(no subject)
Summer is officially here. It's fucking hot in this mother fucker.
I'm poor as shit, it's really unfortunate. Thank goodness I have a set job though, otherwise, well, I don't know what the hell I'd do.
Jay-Marie left last night to go to South Africa for two weeks. Sadness. I miss Stanford a lot, the most I've ever missed it in these past three years. To be honest, I'm pretty disappointed with myself and my academic performance at Stanford. I know I needed this year for a lot of things - to grow independently, to meet new people, to find my (social) place at Stanford - but I feel like I know I put these things above my classes and grades. There's nothing wrong with that though; I've always put my friends before most other things, but I was able to do that because I still did fairly well in my classes. This year, I got a B- in a class that I had an A in before the final. Who does that? I withdrew from a class- that's a permanent W on my record - because I didn't go to it. Argh. So disappointing. I need to step up my game this upcoming year. Seriously. It's frustrating getting B's in my major, because I know I put out A quality material for classes that are not Econ. So...it makes me think. Did I make the right choice? I'm not sure I did. I feel like I fucked up many times over, in class choice, in major choice, in life choices. Ugh.
I just want to know that these four years weren't a waste of money. I know it wasn't a waste of time because I have learned so much. But I need to know that my dad didn't make a bad investment in me. I can't help but feel like I'm letting him down though.
I'm just....fucking frustrated with myself. I suck and I really fucked up. Really really.
I'm poor as shit, it's really unfortunate. Thank goodness I have a set job though, otherwise, well, I don't know what the hell I'd do.
Jay-Marie left last night to go to South Africa for two weeks. Sadness. I miss Stanford a lot, the most I've ever missed it in these past three years. To be honest, I'm pretty disappointed with myself and my academic performance at Stanford. I know I needed this year for a lot of things - to grow independently, to meet new people, to find my (social) place at Stanford - but I feel like I know I put these things above my classes and grades. There's nothing wrong with that though; I've always put my friends before most other things, but I was able to do that because I still did fairly well in my classes. This year, I got a B- in a class that I had an A in before the final. Who does that? I withdrew from a class- that's a permanent W on my record - because I didn't go to it. Argh. So disappointing. I need to step up my game this upcoming year. Seriously. It's frustrating getting B's in my major, because I know I put out A quality material for classes that are not Econ. So...it makes me think. Did I make the right choice? I'm not sure I did. I feel like I fucked up many times over, in class choice, in major choice, in life choices. Ugh.
I just want to know that these four years weren't a waste of money. I know it wasn't a waste of time because I have learned so much. But I need to know that my dad didn't make a bad investment in me. I can't help but feel like I'm letting him down though.
I'm just....fucking frustrated with myself. I suck and I really fucked up. Really really.