Kaboom baby rub on these nipples
Uhhh ohk ok I am in a crazy mood right now, I am in 2nd period and there is another class in here makin a lot of noise listening to rap music and getting yelled at by our student teacher(he kicks ass though) but yeah uhh i want to write, but i cant with all these people in here being loud and shit. Lauren is in here, that's cool, her computer kept restarting, i felt sorry for her cause i know how bad that sucks cause it has happened to me I dunno how many times, AHHHHHHHHHH
I want to scream
I dont know what to think with this stuff going on with my grandfather, I love him, I am afraid. I am not afraid for him, he is a strong man, I am afraid though, that I will not get to see him again. I am afraid for my father, I am afraid for my grandmother the most. What will become of her? My uncle who they adopted, who is younger than me, is a dick, I wonder how he is taking this, I wonder how he is treating my granny, I wonder if he really appreciates how much they have done for his life. I just want to see him again, to have him put his big arms around me and tell me that I will be something in life. He has always been one to believe in me. When I started to find who i was and started changing, he supported me. He was one of the few of my relatives who accepted me for me from the beginning. He gives me the best advice. I have the most respect for him. Its crazy because when I was younger, and I still lived with him, we weren't close at all, then since he retired, and is home more, when i was in Ohio for those summer, we got real close. He has totally supported me and given me the motivation to be something in life. He believes in me more that I do. He's been through a lot. Last night Mrs. Irene was asking me what was wrong with me, and what was bothering me. I didn't want to tell her, but she persisted and I told her, I told her and I almost started crying right there, Joe Perry was in the lobby I walked away, I wasn't even happy that Joes Perry was standing there, right in front of me, I had no care. Everybody tells me, lets talk about it, tell me what's bothering you, Every time I do that it makes me think about it more, and it makes me cry and it makes me feel bad, I know it is supposed to be good to get those emotions out, but Its hard for me, it is so hard for me, Not many people have ever cared enough about me to ask me sincerely to talk about things like this with them. I feel bad when I tell them I cant talk about it, I feel like they don't think i trust them or something, when I do. I dont know. Emotions are a battle for me. I love Jessica I know that for sure. She is the one who is there for me, always, always there for me. Without here I dont know what I would do. It makes me feel so horrible when she feels bad, when I make her feel bad, I am a smartass, i know i am, i try to keep from saying things, but I say them to be funny, I dont really mean them, I know it makes her feel bad, I am trying to stop doing it now. I love Jessica and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. It hurts me when I hurt her ya know. I feel so bad that I feel like I am not good enoguh for her. I can not lose her, I have to have her, without her, life is nothing, I am nothing, life would be pointless.
Anyways....
woke up this morning, went to take a shower, and my nose started bleeding, like crazy bleeding, it wouldnt stop. it sucked, blood all over the place. weird...
I'm afraid it will do it at school, i hope not.
uhhh Jessica has to work tonight, that means I dont get to see her much, I hope I can for at least a little bit.
ummmmmm
Mrs. Irene asked me if is gay yesterday hehehe...
I want to scream
I dont know what to think with this stuff going on with my grandfather, I love him, I am afraid. I am not afraid for him, he is a strong man, I am afraid though, that I will not get to see him again. I am afraid for my father, I am afraid for my grandmother the most. What will become of her? My uncle who they adopted, who is younger than me, is a dick, I wonder how he is taking this, I wonder how he is treating my granny, I wonder if he really appreciates how much they have done for his life. I just want to see him again, to have him put his big arms around me and tell me that I will be something in life. He has always been one to believe in me. When I started to find who i was and started changing, he supported me. He was one of the few of my relatives who accepted me for me from the beginning. He gives me the best advice. I have the most respect for him. Its crazy because when I was younger, and I still lived with him, we weren't close at all, then since he retired, and is home more, when i was in Ohio for those summer, we got real close. He has totally supported me and given me the motivation to be something in life. He believes in me more that I do. He's been through a lot. Last night Mrs. Irene was asking me what was wrong with me, and what was bothering me. I didn't want to tell her, but she persisted and I told her, I told her and I almost started crying right there, Joe Perry was in the lobby I walked away, I wasn't even happy that Joes Perry was standing there, right in front of me, I had no care. Everybody tells me, lets talk about it, tell me what's bothering you, Every time I do that it makes me think about it more, and it makes me cry and it makes me feel bad, I know it is supposed to be good to get those emotions out, but Its hard for me, it is so hard for me, Not many people have ever cared enough about me to ask me sincerely to talk about things like this with them. I feel bad when I tell them I cant talk about it, I feel like they don't think i trust them or something, when I do. I dont know. Emotions are a battle for me. I love Jessica I know that for sure. She is the one who is there for me, always, always there for me. Without here I dont know what I would do. It makes me feel so horrible when she feels bad, when I make her feel bad, I am a smartass, i know i am, i try to keep from saying things, but I say them to be funny, I dont really mean them, I know it makes her feel bad, I am trying to stop doing it now. I love Jessica and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. It hurts me when I hurt her ya know. I feel so bad that I feel like I am not good enoguh for her. I can not lose her, I have to have her, without her, life is nothing, I am nothing, life would be pointless.
Anyways....
woke up this morning, went to take a shower, and my nose started bleeding, like crazy bleeding, it wouldnt stop. it sucked, blood all over the place. weird...
I'm afraid it will do it at school, i hope not.
uhhh Jessica has to work tonight, that means I dont get to see her much, I hope I can for at least a little bit.
ummmmmm
Mrs. Irene asked me if is gay yesterday hehehe...