fic: On the Windy Side of Care (Star Trek: AOS)
Title: On the Windy Side of Care
Fandom: Star Trek: AOS
Rating: Adult (sex, language)
Pairing(s): Kirk/McCoy, Uhura (with references to Kirk/others)
Notes: For tsarina_sofia, who won me in the auction to help Queensland. Thank you! Also many thanks to lauriegilbert and mijan for looking this over. 4,800 words.
Summary: Academy fic. Kirk and McCoy are friends with benefits. A remark from Uhura makes Kirk wonder if they aren't more.
Jim is having a good day. He had a great time in Diplomacy 101 this morning. He asked a question about the Babel Crisis in 2154 that sparked a forty-minute debate, one he’s confident he won even though the instructor only said, “Nicely argued, Cadet,” as he left the lecture hall. He aced his Federation History exam this afternoon, which doesn’t surprise him, even though he put in only a minimal amount of studying the night before. He’s known that shit forever. Seriously, who needs a college degree when you have books, a computer, and a brain like a sponge?
So, that was the morning and afternoon. After supper, he met Bones at the gym so they could practice some hand-to-hand combat, which doubles as foreplay these days. Bones actually managed to pin him toward the end. Holding Jim down, with his knee in the small of his back, Bones nipped his ear playfully and whispered, “Get yerself cleaned up, and when we get back to the dorm, I’ll suck you ‘til your eyes roll back.”
They never even make it that far.
Bones has him pressed against the smooth stone exterior of T’Plana-Hath Hall and is going down on him like a pro. Well, okay, maybe not like a pro, but like Bones, which means a lot of noise even though his mouth is full of cock, a lot of tongue action, and a lot of manhandling. Jim has narrow thighs and Bones has big hands, which is a great combination. It’s almost like their bodies were made to fit together, which is something Jim will never say aloud, not in a million years, not even under torture. He isn’t sentimental, and neither is Bones. They’re friends; they don’t say that kind of shit to each other.
They just have each other’s backs. And fuck.
Bones is moaning around Jim’s cock now, one hand gripping his hip while the other works between his legs. Jim tries not to jerk his hips forward because that’s rude, but oh, man. Bones is beautiful when he takes it. Jim’s fingers tighten in his hair and he tips his head back against the stones, making strangled little noises with his throat.
Jim gives Bones fair warning before he comes, but they still manage to make a small mess. Secretly, Jim thinks that Bones likes it that way. He definitely seems to like it when Jim sinks to his own knees and starts licking the evidence of his orgasm from Bones’s lips and chin.
“Goddamn puppy,” Bones grouses, but he submits.
“Let’s go to your place,” says Jim.
“And do what?” Bones’s tone is wary.
Jim grins. “Whaddya think?”
“Oh, God. You don’t come with an off switch, do you? I have to study. Got an exam in Transporter Theory tomorrow, which ain’t exactly my forte. And - stop that,” he says when Jim gives the corner of his mouth another playful lick. “I’m a doctor, not an ice cream sundae.”
Jim sits back on his heels. “So, that’s a no for tonight? I could study too. Or quiz you. Or just read. Have I mentioned how awesome I think it is that you’re studying what freaks you out?”
Bones gives him a strange look, then sighs and shakes his head. “You really wanna do that? Spend the evening with me, just … reading?”
“Sure.”
“When there’ve gotta be dozens of cadets your own age, who wouldn’t mind…”
Feeling a little stung, but not really surprised - remind Bones he’s a doctor and he’s the most self-assured bastard in the universe next to Jim Kirk, remind him he’s a man and suddenly he can’t imagine why anyone in his right mind would want to be near him - Jim says, “So that’s a no. Okay.” He starts to rise.
Bones grabs his wrist and pulls him back down. “Damn it, Jim, that wasn’t a no. Just - don’t you have other friends?”
Of course he does. Plenty of friends. For the first time in his adult life. It’s incredible.
But, for whatever reason, he’s drawn to Bones.
It isn’t just the sex, although that’s great.
Maybe it’s because Bones is a challenge. He’s the best kind of challenge, too, because he thinks he’s uncomplicated, but he’s tricky as all fuck. And when you finally get him unraveled, when you get past the crunchy shell to the marshmallow center…
Maybe it’s because of the way they met on that shuttle back in Riverside, Bones bleeding emotionally, Jim literally. Maybe that bonded them in some way, made them blood brothers.
Who really knows? It isn’t something he spends a whole lot of time thinking about. What would be the point? He knows he has a good thing going with Bones. They’re friends. With excellent benefits.
“Jim?” says Bones. “Earth to Jim. Hailing Jim. I know you think with your dick about ninety percent of the time, but tell me I didn’t suck your brains out through your--”
Jim gives him a toothy, lopsided grin. “Close, but I think all IQ points are present and accounted for. C’mon. I owe you. We can study first, if you want. You’ll get all agitated, worrying about your exam. Then I’ll fuck you until you come so hard you forget your own name. You’ll wake up for class perfectly relaxed.” While he speaks, he crawls forward on his knees until his lips are barely an inch from Bones’s. He feels the hitching breath and his dick twitches. Oh, yes. He’s getting laid again tonight.
Bones scowls. “Bet you’ve forgotten my name.”
“Leonard,” Jim says, letting the syllables trip off his tongue. He tilts his head to the side, angling for another kiss from Doctor Leonard Horatio “Bones” McCoy, when he hears a faint cough somewhere in the darkness off to their right. He immediately sits back, tense and alert, and raises a cautioning hand for Bones.
Getting caught would not be good for either of them. Nobody cares what they do in the privacy of their quarters, so long as it’s legal, but they’re crouched in the shadow of an academic building right now, in their cadet reds. Well, mostly in them. Jim quickly pulls his pants back up.
“Who d’you think--” Bones begins.
“Shh,” whispers Jim. He listens, but doesn’t hear footsteps. Somehow, he’s certain that whoever coughed is still close by. “Let’s leave separately. You go left, I’ll go right. I’ll meet you back at the dorms. You’ll get there first.”
“You don’t wanna be seen together?” There’s a ripple of amusement beneath the dryness of Bones’s tone. “Afraid whoever’s there’ll take one look at us and know we were messing around?”
“Your hair’s a mess, you have grass stains on your knees, and you have the worst poker face I’ve ever seen in my life. They’ll know. Go on. I’ll catch up.”
He doesn’t kiss Bones goodbye, doesn’t wait for him to leave first. He just gets up, makes sure his fly is zipped, and starts walking. Oh, yeah. Their little voyeur is still there, all right. He’s tempted to crouch low and then spring, possibly taking whoever it is by surprise. But maybe it’s an instructor. It could be Admiral Archer, walking his beagle. Shit, maybe it’s Pike. He might commend Jim’s stealth or he might be incredibly annoyed; it’s a toss-up.
Jim makes a quick decision. “Well, hello,” he says loudly, clasping his hands behind him and stepping onto the paved path that runs between the academic buildings. The person isn’t even attempting to conceal himself - herself, rather, judging by the silhouette Jim can now see clearly. It’s a female cadet. At the sound of his voice, she turns quickly, flicking her long hair - which somehow shines even in the dimness - and he knows exactly who’s been spying on them.
“Cadet Uhura,” Jim says, grinning broadly while he closes the distance between them. “Out for a stroll?”
If she were a cat, Jim thinks, her ears would be going flat right now. As it is, she narrows her eyes at him and says, “I was coming back from the long range sensor lab.”
“And you just happened to pass by T’Plana-Hath Hall.”
“It’s on the way to the dorms. Why?” she continues in a tone dripping with feigned innocence, “was something happening at T’Plana-Hath Hall?”
He mimics her tone. “Nothing that’s any concern of yours.”
“Well, then.” With another flick of her long ponytail - seriously, it’s like another appendage, just for expressing disdain - she turns and starts walking away at a brisk pace.
He hurries after her. “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Stepping in front of her, blocking her path, and says, “Wait a sec. How long were you standing there? What did you hear?”
She folds her arms across her chest. “Enough.”
Great. “So, what are you going to do? Tell on me? Wow!” he exclaims, right in her face. “Groundbreaking news! Earth-shattering! Jim Kirk got a blowjob behind T’Plana-Hath Hall!”
“Don’t be an ass.” She steps around him.
Jim sighs. “If you’re going to rat on me, would you leave McCoy out of it? Make somebody up, I don’t care, just don’t get him into trouble. Please.”
Uhura makes a frustrated sound and stamps her foot. Her small hands curl in fists at her sides. “Oh, my God, Kirk. I am not going to rat on you. Do you really think I would?”
She sounds genuinely offended. Hmm, maybe he did judge her too quickly. She’s uptight, sure, but now that he’s thinking about it, he remembers the way she laughed at his quips - some of them, anyway - the night they met in Riverside. In fact, things were going pretty well that night … until those meathead cadets jumped him and he inadvertently groped her.
Jim scratches the back of his neck. “Sorry.”
“You’re so annoying.”
“Sorry,” he says again, rather less sincerely.
“You have this attitude. Like you’re some kind of superstar. When you’re exactly the same as the rest of us. Except that you - unlike the rest of us - joined Starfleet on a whim. You didn’t dream about it. You didn’t suffer through the application process. This uniform--” she waves a hand at his chest, “--isn’t something you aspired to. You just hopped a shuttle one morning, and here you are.”
“Which would suggest,” he points out, “that I’m not exactly the same as the rest of you. Don’t pop a vein,” he continues breezily while she huffs. “The good doctor is long gone. And, anyway, how do you know about my aspirations? For all you know, I always wanted to join Starfleet.”
“Did you?”
“No. But you didn’t know that before I told you.”
“You’re so annoying.”
“So you’ve said. One thing you haven’t said, though, is why you were listening to me and Bones.”
Her fine dark eyebrows shoot up. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Ms. Exceptional Aural Sensitivity.”
“How did you--?”
“Gaila told me. Congratulations. That’s quite a compliment to receive, especially for a future xenolinguist. Getting back to the subject of voyeurism. I heard you cough maybe three minutes before I found you lurking in the shadows. Plenty of time to disappear. Unless you didn’t think we heard you. Maybe you were hoping for more.” As he speaks, it occurs to him that he doesn’t like the idea of Uhura listening to him and Bones. Which is a little weird, he supposes, since he’s put on shows for people before. In bathroom stalls in bars. In alleys. He doesn’t usually care who hears him. He’s vocal when he fucks, and not for his own entertainment.
Okay, so maybe he’s offended on Bones’s behalf. Except when he’s drunk, the guy is usually pretty private. From the way he talks - to Jim - it seems he was pretty wild in college and med school, but that doesn’t make him an exhibitionist now.
No, Jim thinks as he watches Uhura’s beautiful face contort with rage - and somehow stay beautiful - he’s a little offended on his own behalf too.
“You--” Uhura splutters.
“Just admit it.”
“You’re a pig, Kirk.”
“And what’re you?”
“Oh, God - I wasn’t listening!” She tosses her head back, bearing the tips of her perfect teeth. Once again, she reminds him of a cat. Claws out. “I don’t want to listen to you getting off, believe me. Of all the things that I don’t want to hear, that pretty much tops the list. I was walking home from the lab, like I said, and I happened to hear voices. It did not take me long to realize it was you and McCoy. You were talking about studying and…” She gestures vaguely.
“Fucking?” says Jim blandly.
“Yes. Fucking.” She doesn’t blush or stammer, but the word still sounds funny coming from her mouth. “Anyway, I coughed to remind you that you were in public, and that anyone might come by and overhear you. That’s all. I was not listening to you.”
“You coughed to warn us.”
“That’s right.”
Jim shakes his head. “But you don’t like me. Even if you aren’t planning on ratting, wouldn’t you love it if I got caught with my pants down - literally?”
She rolls her eyes. “You, yes. Him, no.”
“Him - McCoy? You were looking out for Bones?”
She frowns at him for a moment, then pivots on her boot heel and starts walking again.
“Hey.” Jim grabs her arm. She shrugs him off. He gets in her way again.
“Would you--” she begins.
“Thanks,” says Jim.
“I just said I wasn’t looking out for you, I was--”
“I know,” Jim says. “Thank you for looking out for him.”
They stare at each other. Her chin is still raised, her nostrils flared. A sluggish breeze toys with the ends of her hair. Jim feels a flush creeping up his cheeks, and he doesn’t know why. He isn’t embarrassed and he isn’t angry anymore. This conversation has taken a strange turn.
“You like him,” Jim says. “Bones. I didn’t know you knew him that well.”
“I don’t. We have one class together, and I’ve seen him at the infirmary a couple of times.”
“So--”
“I was there when the two of you met, remember? I was sitting right across from you. I heard everything. About his wife and the divorce. I know why you call him Bones.” She looks away from him finally. “Everyone else thinks it’s because he’s a doctor. You know, a sawbones.”
“Yeah, I know. So, what’re you saying? You’re interested in Bones? I can let him know, if you like. It’s not like we’re exclusive or anything. We’re just friends, really. And he likes women too.”
The idea of Bones and Uhura kind of gives him a twinge. Though - wow. It could be interesting to watch. He’s seen the way Bones acts around civilian women, and even some of the female doctors and nurses at Starfleet Medical. He has that whole Southern gentleman thing. It’s completely different from how he is around Jim. Would Bones turn on the charm for Uhura? Would it piss her off? He has a feeling it would. Uhura carries herself like a princess or a prima ballerina, but Jim has seen the withering looks she reserves for cadets who try to do things like pull out her chair or carry her books.
She’s all wrong for Bones.
“I’m not interested in Leonard,” Uhura says. “Not that way, at least. He isn’t my type. Thank you for the offer, though.”
He can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic.
Well, that’s a relief. Selfish as it is, he isn’t quite ready to lose Bones, and he knows that he would if the guy ever got into an actual relationship with someone. Unlike Jim, he believes in things like monogamy. He’s willing to bet real money that Uhura does too.
“Uh, you’re welcome,” he says. Not really knowing why, he adds, “He’s a great guy, you know. Bones.”
“I know. I mean, I don’t know him that well. Just from class and the infirmary. He seems to have a temper.”
Jim’s lips twitch. “Yeah, he does.”
“And some of the arguments he makes in class aren’t always logical. Impassioned, yes, but not logical.”
“Is that a flaw?”
Uhura shrugs. “And I have to question his taste in men.”
“Hey.”
She smiles. “But mostly, I like him. And, knowing what I know about … where he came from, I wouldn’t like seeing him hurt.”
“Me neither.”
“I believe you.” She looks up at him with those big dark eyes of hers. “This is going to sound strange,” she says, “but I like you a little better when you’re with him. Or when you’re defending him.”
Jim blinks. “Really?”
“Yes. I find you fractionally less annoying when you’re looking out for McCoy. In fact, it’s almost noble.”
“Huh.”
“Almost noble. So, if you don’t mind, I have studying to do.”
“You think I act differently around Bones?”
“Kirk, good night.”
Jim stands there on the path, watching her. While they talked, he’d only been half aware of the dense encroaching fog. Now it swirls around Uhura’s retreating form. He calls out, “Hey! He’s seen your medical charts, hasn’t he? He knows your first name!”
“Everyone knows except you, Kirk.”
“If I asked Bones or Gaila, they’d tell me.”
“So, ask them.”
“I want you to tell me!”
She waves and her hair swishes against her shoulders, but she doesn’t turn back. Moments later, she vanishes in the fog.
He thinks about running after her, maybe challenging her to a race back to the dorms. She’d probably beat him - he’s seen her on the indoor track in the athletic compound, not that he was watching - but winning wouldn’t be the point. He’s starting to feel chilled, and the run would warm him up. It would also take his mind off what she said about him and Bones.
Which is starting to bother him, although he has no idea why. He doesn’t ordinarily let other people’s opinions get to him.
So why does he care what she thinks?
It’s because it’s Uhura, he tells himself, the one cadet on this campus who seems totally immune to his charm.
Well, maybe not totally. She did say she finds him fractionally less annoying when he’s defending Bones.
Interesting.
Still, for some reason her words trouble him.
Jim scratches distractedly at the back of his neck.
He isn’t going to catch up with her now, he knows. Well - he could technically, even though he can barely see the footpath through the fog. Wouldn’t she just love it if he came barreling out of the fog and crashed right into her? But he doesn’t feel like bothering her anymore tonight. She did him a favor, after all. Okay, okay, she did Bones a favor. Jim just happened to be there. If Bones had been giving someone else a blowjob behind T’Plana-Hath Hall, that person would’ve benefited from Uhura’s exceptional aural sensitivity. And her thoughtfulness.
Jim bites his bottom lip. The thought of Bones blowing somebody else gives him a twinge. He reminds himself that Uhura turned down his offer, and once again he experiences that odd feeling of relief.
Why the hell did he offer Bones to her in the first place? What would he have done if she’d said yes?
Probably nothing, he thinks, scuffing at the pavement with the sole of his boot. He’d probably just stand back and watch, hating every minute of it whether it worked out for them or not.
He is such a fucking hypocrite.
Noble, my ass.
Jim sucks in a deep breath of cold, damp air. As he exhales, a shiver wriggles up from the base of his spine, causing the short hairs on the backs of his arms and the base of his skull to stand up.
He almost doesn’t want to go to Bones now. He doesn’t deserve it. He should run after Uhura and piss her off so badly that she takes back everything she said. He isn’t noble. He isn’t even fractionally less annoying. Maybe, if he can get her to yell loud enough, some other cadets will come running and he can pick a fight with them.
He’s an asshole, a fuck-up who was given a chance he didn’t deserve. Uhura was right; he didn’t aspire to the uniform. It was always kind of in the back of his mind, but except for taking the aptitude tests, he never worked for it the way she did. In retrospect, he would’ve hated disappointing Pike, but the truth is that he probably wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t happened to see the ship nestled in her scaffolding, gleaming like a seashell in the watery pre-dawn light.
For the first time in his life, he saw an end to cornfields and low hills; he saw the edge of his father’s shadow and everything that lay beyond it. Billions of stars orbited by millions of planets, waiting to be discovered. Billions of people waiting to be met.
He wanted that ship. Still wants it. He doesn’t deserve it, not yet, but he wants it.
Fuck, he should go back to the gym and just run laps or something. Or change into his civilian clothes, take a taxi downtown, and find somebody to screw. He should soak his head under a cold shower.
But he told Bones he’d be there. Said he’d help him, said he’d make him come.
Bones doesn’t know why anyone would want to waste their time with him. Or stand up for him.
He doesn’t know. It breaks Jim’s heart a little.
How can he let him down? It’s pretty obvious that he can’t. Jim may not be noble or even almost noble, but wittingly disappointing Bones is one thing he can’t bring himself to do.
* * * *
Jim is better than his word. He makes Bones come three times, once in his mouth, once with four fingers buried deep inside him, and once with Jim’s cock fucking in and out of his ass. Bones doesn’t think he can do it, insists that he can’t, but Jim has faith in his own skills and Bones’s stamina. Jim uses every trick in his considerable arsenal to wring the orgasms out of him, and by the last one Bones is trembling, practically quivering in his arms.
Still, he manages to turn his head and scowl over his shoulder when Jim asks him teasingly, “So, what’s your name?”
Bones has half his face mashed against the pillow, so the words come out slurred. “Tha’ gonna be on th’ test?”
“Uh, yeah,” Jim says, grinning. He hugs Bones around his chest and kisses his shoulder. “It’s gonna be the first question, and if you get it wrong, you’re fucked.”
“Well, I’m fucked,” says Bones, and the corner of his lips curve upward in a sleepy smile.
“You are so fucked.” Jim keeps moving inside him while he speaks. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone as fucked as you. And, Bones?” He nips his ear exactly the way Bones did when they were sparring earlier. Bones shivers. “You’re fucking beautiful,” whispers Jim.
“Huhn.” He sounds more amused than disbelieving, so Jim feels satisfied with his work here this evening. Scraping his teeth over Bones’s shoulder and keeping one arm looped around his chest, he reaches between his legs and plays with his balls and softening cock while his own orgasm builds.
He’s close. He’s been close for a while, actually, since Bones started groaning and pushing back against him, but now he can let go. He rears back, and then slams in again, jerking Bones’s body almost violently, rucking up the sheets beneath them.
“Jim.” Bones’s voice is low and ragged.
“I gotcha. Not hurting you, am I?”
Bones shakes his head against the pillow. Jim lifts his neck to get a good look at his face. His eyes are closed, his lashes clumped together. Wisps of hair cling to his sweat-slick forehead. He is beautiful, no question. Uhura’s the one with questionable taste in men, if she can turn this down.
It occurs to Jim, as he pounds into Bones, that he saw the ship first, but this is the first good thing he’s ever earned. Then the dam breaks and his hips start juddering of their own volition. He drops his eyelids and for a few seconds, all he can see are stars whirling and bursting on a field of white.
It’s a few minutes before he comes back to himself and his heart stops volleying against his ribcage. He’s slumped on top of Bones, who’s breathing heavily, like he’s already asleep. Raising himself on one elbow, Jim gently brushes the hair out of his eyes. “Hey, Bones?”
Bones’s lips twitch in a feeble frown. “M’wake.”
“Okay. I’m gonna clean up. You don’t have to move.”
“D’you even know how to clean?” Bones grumps.
Jim kisses his temple. “Don’t move.” He pulls out carefully, eliciting only the smallest huff of discomfort. Rising shakily to his feet, Jim regards his handiwork. Bones has been fucked thoroughly, all right, he thinks with a grin. He’s never looked so debauched. His thighs are splayed wide and shiny with sweat, lube, and come. He could probably take two cocks right now - which gives Jim ideas. If Bones isn’t up for a threesome, there are always toys.
Still smiling, Jim goes into the head and gets a damp towel so he can give Bones and the sheets a good rubdown. He returns to find Bones already flopped over on his back, his arm draped over his eyes. He sighs when Jim starts to wipe him down, but he doesn’t lift his arm or crack his eyes open until Jim tugs the blanket up over him.
“Thanks, kid,” he mutters.
Jim shrugs. “What’re friends for?” Okay, so it’s trite. He never knows what to say when Bones acts grateful.
“Never had a friend like you.”
Jim doesn’t say anything.
A few seconds later, Bones grunts and curls onto his side, hugging his pillow. The blanket falls away slightly, revealing the long question mark of his shoulders and back.
Jim swallows. Licks his lips. Hurriedly tosses the towel down the laundry chute, then starts to pull on his clothes. He never stays the night, except when they’ve been drinking too much and Bones determines that he couldn’t make it to the turbolift, never mind his own dorm, or when Jim’s roommate wants privacy. Those times, Bones just tosses some sheets and a spare blanket onto the floor and Jim beds down comfortably enough. He’s never slept next to Bones in his bed before. It’s just too damn narrow. They’d end up spooning or something, and that would be weird.
Jim rakes a hand through his hair and laughs noiselessly. Yeah, swallowing his best friend’s come is fine, but spooning is weird.
“Oh, Bones.” He pauses in the doorway and looks back. Bones is still lying on his side, one arm flung across the pillow, his fingers lax, the long bow of his shoulders exposed and vulnerable. He’s probably deeply asleep. He must be, since his frown lines are almost invisible. “Lights to two percent,” Jim says. For reasons he has not yet divulged, Bones doesn’t like to sleep in total darkness. Jim imagines Bones as a small child, afraid of the dark.
But not a coward, he thinks, his smile wavering. He rests his shoulder against the doorframe.
Bones doesn’t know why anyone would want to be with him, or stand up for him. He doesn’t know why Jim would want him, when he can have almost anyone. It isn’t false modesty or anything like that; he really doesn’t get it. And the sheer wrongness of that pierces Jim’s soul, makes him want to howl in frustration.
Bones wears his heart on his sleeve, which makes him a lot braver than Jim in some regards. Yeah, yeah, the famous temper. It’s the only shield he carries, and it’s so fucking battered, it’s amazing more people don’t see right through it.
Bones takes care of people. He takes care of Jim. Even at Jim’s worst - and Bones has witnessed some embarrassingly bad moments over the past year or so - he somehow finds something in him that’s worth believing in. Really believing. Jim knows, despite the harsh words, and the hands and mouth that are sometimes rough. Bones doesn’t just see what’s worthwhile in Jim, he’s passionate about it. Even if it isn’t logical.
And he trusts Bones. Really trusts him. Just thinking about it leaves Jim feeling fragile and raw, like he’s just run a marathon.
He needs Bones. And he’s never needed anyone.
“You’re gonna ace that test tomorrow,” Jim says in a whisper. “Just don’t forget your fucking name. Then you’re coming with me. To the stars.”
It’s the one thing he knows with absolute certainty.
But, just to absolutely safe, he finds a piece of paper and a pen, and writes LEONARD in big blocky letters. He leaves the reminder on Bones's night table, where he'll be sure to see it when he wakes up.
No point in taking chances.
4/28/11
Fandom: Star Trek: AOS
Rating: Adult (sex, language)
Pairing(s): Kirk/McCoy, Uhura (with references to Kirk/others)
Notes: For tsarina_sofia, who won me in the auction to help Queensland. Thank you! Also many thanks to lauriegilbert and mijan for looking this over. 4,800 words.
Summary: Academy fic. Kirk and McCoy are friends with benefits. A remark from Uhura makes Kirk wonder if they aren't more.
Jim is having a good day. He had a great time in Diplomacy 101 this morning. He asked a question about the Babel Crisis in 2154 that sparked a forty-minute debate, one he’s confident he won even though the instructor only said, “Nicely argued, Cadet,” as he left the lecture hall. He aced his Federation History exam this afternoon, which doesn’t surprise him, even though he put in only a minimal amount of studying the night before. He’s known that shit forever. Seriously, who needs a college degree when you have books, a computer, and a brain like a sponge?
So, that was the morning and afternoon. After supper, he met Bones at the gym so they could practice some hand-to-hand combat, which doubles as foreplay these days. Bones actually managed to pin him toward the end. Holding Jim down, with his knee in the small of his back, Bones nipped his ear playfully and whispered, “Get yerself cleaned up, and when we get back to the dorm, I’ll suck you ‘til your eyes roll back.”
They never even make it that far.
Bones has him pressed against the smooth stone exterior of T’Plana-Hath Hall and is going down on him like a pro. Well, okay, maybe not like a pro, but like Bones, which means a lot of noise even though his mouth is full of cock, a lot of tongue action, and a lot of manhandling. Jim has narrow thighs and Bones has big hands, which is a great combination. It’s almost like their bodies were made to fit together, which is something Jim will never say aloud, not in a million years, not even under torture. He isn’t sentimental, and neither is Bones. They’re friends; they don’t say that kind of shit to each other.
They just have each other’s backs. And fuck.
Bones is moaning around Jim’s cock now, one hand gripping his hip while the other works between his legs. Jim tries not to jerk his hips forward because that’s rude, but oh, man. Bones is beautiful when he takes it. Jim’s fingers tighten in his hair and he tips his head back against the stones, making strangled little noises with his throat.
Jim gives Bones fair warning before he comes, but they still manage to make a small mess. Secretly, Jim thinks that Bones likes it that way. He definitely seems to like it when Jim sinks to his own knees and starts licking the evidence of his orgasm from Bones’s lips and chin.
“Goddamn puppy,” Bones grouses, but he submits.
“Let’s go to your place,” says Jim.
“And do what?” Bones’s tone is wary.
Jim grins. “Whaddya think?”
“Oh, God. You don’t come with an off switch, do you? I have to study. Got an exam in Transporter Theory tomorrow, which ain’t exactly my forte. And - stop that,” he says when Jim gives the corner of his mouth another playful lick. “I’m a doctor, not an ice cream sundae.”
Jim sits back on his heels. “So, that’s a no for tonight? I could study too. Or quiz you. Or just read. Have I mentioned how awesome I think it is that you’re studying what freaks you out?”
Bones gives him a strange look, then sighs and shakes his head. “You really wanna do that? Spend the evening with me, just … reading?”
“Sure.”
“When there’ve gotta be dozens of cadets your own age, who wouldn’t mind…”
Feeling a little stung, but not really surprised - remind Bones he’s a doctor and he’s the most self-assured bastard in the universe next to Jim Kirk, remind him he’s a man and suddenly he can’t imagine why anyone in his right mind would want to be near him - Jim says, “So that’s a no. Okay.” He starts to rise.
Bones grabs his wrist and pulls him back down. “Damn it, Jim, that wasn’t a no. Just - don’t you have other friends?”
Of course he does. Plenty of friends. For the first time in his adult life. It’s incredible.
But, for whatever reason, he’s drawn to Bones.
It isn’t just the sex, although that’s great.
Maybe it’s because Bones is a challenge. He’s the best kind of challenge, too, because he thinks he’s uncomplicated, but he’s tricky as all fuck. And when you finally get him unraveled, when you get past the crunchy shell to the marshmallow center…
Maybe it’s because of the way they met on that shuttle back in Riverside, Bones bleeding emotionally, Jim literally. Maybe that bonded them in some way, made them blood brothers.
Who really knows? It isn’t something he spends a whole lot of time thinking about. What would be the point? He knows he has a good thing going with Bones. They’re friends. With excellent benefits.
“Jim?” says Bones. “Earth to Jim. Hailing Jim. I know you think with your dick about ninety percent of the time, but tell me I didn’t suck your brains out through your--”
Jim gives him a toothy, lopsided grin. “Close, but I think all IQ points are present and accounted for. C’mon. I owe you. We can study first, if you want. You’ll get all agitated, worrying about your exam. Then I’ll fuck you until you come so hard you forget your own name. You’ll wake up for class perfectly relaxed.” While he speaks, he crawls forward on his knees until his lips are barely an inch from Bones’s. He feels the hitching breath and his dick twitches. Oh, yes. He’s getting laid again tonight.
Bones scowls. “Bet you’ve forgotten my name.”
“Leonard,” Jim says, letting the syllables trip off his tongue. He tilts his head to the side, angling for another kiss from Doctor Leonard Horatio “Bones” McCoy, when he hears a faint cough somewhere in the darkness off to their right. He immediately sits back, tense and alert, and raises a cautioning hand for Bones.
Getting caught would not be good for either of them. Nobody cares what they do in the privacy of their quarters, so long as it’s legal, but they’re crouched in the shadow of an academic building right now, in their cadet reds. Well, mostly in them. Jim quickly pulls his pants back up.
“Who d’you think--” Bones begins.
“Shh,” whispers Jim. He listens, but doesn’t hear footsteps. Somehow, he’s certain that whoever coughed is still close by. “Let’s leave separately. You go left, I’ll go right. I’ll meet you back at the dorms. You’ll get there first.”
“You don’t wanna be seen together?” There’s a ripple of amusement beneath the dryness of Bones’s tone. “Afraid whoever’s there’ll take one look at us and know we were messing around?”
“Your hair’s a mess, you have grass stains on your knees, and you have the worst poker face I’ve ever seen in my life. They’ll know. Go on. I’ll catch up.”
He doesn’t kiss Bones goodbye, doesn’t wait for him to leave first. He just gets up, makes sure his fly is zipped, and starts walking. Oh, yeah. Their little voyeur is still there, all right. He’s tempted to crouch low and then spring, possibly taking whoever it is by surprise. But maybe it’s an instructor. It could be Admiral Archer, walking his beagle. Shit, maybe it’s Pike. He might commend Jim’s stealth or he might be incredibly annoyed; it’s a toss-up.
Jim makes a quick decision. “Well, hello,” he says loudly, clasping his hands behind him and stepping onto the paved path that runs between the academic buildings. The person isn’t even attempting to conceal himself - herself, rather, judging by the silhouette Jim can now see clearly. It’s a female cadet. At the sound of his voice, she turns quickly, flicking her long hair - which somehow shines even in the dimness - and he knows exactly who’s been spying on them.
“Cadet Uhura,” Jim says, grinning broadly while he closes the distance between them. “Out for a stroll?”
If she were a cat, Jim thinks, her ears would be going flat right now. As it is, she narrows her eyes at him and says, “I was coming back from the long range sensor lab.”
“And you just happened to pass by T’Plana-Hath Hall.”
“It’s on the way to the dorms. Why?” she continues in a tone dripping with feigned innocence, “was something happening at T’Plana-Hath Hall?”
He mimics her tone. “Nothing that’s any concern of yours.”
“Well, then.” With another flick of her long ponytail - seriously, it’s like another appendage, just for expressing disdain - she turns and starts walking away at a brisk pace.
He hurries after her. “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Stepping in front of her, blocking her path, and says, “Wait a sec. How long were you standing there? What did you hear?”
She folds her arms across her chest. “Enough.”
Great. “So, what are you going to do? Tell on me? Wow!” he exclaims, right in her face. “Groundbreaking news! Earth-shattering! Jim Kirk got a blowjob behind T’Plana-Hath Hall!”
“Don’t be an ass.” She steps around him.
Jim sighs. “If you’re going to rat on me, would you leave McCoy out of it? Make somebody up, I don’t care, just don’t get him into trouble. Please.”
Uhura makes a frustrated sound and stamps her foot. Her small hands curl in fists at her sides. “Oh, my God, Kirk. I am not going to rat on you. Do you really think I would?”
She sounds genuinely offended. Hmm, maybe he did judge her too quickly. She’s uptight, sure, but now that he’s thinking about it, he remembers the way she laughed at his quips - some of them, anyway - the night they met in Riverside. In fact, things were going pretty well that night … until those meathead cadets jumped him and he inadvertently groped her.
Jim scratches the back of his neck. “Sorry.”
“You’re so annoying.”
“Sorry,” he says again, rather less sincerely.
“You have this attitude. Like you’re some kind of superstar. When you’re exactly the same as the rest of us. Except that you - unlike the rest of us - joined Starfleet on a whim. You didn’t dream about it. You didn’t suffer through the application process. This uniform--” she waves a hand at his chest, “--isn’t something you aspired to. You just hopped a shuttle one morning, and here you are.”
“Which would suggest,” he points out, “that I’m not exactly the same as the rest of you. Don’t pop a vein,” he continues breezily while she huffs. “The good doctor is long gone. And, anyway, how do you know about my aspirations? For all you know, I always wanted to join Starfleet.”
“Did you?”
“No. But you didn’t know that before I told you.”
“You’re so annoying.”
“So you’ve said. One thing you haven’t said, though, is why you were listening to me and Bones.”
Her fine dark eyebrows shoot up. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Ms. Exceptional Aural Sensitivity.”
“How did you--?”
“Gaila told me. Congratulations. That’s quite a compliment to receive, especially for a future xenolinguist. Getting back to the subject of voyeurism. I heard you cough maybe three minutes before I found you lurking in the shadows. Plenty of time to disappear. Unless you didn’t think we heard you. Maybe you were hoping for more.” As he speaks, it occurs to him that he doesn’t like the idea of Uhura listening to him and Bones. Which is a little weird, he supposes, since he’s put on shows for people before. In bathroom stalls in bars. In alleys. He doesn’t usually care who hears him. He’s vocal when he fucks, and not for his own entertainment.
Okay, so maybe he’s offended on Bones’s behalf. Except when he’s drunk, the guy is usually pretty private. From the way he talks - to Jim - it seems he was pretty wild in college and med school, but that doesn’t make him an exhibitionist now.
No, Jim thinks as he watches Uhura’s beautiful face contort with rage - and somehow stay beautiful - he’s a little offended on his own behalf too.
“You--” Uhura splutters.
“Just admit it.”
“You’re a pig, Kirk.”
“And what’re you?”
“Oh, God - I wasn’t listening!” She tosses her head back, bearing the tips of her perfect teeth. Once again, she reminds him of a cat. Claws out. “I don’t want to listen to you getting off, believe me. Of all the things that I don’t want to hear, that pretty much tops the list. I was walking home from the lab, like I said, and I happened to hear voices. It did not take me long to realize it was you and McCoy. You were talking about studying and…” She gestures vaguely.
“Fucking?” says Jim blandly.
“Yes. Fucking.” She doesn’t blush or stammer, but the word still sounds funny coming from her mouth. “Anyway, I coughed to remind you that you were in public, and that anyone might come by and overhear you. That’s all. I was not listening to you.”
“You coughed to warn us.”
“That’s right.”
Jim shakes his head. “But you don’t like me. Even if you aren’t planning on ratting, wouldn’t you love it if I got caught with my pants down - literally?”
She rolls her eyes. “You, yes. Him, no.”
“Him - McCoy? You were looking out for Bones?”
She frowns at him for a moment, then pivots on her boot heel and starts walking again.
“Hey.” Jim grabs her arm. She shrugs him off. He gets in her way again.
“Would you--” she begins.
“Thanks,” says Jim.
“I just said I wasn’t looking out for you, I was--”
“I know,” Jim says. “Thank you for looking out for him.”
They stare at each other. Her chin is still raised, her nostrils flared. A sluggish breeze toys with the ends of her hair. Jim feels a flush creeping up his cheeks, and he doesn’t know why. He isn’t embarrassed and he isn’t angry anymore. This conversation has taken a strange turn.
“You like him,” Jim says. “Bones. I didn’t know you knew him that well.”
“I don’t. We have one class together, and I’ve seen him at the infirmary a couple of times.”
“So--”
“I was there when the two of you met, remember? I was sitting right across from you. I heard everything. About his wife and the divorce. I know why you call him Bones.” She looks away from him finally. “Everyone else thinks it’s because he’s a doctor. You know, a sawbones.”
“Yeah, I know. So, what’re you saying? You’re interested in Bones? I can let him know, if you like. It’s not like we’re exclusive or anything. We’re just friends, really. And he likes women too.”
The idea of Bones and Uhura kind of gives him a twinge. Though - wow. It could be interesting to watch. He’s seen the way Bones acts around civilian women, and even some of the female doctors and nurses at Starfleet Medical. He has that whole Southern gentleman thing. It’s completely different from how he is around Jim. Would Bones turn on the charm for Uhura? Would it piss her off? He has a feeling it would. Uhura carries herself like a princess or a prima ballerina, but Jim has seen the withering looks she reserves for cadets who try to do things like pull out her chair or carry her books.
She’s all wrong for Bones.
“I’m not interested in Leonard,” Uhura says. “Not that way, at least. He isn’t my type. Thank you for the offer, though.”
He can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic.
Well, that’s a relief. Selfish as it is, he isn’t quite ready to lose Bones, and he knows that he would if the guy ever got into an actual relationship with someone. Unlike Jim, he believes in things like monogamy. He’s willing to bet real money that Uhura does too.
“Uh, you’re welcome,” he says. Not really knowing why, he adds, “He’s a great guy, you know. Bones.”
“I know. I mean, I don’t know him that well. Just from class and the infirmary. He seems to have a temper.”
Jim’s lips twitch. “Yeah, he does.”
“And some of the arguments he makes in class aren’t always logical. Impassioned, yes, but not logical.”
“Is that a flaw?”
Uhura shrugs. “And I have to question his taste in men.”
“Hey.”
She smiles. “But mostly, I like him. And, knowing what I know about … where he came from, I wouldn’t like seeing him hurt.”
“Me neither.”
“I believe you.” She looks up at him with those big dark eyes of hers. “This is going to sound strange,” she says, “but I like you a little better when you’re with him. Or when you’re defending him.”
Jim blinks. “Really?”
“Yes. I find you fractionally less annoying when you’re looking out for McCoy. In fact, it’s almost noble.”
“Huh.”
“Almost noble. So, if you don’t mind, I have studying to do.”
“You think I act differently around Bones?”
“Kirk, good night.”
Jim stands there on the path, watching her. While they talked, he’d only been half aware of the dense encroaching fog. Now it swirls around Uhura’s retreating form. He calls out, “Hey! He’s seen your medical charts, hasn’t he? He knows your first name!”
“Everyone knows except you, Kirk.”
“If I asked Bones or Gaila, they’d tell me.”
“So, ask them.”
“I want you to tell me!”
She waves and her hair swishes against her shoulders, but she doesn’t turn back. Moments later, she vanishes in the fog.
He thinks about running after her, maybe challenging her to a race back to the dorms. She’d probably beat him - he’s seen her on the indoor track in the athletic compound, not that he was watching - but winning wouldn’t be the point. He’s starting to feel chilled, and the run would warm him up. It would also take his mind off what she said about him and Bones.
Which is starting to bother him, although he has no idea why. He doesn’t ordinarily let other people’s opinions get to him.
So why does he care what she thinks?
It’s because it’s Uhura, he tells himself, the one cadet on this campus who seems totally immune to his charm.
Well, maybe not totally. She did say she finds him fractionally less annoying when he’s defending Bones.
Interesting.
Still, for some reason her words trouble him.
Jim scratches distractedly at the back of his neck.
He isn’t going to catch up with her now, he knows. Well - he could technically, even though he can barely see the footpath through the fog. Wouldn’t she just love it if he came barreling out of the fog and crashed right into her? But he doesn’t feel like bothering her anymore tonight. She did him a favor, after all. Okay, okay, she did Bones a favor. Jim just happened to be there. If Bones had been giving someone else a blowjob behind T’Plana-Hath Hall, that person would’ve benefited from Uhura’s exceptional aural sensitivity. And her thoughtfulness.
Jim bites his bottom lip. The thought of Bones blowing somebody else gives him a twinge. He reminds himself that Uhura turned down his offer, and once again he experiences that odd feeling of relief.
Why the hell did he offer Bones to her in the first place? What would he have done if she’d said yes?
Probably nothing, he thinks, scuffing at the pavement with the sole of his boot. He’d probably just stand back and watch, hating every minute of it whether it worked out for them or not.
He is such a fucking hypocrite.
Noble, my ass.
Jim sucks in a deep breath of cold, damp air. As he exhales, a shiver wriggles up from the base of his spine, causing the short hairs on the backs of his arms and the base of his skull to stand up.
He almost doesn’t want to go to Bones now. He doesn’t deserve it. He should run after Uhura and piss her off so badly that she takes back everything she said. He isn’t noble. He isn’t even fractionally less annoying. Maybe, if he can get her to yell loud enough, some other cadets will come running and he can pick a fight with them.
He’s an asshole, a fuck-up who was given a chance he didn’t deserve. Uhura was right; he didn’t aspire to the uniform. It was always kind of in the back of his mind, but except for taking the aptitude tests, he never worked for it the way she did. In retrospect, he would’ve hated disappointing Pike, but the truth is that he probably wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t happened to see the ship nestled in her scaffolding, gleaming like a seashell in the watery pre-dawn light.
For the first time in his life, he saw an end to cornfields and low hills; he saw the edge of his father’s shadow and everything that lay beyond it. Billions of stars orbited by millions of planets, waiting to be discovered. Billions of people waiting to be met.
He wanted that ship. Still wants it. He doesn’t deserve it, not yet, but he wants it.
Fuck, he should go back to the gym and just run laps or something. Or change into his civilian clothes, take a taxi downtown, and find somebody to screw. He should soak his head under a cold shower.
But he told Bones he’d be there. Said he’d help him, said he’d make him come.
Bones doesn’t know why anyone would want to waste their time with him. Or stand up for him.
He doesn’t know. It breaks Jim’s heart a little.
How can he let him down? It’s pretty obvious that he can’t. Jim may not be noble or even almost noble, but wittingly disappointing Bones is one thing he can’t bring himself to do.
* * * *
Jim is better than his word. He makes Bones come three times, once in his mouth, once with four fingers buried deep inside him, and once with Jim’s cock fucking in and out of his ass. Bones doesn’t think he can do it, insists that he can’t, but Jim has faith in his own skills and Bones’s stamina. Jim uses every trick in his considerable arsenal to wring the orgasms out of him, and by the last one Bones is trembling, practically quivering in his arms.
Still, he manages to turn his head and scowl over his shoulder when Jim asks him teasingly, “So, what’s your name?”
Bones has half his face mashed against the pillow, so the words come out slurred. “Tha’ gonna be on th’ test?”
“Uh, yeah,” Jim says, grinning. He hugs Bones around his chest and kisses his shoulder. “It’s gonna be the first question, and if you get it wrong, you’re fucked.”
“Well, I’m fucked,” says Bones, and the corner of his lips curve upward in a sleepy smile.
“You are so fucked.” Jim keeps moving inside him while he speaks. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone as fucked as you. And, Bones?” He nips his ear exactly the way Bones did when they were sparring earlier. Bones shivers. “You’re fucking beautiful,” whispers Jim.
“Huhn.” He sounds more amused than disbelieving, so Jim feels satisfied with his work here this evening. Scraping his teeth over Bones’s shoulder and keeping one arm looped around his chest, he reaches between his legs and plays with his balls and softening cock while his own orgasm builds.
He’s close. He’s been close for a while, actually, since Bones started groaning and pushing back against him, but now he can let go. He rears back, and then slams in again, jerking Bones’s body almost violently, rucking up the sheets beneath them.
“Jim.” Bones’s voice is low and ragged.
“I gotcha. Not hurting you, am I?”
Bones shakes his head against the pillow. Jim lifts his neck to get a good look at his face. His eyes are closed, his lashes clumped together. Wisps of hair cling to his sweat-slick forehead. He is beautiful, no question. Uhura’s the one with questionable taste in men, if she can turn this down.
It occurs to Jim, as he pounds into Bones, that he saw the ship first, but this is the first good thing he’s ever earned. Then the dam breaks and his hips start juddering of their own volition. He drops his eyelids and for a few seconds, all he can see are stars whirling and bursting on a field of white.
It’s a few minutes before he comes back to himself and his heart stops volleying against his ribcage. He’s slumped on top of Bones, who’s breathing heavily, like he’s already asleep. Raising himself on one elbow, Jim gently brushes the hair out of his eyes. “Hey, Bones?”
Bones’s lips twitch in a feeble frown. “M’wake.”
“Okay. I’m gonna clean up. You don’t have to move.”
“D’you even know how to clean?” Bones grumps.
Jim kisses his temple. “Don’t move.” He pulls out carefully, eliciting only the smallest huff of discomfort. Rising shakily to his feet, Jim regards his handiwork. Bones has been fucked thoroughly, all right, he thinks with a grin. He’s never looked so debauched. His thighs are splayed wide and shiny with sweat, lube, and come. He could probably take two cocks right now - which gives Jim ideas. If Bones isn’t up for a threesome, there are always toys.
Still smiling, Jim goes into the head and gets a damp towel so he can give Bones and the sheets a good rubdown. He returns to find Bones already flopped over on his back, his arm draped over his eyes. He sighs when Jim starts to wipe him down, but he doesn’t lift his arm or crack his eyes open until Jim tugs the blanket up over him.
“Thanks, kid,” he mutters.
Jim shrugs. “What’re friends for?” Okay, so it’s trite. He never knows what to say when Bones acts grateful.
“Never had a friend like you.”
Jim doesn’t say anything.
A few seconds later, Bones grunts and curls onto his side, hugging his pillow. The blanket falls away slightly, revealing the long question mark of his shoulders and back.
Jim swallows. Licks his lips. Hurriedly tosses the towel down the laundry chute, then starts to pull on his clothes. He never stays the night, except when they’ve been drinking too much and Bones determines that he couldn’t make it to the turbolift, never mind his own dorm, or when Jim’s roommate wants privacy. Those times, Bones just tosses some sheets and a spare blanket onto the floor and Jim beds down comfortably enough. He’s never slept next to Bones in his bed before. It’s just too damn narrow. They’d end up spooning or something, and that would be weird.
Jim rakes a hand through his hair and laughs noiselessly. Yeah, swallowing his best friend’s come is fine, but spooning is weird.
“Oh, Bones.” He pauses in the doorway and looks back. Bones is still lying on his side, one arm flung across the pillow, his fingers lax, the long bow of his shoulders exposed and vulnerable. He’s probably deeply asleep. He must be, since his frown lines are almost invisible. “Lights to two percent,” Jim says. For reasons he has not yet divulged, Bones doesn’t like to sleep in total darkness. Jim imagines Bones as a small child, afraid of the dark.
But not a coward, he thinks, his smile wavering. He rests his shoulder against the doorframe.
Bones doesn’t know why anyone would want to be with him, or stand up for him. He doesn’t know why Jim would want him, when he can have almost anyone. It isn’t false modesty or anything like that; he really doesn’t get it. And the sheer wrongness of that pierces Jim’s soul, makes him want to howl in frustration.
Bones wears his heart on his sleeve, which makes him a lot braver than Jim in some regards. Yeah, yeah, the famous temper. It’s the only shield he carries, and it’s so fucking battered, it’s amazing more people don’t see right through it.
Bones takes care of people. He takes care of Jim. Even at Jim’s worst - and Bones has witnessed some embarrassingly bad moments over the past year or so - he somehow finds something in him that’s worth believing in. Really believing. Jim knows, despite the harsh words, and the hands and mouth that are sometimes rough. Bones doesn’t just see what’s worthwhile in Jim, he’s passionate about it. Even if it isn’t logical.
And he trusts Bones. Really trusts him. Just thinking about it leaves Jim feeling fragile and raw, like he’s just run a marathon.
He needs Bones. And he’s never needed anyone.
“You’re gonna ace that test tomorrow,” Jim says in a whisper. “Just don’t forget your fucking name. Then you’re coming with me. To the stars.”
It’s the one thing he knows with absolute certainty.
But, just to absolutely safe, he finds a piece of paper and a pen, and writes LEONARD in big blocky letters. He leaves the reminder on Bones's night table, where he'll be sure to see it when he wakes up.
No point in taking chances.
4/28/11