dump a bunch of links and save the real journaling for later.
In honor of Lunar, many of these links give some kind of practical advice. Others are just here because I think they're cool.
5 Animals That Can Do Amazing Things... With Their Penises. I think I am contractually obligated to include at least one frightening Cracked article in each link roundup. This one just called to me. It also makes us return to the all too important topic of duck cocks.
So You Need to Disarm A Chimpanzee. A situation everyone must be prepared for.
Checking out of the Overlook: 16 ways to survive a Stephen King story. What's really impressive is that these people have gone through all King's works, and man, that's a lot of horrible, gruesome, and sometimes just downright weird deaths to go through. But they give good advice, particularly--
11. Steer clear of Roland.
AND HOW. Speaking further of Steve...
Stephen King to pay for troops' holiday trip home. Stephen and Tabitha King donated money to ensure that the 150 members of Bravo Company of the 3rd Battalion, 172nd Infantry Unit could come home for the holidays. However, there was a bit of superstition about the amount he was to donate.
Flowchart Helps You Determine What Crap to Eat. An extremely helpful flowchart for figuring out which junk food you should cram in your face-hole, determined by a detailed analysis of how you're feeling and where you are. ("Are you drunk?" "Are you drunk on malt liquor?") This is best accompanied by What Beer Should I Drink? flowchart and What Cereal Should I Eat? flowchart
Pinch My Salt. Nice cooking blog. I've gotten some really good recipes off here.
Vanished Persian army said found in desert. The remains of a mighty Persian army said to have drowned in the sands of the western Egyptian desert 2,500 years ago might have been finally located, solving one of archaeology's biggest outstanding mysteries, according to Italian researchers.
Ancient Amazon civilization laid bare by felled forest . Signs of what could be a previously unknown ancient civilization are emerging from beneath the felled trees of the Amazon. Some 260 giant avenues, ditches and enclosures have been spotted from the air in a region straddling Brazil's border with Bolivia.
Controversial Signs of Mass Cannibalism. At a settlement in what is now southern Germany, the menu turned gruesome 7,000 years ago. Over a period of perhaps a few decades, hundreds of people were butchered and eaten before parts of their bodies were thrown into oval pits, a new study suggests. Cannibalism at the village, now called Herxheim, may have occurred during ceremonies in which people from near and far brought slaves, war prisoners or other dependents for ritual sacrifice, propose anthropologist Bruno Boulestin of the University of Bordeaux 1 in France and his colleagues.
New fossils reveal a world full of crocodiles. New fossils unearthed in what is now the Sahara desert reveal a once-swampy world divided up among a half-dozen species of unusual and perhaps intelligent crocodiles, researchers reported on Thursday.
Also, dude: The more ferocious BoarCroc was also 20 feet long but ran upright and had a jaw built for ramming, with three pairs of knife-like teeth. Like I didn't have enough to be afraid of already.
The 100 Greatest Quotes from The Wire. There's a few others I wouldn't have minded seeing, but overall, awesome. ILU, Omar.
Limited Edition ToFurky and Gravy Jones Soda. It's that time of year again, when Jones Soda puts out some new and horrifying flavor. Not just turkey but tofurky. Godspeed, stomach contents.
Australia gets drunk, wakes up in North Atlantic. "After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, Australia this morning woke up to find itself in the middle of the North Atlantic." An old link, but one that still makes me laugh like hell.
Men and Urinals: An Investigation. A very thorough examination of the urinal sub-culture, including common etiquette and tradition. So much I never knew.
Star Trek cologne. This one in Khaaan scent. However, there is also Tiberius (Okay, I can kinda understand this one), Red Shirt (Less so, this one), and Pon Farr (Yeah, I just... yeah.)
Etiquette Hell. Another old but good one. Sometimes it's just fun to read about other people's etiquette horror stories.
Just Who Is This Guy? And finally, an appropriately seasonal graph to end the round-up.
Also, why hasn't anyone invented a Wookie-shaped cookie jar that does the Chewbacca roar when you open it to take a cookie out? A quick google does not seem to produce such a product. I would buy one of those. I would buy five.