Old People are the cause of all of societies ill's
It's a fact, a proven, substantiated fact. Everytime there is a traffic jam, old person. Everytime your food is taking too long at a restaurant, old person arguing about thier food. Teenage angst, old people (eventually). Yes truly the senior citizen is a strange and elusive creature, and in the event that you are cornered by one there is only one possible defense, another old person. If you can find a way to divert their attention to one another, the odds you will escape without hearing a story beginning with "when i was your age", or "i remember the time". This effect is acheived by both old people simultaniously telling different stories, while constantly trying to talk over one another.
If this doesn't work there is another, albeit slightly more painful, method to avoid sitting through an excruciating recollection of the price of EVERYTHING during the depression. Just keep giving that crazy old fucker glasses of water. Most old people have weak bladders, when they get up to answer nature's call, flee like you're in the french army.
In the event that you're particular old person does not succumb to either of these tactics, you are dealing with what we in the business call, a stage 5 geriatric clinger. These are an especially crafty breed of old folk, usually with an enlarged prostate (explaining why they did not succumb to the water technique). There is one last method to breaking the strangle hold of the elderly, though you will have to suffer through some pain. Sit back and wait for them to fall asleep in the middle of their story. It almost never fails. To expedite the process make sure they have the most comfortable seat, and if night, dim the lights, or lure them into a poorly lit room. In order to decrease the personal agony you will experience, try to have something like a TV or magazine in the room to draw your attention, and just repeat the phrase "uh-huh" intermittantly.
All of this information will be included in the book im writing entitled "Encounters with the elderly: A survival guide."
If this doesn't work there is another, albeit slightly more painful, method to avoid sitting through an excruciating recollection of the price of EVERYTHING during the depression. Just keep giving that crazy old fucker glasses of water. Most old people have weak bladders, when they get up to answer nature's call, flee like you're in the french army.
In the event that you're particular old person does not succumb to either of these tactics, you are dealing with what we in the business call, a stage 5 geriatric clinger. These are an especially crafty breed of old folk, usually with an enlarged prostate (explaining why they did not succumb to the water technique). There is one last method to breaking the strangle hold of the elderly, though you will have to suffer through some pain. Sit back and wait for them to fall asleep in the middle of their story. It almost never fails. To expedite the process make sure they have the most comfortable seat, and if night, dim the lights, or lure them into a poorly lit room. In order to decrease the personal agony you will experience, try to have something like a TV or magazine in the room to draw your attention, and just repeat the phrase "uh-huh" intermittantly.
All of this information will be included in the book im writing entitled "Encounters with the elderly: A survival guide."