[hp fic] Suddenly Out of the Blue (PG, Remus/Neville) for affectedmangoo
Suddenly Out of the Blue
by Thistlerose
Ships: Remus/Neville, background Remus/Sirius, Harry/Luna
Rating: PG
Summary: The world is only as big as one's capacity to love and wonder.
Disclaimer: Not my characters.
Notes: For affectedmangoo, who requested fuzzy Remus/man of my choice. Thanks to cathboblet for the street name. Unbeta'd. Approx. 1600 words. (Damn, these things are getting longer!)
Remus really looked at the young man for the first time. The round face he knew, and the large brown eyes, and the rather bashful smile. 'Not Neville Longbottom,' Remus said. 'You’re right, I didn’t recognize you at first. You’ve…' 'Grown up?' suggested Neville.'>
The Laughing Dog stood at the end of Quizzik Alley in Hogsmeade. The sign over the door featured, appropriately, a grinning black dog of indeterminate pedigree, with a lolling red tongue and surprisingly pale grey eyes. Some claimed it resembled the Grim and shunned the shop; the extremely superstitious refused to set foot in Quizzik Alley.
Remus Lupin, the shop’s owner, only shrugged at such reactions. Anyone so scandalized by the Laughing Dog’s sign that he or she would set enter the shop was unwelcome anyway, he thought.
The Laughing Dog was a bookshop, but as it sold only travel guides, travelogues, and maps, it was hardly competition for Dervish and Bangs. Most of its customers were transient witches and wizards only passing through Hogsmeade on their way to more exciting places, and older Hogwarts students interested in working abroad or in traveling before settling into their vocations. They liked Remus. He was well-traveled and knowledgeable, and pleasant to talk to when drawn from his shell.
As for Remus, he liked owning the bookshop. It was his, thanks to the gold Sirius had left for him, so he was able to make his own schedule and hire people with whom he felt comfortable working, rather than the other way around. He had opened this shop for Sirius, or because of him, at any rate. They had promised each other so many times over the twenty-five years they had known each other that they would run away someday and see every wonderful and exotic place in the world. Sirius died before they could keep their promise, so Remus made it his duty to help every wizard or witch with a similar desire, who came seeking his advice.
One twilight in late August, a young man came to the Laughing Dog. Remus, who was closing the shop for the night, lifted his head and smiled briefly at the newcomer, then turned back to his ledger. The young man paced the shop for a few minutes, then stopped and said, “All right, I know it’s been seven years and I’ve lost a bit of weight, but I can’t believe you don’t remember me.”
Remus lifted his head again and really looked at the young man for the first time. The round face he knew, and the large brown eyes, and the rather bashful smile.
“Not Neville Longbottom,” Remus said, his eyes widening and pleasure suffusing him as it always did when one of his former students came to see him. “You’re right, I didn’t recognize you at first. You’ve…”
“Grown up?” suggested Neville, flushing and smiling more broadly.
He was taller, Remus thought, or perhaps he only seemed that way because he had lost some weight. The long black robes hung well on him, Remus noted, and the grey woolen scarf wound about his neck leant him an air of casual distinction. His smile was as pleasant as ever. It was Alice’s smile. Coupled with Frank’s bearing, which Neville had certainly inherited since the war, and tempered with the young man’s own good nature and experiences, the effect was rather charming.
“I mean, it’s about time, don’t you think?” Neville continued, and Remus realized he had been silent for too long.
“Yes,” he said, closing his ledger, and stepping around the counter to greet his former student - his former comrade-in-arms - properly. He held out his arms and, after a moment of hesitation, Neville filled them. He hadn’t lost that much weight, Remus noted. Bulk had simply become muscle.
“You look well,” he said after pulling back. “You look very well, Neville. But what brings you back to Hogsmeade?” He was genuinely curious. “I thought you were off seeing the world with Harry, Luna, and Ginny?”
Neville scratched the back of his neck and looked embarrassed. “Yeah, well. I was for a while. I love them all.” He flushed. “Harry and Luna were together, and I suppose I was sort of with Ginny, but it wasn’t quite-- Well. We weren’t like Harry and Luna. I do like Ginny. A lot. I love her. But I wasn’t in love with her. And I wasn’t going to fall in love with her. Or with any girl. Or with Harry, either,” he went on hurriedly. “That’s not why I came back. I mean, it was because I didn’t really fit in with the rest of them, not because I was afraid of falling for Harry and - Merlin, I’m talking too much, aren’t I?” he said ruefully, then bit his lip.
“No,” Remus said, smiling warmly, and gripping the younger man’s shoulders. “You’re only saying too much if these are things you don’t want me to know.” Neville still looked abashed, so he added gently, “Believe me, I understand.”
“I know,” said Neville quietly, and looked away.
“Oh.” Remus was taken aback, but only slightly. He was forty-five, and a werewolf; at this point in his life it hardly mattered to him whether or not people knew he preferred sleeping with men. Still, it wasn’t something he advertised anymore. He’d had a few lovers since Sirius, but none of them had stayed for more than two weeks, and he hadn’t been sorry to see them go. He’d had one great love of his life, and that was more than most men were allotted, he had come to realize. He was content with his memories, or so he told himself.
“Yeah,” said Neville. “Well, I knew about you and Sirius.”
“Ah.” Remus did not mind people knowing about Sirius. He hoped Neville did not know about the messes that had followed. Harry knew, but Harry was discreet.
“I was jealous, you know,” said Neville. His eyes were still averted. “Never thought I’d have the courage to say that, but - there. I’ve said it. I’m twenty-five. I can say it. I hope that’s not weird.”
“Not weird,” said Remus with a sigh. “You hardly knew him at his best, but Sirius always had this…spark. People were attracted to that.”
“I know,” said Neville. “I mean - Bollocks, I said it wrong. I was jealous of Sirius, not you. I fancied you. You were my first crush, I reckon. First bloke who made me feel like I wasn’t an incompetent idiot.”
“Neville,” said Remus, touched and more than a little surprised, “I’m twenty years older than you are.”
“I know,” the younger man mumbled.
“And very often I feel twice as old again. I’m a werewolf-“
“I know,” Neville cut in. He lifted his head and smiled again. “I know all that. Doesn’t change anything. Didn’t, even when I first found out.” He lifted his chin, as though daring Remus to challenge him. “Anyway. Didn’t come here to declare my undying love.” He rolled his eyes, but his flush deepened. It was Remus’ turn to lower his eyes.
“What I came to tell you,” said Neville, “aside from ‘hello’, I mean, is that I’m here. Staying, I mean. Not in Hogsmeade. At - at Hogwarts. I’m teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts there this year.”
“Congratulations, Neville,” Remus said, his gaze still on his own thin, weathered hands. “That’s extraordinary. Congratulations.”
“Extraordinary because…I was always such rubbish at everything?”
“No,” said Remus, smiling again. “Extraordinary because…that’s truly wonderful news, and I haven’t received truly wonderful news in a long time. I’m proud of you. Truly.” He looked up.
“I’m proud of me, too,” Neville said. “Mum and Dad would’ve been proud, too, wouldn’t they? I mean, you knew them better than I ever did.”
“Yes,” Remus said sincerely. “They would have been very proud of you. So would Professor Dumbledore, were he still alive.” He did not mention Severus Snape, and was glad when Neville did not either, but began moving toward the door.
“So, I’ll be around, I reckon,” Neville said, his hand on the doorknob. “If you’d like.”
“I would like,” said Remus.
“We might have dinner sometime,” Neville said quickly. The dusty shadows that slanted across the shop hid his face, so Remus could not see his expression. “If you want, I mean. I’ll want advice, of course, but also maybe just to talk…”
“I would like that,” Remus said again.
A gust of evening air blew into the shop with Neville’s exit. It made Remus shiver, and suddenly he felt very alone amid his maps and books. On his maps whole cities - whole countries - were reduced to colored segments no wider than his thumb. Were he drawn in, he would be so small as to be practically invisible. Just a speck of life, not a fixture in any landscape. His books contained entire worlds, but as he only drifted through life touching and taking as little as he could, those worlds belonged to other people.
But one person was alone as he felt, and out of all the other people in the world, had sought him.
Remus went to the wall behind his counter and touched his fingertips to the map that hung there. Years ago Sirius had scribbled in the bottom-right corner, Don’t limit yourself to maps, Moony. They’re only paper.
“Of course,” said Remus, tracing the faded letters tenderly. “I know you still exist in a place that can’t be charted. And someday I’ll find you again. But if I should be distracted along the way…”
Wind blew through Quizzik Alley, rattling the sign of the Laughing Dog. Remus turned and saw through the window that the sky was the color of the deepest parts of the ocean, with a few thin clouds strewn across it like foam. No cartographer ever captured those colors.
Remus gathered his ledger and reached for his coat. If he left now, he might find Neville before the sky was completely black. And after that - who knew?
11/16/04
by Thistlerose
Ships: Remus/Neville, background Remus/Sirius, Harry/Luna
Rating: PG
Summary: The world is only as big as one's capacity to love and wonder.
Disclaimer: Not my characters.
Notes: For affectedmangoo, who requested fuzzy Remus/man of my choice. Thanks to cathboblet for the street name. Unbeta'd. Approx. 1600 words. (Damn, these things are getting longer!)
Remus really looked at the young man for the first time. The round face he knew, and the large brown eyes, and the rather bashful smile. 'Not Neville Longbottom,' Remus said. 'You’re right, I didn’t recognize you at first. You’ve…' 'Grown up?' suggested Neville.'>
The Laughing Dog stood at the end of Quizzik Alley in Hogsmeade. The sign over the door featured, appropriately, a grinning black dog of indeterminate pedigree, with a lolling red tongue and surprisingly pale grey eyes. Some claimed it resembled the Grim and shunned the shop; the extremely superstitious refused to set foot in Quizzik Alley.
Remus Lupin, the shop’s owner, only shrugged at such reactions. Anyone so scandalized by the Laughing Dog’s sign that he or she would set enter the shop was unwelcome anyway, he thought.
The Laughing Dog was a bookshop, but as it sold only travel guides, travelogues, and maps, it was hardly competition for Dervish and Bangs. Most of its customers were transient witches and wizards only passing through Hogsmeade on their way to more exciting places, and older Hogwarts students interested in working abroad or in traveling before settling into their vocations. They liked Remus. He was well-traveled and knowledgeable, and pleasant to talk to when drawn from his shell.
As for Remus, he liked owning the bookshop. It was his, thanks to the gold Sirius had left for him, so he was able to make his own schedule and hire people with whom he felt comfortable working, rather than the other way around. He had opened this shop for Sirius, or because of him, at any rate. They had promised each other so many times over the twenty-five years they had known each other that they would run away someday and see every wonderful and exotic place in the world. Sirius died before they could keep their promise, so Remus made it his duty to help every wizard or witch with a similar desire, who came seeking his advice.
One twilight in late August, a young man came to the Laughing Dog. Remus, who was closing the shop for the night, lifted his head and smiled briefly at the newcomer, then turned back to his ledger. The young man paced the shop for a few minutes, then stopped and said, “All right, I know it’s been seven years and I’ve lost a bit of weight, but I can’t believe you don’t remember me.”
Remus lifted his head again and really looked at the young man for the first time. The round face he knew, and the large brown eyes, and the rather bashful smile.
“Not Neville Longbottom,” Remus said, his eyes widening and pleasure suffusing him as it always did when one of his former students came to see him. “You’re right, I didn’t recognize you at first. You’ve…”
“Grown up?” suggested Neville, flushing and smiling more broadly.
He was taller, Remus thought, or perhaps he only seemed that way because he had lost some weight. The long black robes hung well on him, Remus noted, and the grey woolen scarf wound about his neck leant him an air of casual distinction. His smile was as pleasant as ever. It was Alice’s smile. Coupled with Frank’s bearing, which Neville had certainly inherited since the war, and tempered with the young man’s own good nature and experiences, the effect was rather charming.
“I mean, it’s about time, don’t you think?” Neville continued, and Remus realized he had been silent for too long.
“Yes,” he said, closing his ledger, and stepping around the counter to greet his former student - his former comrade-in-arms - properly. He held out his arms and, after a moment of hesitation, Neville filled them. He hadn’t lost that much weight, Remus noted. Bulk had simply become muscle.
“You look well,” he said after pulling back. “You look very well, Neville. But what brings you back to Hogsmeade?” He was genuinely curious. “I thought you were off seeing the world with Harry, Luna, and Ginny?”
Neville scratched the back of his neck and looked embarrassed. “Yeah, well. I was for a while. I love them all.” He flushed. “Harry and Luna were together, and I suppose I was sort of with Ginny, but it wasn’t quite-- Well. We weren’t like Harry and Luna. I do like Ginny. A lot. I love her. But I wasn’t in love with her. And I wasn’t going to fall in love with her. Or with any girl. Or with Harry, either,” he went on hurriedly. “That’s not why I came back. I mean, it was because I didn’t really fit in with the rest of them, not because I was afraid of falling for Harry and - Merlin, I’m talking too much, aren’t I?” he said ruefully, then bit his lip.
“No,” Remus said, smiling warmly, and gripping the younger man’s shoulders. “You’re only saying too much if these are things you don’t want me to know.” Neville still looked abashed, so he added gently, “Believe me, I understand.”
“I know,” said Neville quietly, and looked away.
“Oh.” Remus was taken aback, but only slightly. He was forty-five, and a werewolf; at this point in his life it hardly mattered to him whether or not people knew he preferred sleeping with men. Still, it wasn’t something he advertised anymore. He’d had a few lovers since Sirius, but none of them had stayed for more than two weeks, and he hadn’t been sorry to see them go. He’d had one great love of his life, and that was more than most men were allotted, he had come to realize. He was content with his memories, or so he told himself.
“Yeah,” said Neville. “Well, I knew about you and Sirius.”
“Ah.” Remus did not mind people knowing about Sirius. He hoped Neville did not know about the messes that had followed. Harry knew, but Harry was discreet.
“I was jealous, you know,” said Neville. His eyes were still averted. “Never thought I’d have the courage to say that, but - there. I’ve said it. I’m twenty-five. I can say it. I hope that’s not weird.”
“Not weird,” said Remus with a sigh. “You hardly knew him at his best, but Sirius always had this…spark. People were attracted to that.”
“I know,” said Neville. “I mean - Bollocks, I said it wrong. I was jealous of Sirius, not you. I fancied you. You were my first crush, I reckon. First bloke who made me feel like I wasn’t an incompetent idiot.”
“Neville,” said Remus, touched and more than a little surprised, “I’m twenty years older than you are.”
“I know,” the younger man mumbled.
“And very often I feel twice as old again. I’m a werewolf-“
“I know,” Neville cut in. He lifted his head and smiled again. “I know all that. Doesn’t change anything. Didn’t, even when I first found out.” He lifted his chin, as though daring Remus to challenge him. “Anyway. Didn’t come here to declare my undying love.” He rolled his eyes, but his flush deepened. It was Remus’ turn to lower his eyes.
“What I came to tell you,” said Neville, “aside from ‘hello’, I mean, is that I’m here. Staying, I mean. Not in Hogsmeade. At - at Hogwarts. I’m teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts there this year.”
“Congratulations, Neville,” Remus said, his gaze still on his own thin, weathered hands. “That’s extraordinary. Congratulations.”
“Extraordinary because…I was always such rubbish at everything?”
“No,” said Remus, smiling again. “Extraordinary because…that’s truly wonderful news, and I haven’t received truly wonderful news in a long time. I’m proud of you. Truly.” He looked up.
“I’m proud of me, too,” Neville said. “Mum and Dad would’ve been proud, too, wouldn’t they? I mean, you knew them better than I ever did.”
“Yes,” Remus said sincerely. “They would have been very proud of you. So would Professor Dumbledore, were he still alive.” He did not mention Severus Snape, and was glad when Neville did not either, but began moving toward the door.
“So, I’ll be around, I reckon,” Neville said, his hand on the doorknob. “If you’d like.”
“I would like,” said Remus.
“We might have dinner sometime,” Neville said quickly. The dusty shadows that slanted across the shop hid his face, so Remus could not see his expression. “If you want, I mean. I’ll want advice, of course, but also maybe just to talk…”
“I would like that,” Remus said again.
A gust of evening air blew into the shop with Neville’s exit. It made Remus shiver, and suddenly he felt very alone amid his maps and books. On his maps whole cities - whole countries - were reduced to colored segments no wider than his thumb. Were he drawn in, he would be so small as to be practically invisible. Just a speck of life, not a fixture in any landscape. His books contained entire worlds, but as he only drifted through life touching and taking as little as he could, those worlds belonged to other people.
But one person was alone as he felt, and out of all the other people in the world, had sought him.
Remus went to the wall behind his counter and touched his fingertips to the map that hung there. Years ago Sirius had scribbled in the bottom-right corner, Don’t limit yourself to maps, Moony. They’re only paper.
“Of course,” said Remus, tracing the faded letters tenderly. “I know you still exist in a place that can’t be charted. And someday I’ll find you again. But if I should be distracted along the way…”
Wind blew through Quizzik Alley, rattling the sign of the Laughing Dog. Remus turned and saw through the window that the sky was the color of the deepest parts of the ocean, with a few thin clouds strewn across it like foam. No cartographer ever captured those colors.
Remus gathered his ledger and reached for his coat. If he left now, he might find Neville before the sky was completely black. And after that - who knew?
11/16/04