Now I definitely don't write in here very much anymore; however tonight I felt the urge to get my thoughts out there. Maybe once I get it down in writing, I'll feel better about it all
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The ever growing quater-life crisis strikes again! I think that moving is going to delay progress. While change/risk are the starting points to sucess, you also have to decide what it is you want to be doing that will make you happy. Friends make us all happy, and it's a great thing to have there, but personally I feel that if I'm not working on something that is meaningful to me then I'm wasting my time. This is easy for me to say right now, I'm excited about doing software engineering and such, but I think it's always relevant. It's not that you need to know exactly what will make you happy, but wouldn't moving to a different place just move a lot of these problems from Boston to the new city? A year or more ago I had no idea why I was bothering with school. I finally realized that I had to take time, slow down and really, really consider whether I would rather be doing something else. I eventually realized that, no I didn't and in fact I wanted to be doing it more than I was.
"I'm here because it's comfortable. I have friends here, a great apartment with two of them, I know my way around, I have a paying job with benefits and everything is easy, livable."
Who says life can't be comfortable. And the way I read it, you sound like you've got a pretty good setup. Just throwing my two cents in, and I've got lots more if you're interested.
The fact of the matter is, I don't really know what it is that I need to do to be happy. I know that I'm not unhappy with my life as a whole, I think I just feel like there is more potential for me out there. Since the end of my senior year I've been feeling the itch to get out. And so I saw the world - well...western Europe anyway and it was invigorating and it was refreshing and it was something I feel like I can't even describe in words.
And then I came back to Boston - back to the city I've spent the past four (almost five) years in and it was exactly the same. And yes there was a sense of comfort knowing that I could almost pick up where I left off. I decided to postpone my plans to pack up and go to New York. And yes, money was a huge factor...but I think for the most part it was fear too. Fear of moving to a new place, fear of beginning again, fear of failure. So I chose to remain for another year only to now realize that Boston isn't the same city I thought I was returning to at the end of June. In fact, everything had totally changed. Friends changed, locations changed, and most of all I changed. At the same time daily routine and every weekend feels the same.
I was hoping this job would give me another reason to remain here. But the truth is, I don't feel like Boston is where I belong anymore. While my life has already changed so much since college, I'm still just comfortable. I'm still waiting for something new to happen.
This is easy for me to say right now, I'm excited about doing software engineering and such, but I think it's always relevant. It's not that you need to know exactly what will make you happy, but wouldn't moving to a different place just move a lot of these problems from Boston to the new city?
A year or more ago I had no idea why I was bothering with school. I finally realized that I had to take time, slow down and really, really consider whether I would rather be doing something else. I eventually realized that, no I didn't and in fact I wanted to be doing it more than I was.
"I'm here because it's comfortable. I have friends here, a great apartment with two of them, I know my way around, I have a paying job with benefits and everything is easy, livable."
Who says life can't be comfortable. And the way I read it, you sound like you've got a pretty good setup. Just throwing my two cents in, and I've got lots more if you're interested.
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And then I came back to Boston - back to the city I've spent the past four (almost five) years in and it was exactly the same. And yes there was a sense of comfort knowing that I could almost pick up where I left off. I decided to postpone my plans to pack up and go to New York. And yes, money was a huge factor...but I think for the most part it was fear too. Fear of moving to a new place, fear of beginning again, fear of failure. So I chose to remain for another year only to now realize that Boston isn't the same city I thought I was returning to at the end of June. In fact, everything had totally changed. Friends changed, locations changed, and most of all I changed. At the same time daily routine and every weekend feels the same.
I was hoping this job would give me another reason to remain here. But the truth is, I don't feel like Boston is where I belong anymore. While my life has already changed so much since college, I'm still just comfortable. I'm still waiting for something new to happen.
I guess I still just have a lot to figure out...
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