Sick Brandon & Anxiety Study
Brandon is still sick. This is the worst i've ever seen him. He's been coughing, and hacking up green stuff for 5 days now. It's awful. We took him to the walk in clinic on Saturday night. We stayed in the car while he went inside, and the kids drove me crazy. Thankfully it wasn't that long (an hour maybe), and we were on our way to find a pharmacy that was still open.
We ended up driving from East Orlando (where the doctor was), home to go to the publix by our house. But, the Publix pharmacy wasn't open, so we drove around trying to find a 24 hour pharmacy. We ended up downtown at the Walgreens on Michigan, only to find out that the wait time was 2 hours. We gave up and went to McDonalds, where we saw that there was a CVS across the way. We didn't even realize that CVS was 24 hours. We got the prescription filled there (paid $20 for something that would have been free at Publix), and 30 min. later we were on our way home.
By the time we got home, it was late, we were cranky and we just wanted to sleep. it was a frustrating night for everyone and we didn't want to be up anymore.
The next morning Brandon got up with the kids and let me sleep in, as i was starting to feel crappy. I set my alarm to wake me up at 10:30, but i set it to PM instead of AM. So i woke up 10 min. before i was supposed to leave for the Anxiety Study. I didn't have time to do anything so i quickly dressed and hoped no one would laugh at my dirty hair.
I got to the study on time, and thankfully i knew where i was going. It was at the same clinic that i did all my other therapy in. I didn't tell them i had done therapy there though because i didn't want to be disqualified. So i just pretended like i hadn't ever been there.
It was just me and the counselor. The first half of the study, he asked questions about my anxiety, and i was able to answer everything since i had already been through therapy and knew exactly what was going on with me. Then i found out i had to do stuff to show my problem solving and memory skills. I started to get anxious and stressed out because i know i'm not good at this stuff.
There were several little tests for my memory. He showed me several scenes in a book, of a family sitting at the park doing stuff, and then at a table eating dinner, then at a store, and then another one in the back yard. I was supposed to study the pictures for a min. and try to remember everything about them. Well i didn't realize i had to remember the whereabouts of the characters, and the difference scenes. Instead i remembered the objects that were in there, but i couldn't remember where they were placed. i did very badly on that one.
Then he read aloud a list of words and i had to try to remember them and repeat them. The first time i remembered a couple of words. He repeated it 4 times and at the end i was able to remember most of them. Then he read a list of new words and i had to remember those words and not the ones from the other list. That was hard, but i got a couple of them. Then he told me to remember them because i was going to have to tell him again in a bit. (ugh)
Then came the blocks. They were white and red with half triangles on them. I had to make a picture out of them, to make it look exactly like the picture in the book. The first 2 were easy, and then i got another one that was really difficult for me. I got very flustered and had to take a break. I was stressed and anxious and not having a good time. I went to the bathroom and tried to reassure myself. I just kept telling myself that it doesn't matter if i can't do it, it doesn't make me stupid does it? No. I went back and tried 2 more pictures and didn't get them. I felt frustrated with myself.
The next test was for memory and motor skills. He said aloud a letter and a number, and i had to repeat it back to him in numerical and alphabetical order. So, he would say 3 t 5 f, and i would say 3 5 f t. We did several of these and it wasn't as difficult, until it would get to 10 numbers/letters. THen i was getting confused. Then he had me do the same thing, but it was just numbers i had to repeat. Again i didn't have a problem until i had to repeat 10 or more numbers. Then he changed it so i had to say it in the reverse. That was really hard for me to get and i didn't do very well after that.
The next one was a block system. It was like that Simon game i used to play when i was a kid. He would touch the blocks in a certain order, and then i had to do it the same way. It was easy at first, and then it got harder when he touched several in a sequence. It was hard for me to focus and i got confused easliy. Then i had to do it in the reverse. Oh yes that was fun. (not).
My brain hurt afterwards. i told him so, and he said that was the point.
I had to draw a picture that was mostly lines and x's, and kind of looked like an airplane. About every 20 sec. or so, he would give me another colored pencil to use, so by the time my drawing was done, i had 8 different colors on there. I don't know what that test was for.
After it was all done i asked him what the tests were for. He said that studies have shown that people with anxiety have a harder time doing problem solving and if they can prove that, then they will be able to work on that in the future, so that they can help treat it better. It makes sense. I told him that i was stressed out and anxious while i was doing it and he said that was normal. He said that he usually works in a neurological center, and he's had several people throw the blocks at him because they were stressed out about it. Oh good, im not the only one that was super stressed about them.
I was at the clinic for 2 hours, so i made $40. Which was awesome.
Doing all these tests makes me want to do another IQ test. I did one when we lived in CO, but it was an online test. Brandon says that they usually score you higher than you really are. Which now makes me feel like crap, because I always took that score and thought it meant something. Now i wonder how 'smart' i really am. It actually makes me feel pretty stupid. (thanks alot Brandon).
So anyway, i need to take another one and see where i rate. Because after those tests yesterday, i'm feeling really stupid. and that sucks.
We ended up driving from East Orlando (where the doctor was), home to go to the publix by our house. But, the Publix pharmacy wasn't open, so we drove around trying to find a 24 hour pharmacy. We ended up downtown at the Walgreens on Michigan, only to find out that the wait time was 2 hours. We gave up and went to McDonalds, where we saw that there was a CVS across the way. We didn't even realize that CVS was 24 hours. We got the prescription filled there (paid $20 for something that would have been free at Publix), and 30 min. later we were on our way home.
By the time we got home, it was late, we were cranky and we just wanted to sleep. it was a frustrating night for everyone and we didn't want to be up anymore.
The next morning Brandon got up with the kids and let me sleep in, as i was starting to feel crappy. I set my alarm to wake me up at 10:30, but i set it to PM instead of AM. So i woke up 10 min. before i was supposed to leave for the Anxiety Study. I didn't have time to do anything so i quickly dressed and hoped no one would laugh at my dirty hair.
I got to the study on time, and thankfully i knew where i was going. It was at the same clinic that i did all my other therapy in. I didn't tell them i had done therapy there though because i didn't want to be disqualified. So i just pretended like i hadn't ever been there.
It was just me and the counselor. The first half of the study, he asked questions about my anxiety, and i was able to answer everything since i had already been through therapy and knew exactly what was going on with me. Then i found out i had to do stuff to show my problem solving and memory skills. I started to get anxious and stressed out because i know i'm not good at this stuff.
There were several little tests for my memory. He showed me several scenes in a book, of a family sitting at the park doing stuff, and then at a table eating dinner, then at a store, and then another one in the back yard. I was supposed to study the pictures for a min. and try to remember everything about them. Well i didn't realize i had to remember the whereabouts of the characters, and the difference scenes. Instead i remembered the objects that were in there, but i couldn't remember where they were placed. i did very badly on that one.
Then he read aloud a list of words and i had to try to remember them and repeat them. The first time i remembered a couple of words. He repeated it 4 times and at the end i was able to remember most of them. Then he read a list of new words and i had to remember those words and not the ones from the other list. That was hard, but i got a couple of them. Then he told me to remember them because i was going to have to tell him again in a bit. (ugh)
Then came the blocks. They were white and red with half triangles on them. I had to make a picture out of them, to make it look exactly like the picture in the book. The first 2 were easy, and then i got another one that was really difficult for me. I got very flustered and had to take a break. I was stressed and anxious and not having a good time. I went to the bathroom and tried to reassure myself. I just kept telling myself that it doesn't matter if i can't do it, it doesn't make me stupid does it? No. I went back and tried 2 more pictures and didn't get them. I felt frustrated with myself.
The next test was for memory and motor skills. He said aloud a letter and a number, and i had to repeat it back to him in numerical and alphabetical order. So, he would say 3 t 5 f, and i would say 3 5 f t. We did several of these and it wasn't as difficult, until it would get to 10 numbers/letters. THen i was getting confused. Then he had me do the same thing, but it was just numbers i had to repeat. Again i didn't have a problem until i had to repeat 10 or more numbers. Then he changed it so i had to say it in the reverse. That was really hard for me to get and i didn't do very well after that.
The next one was a block system. It was like that Simon game i used to play when i was a kid. He would touch the blocks in a certain order, and then i had to do it the same way. It was easy at first, and then it got harder when he touched several in a sequence. It was hard for me to focus and i got confused easliy. Then i had to do it in the reverse. Oh yes that was fun. (not).
My brain hurt afterwards. i told him so, and he said that was the point.
I had to draw a picture that was mostly lines and x's, and kind of looked like an airplane. About every 20 sec. or so, he would give me another colored pencil to use, so by the time my drawing was done, i had 8 different colors on there. I don't know what that test was for.
After it was all done i asked him what the tests were for. He said that studies have shown that people with anxiety have a harder time doing problem solving and if they can prove that, then they will be able to work on that in the future, so that they can help treat it better. It makes sense. I told him that i was stressed out and anxious while i was doing it and he said that was normal. He said that he usually works in a neurological center, and he's had several people throw the blocks at him because they were stressed out about it. Oh good, im not the only one that was super stressed about them.
I was at the clinic for 2 hours, so i made $40. Which was awesome.
Doing all these tests makes me want to do another IQ test. I did one when we lived in CO, but it was an online test. Brandon says that they usually score you higher than you really are. Which now makes me feel like crap, because I always took that score and thought it meant something. Now i wonder how 'smart' i really am. It actually makes me feel pretty stupid. (thanks alot Brandon).
So anyway, i need to take another one and see where i rate. Because after those tests yesterday, i'm feeling really stupid. and that sucks.