honey you should know, that i could never go on without you.
155.5 lbs.
I really want this.
92 lbs is the perfect weight, I know I can get there by at least my birthday.
(January 4th)
I want to be 120 by 8/10, and I have 4 weeks left.
This week, I've lost 3.5 lbs. I have 4 days left of the week to lose more weight, and
I am DETERMINED TO DO SO;
I will be thin.
the difference between want and need is self-control.
Two of my best friends were talking about my recent obsession with food, and then the girl comes up to me and confronts me about it. Of all the nerve... Her fake sympathy disgusts me.
"I do the same thing, I'm just more discreet about it."
WHAT I WANTED TO SAY: yeah, you "starve" yourself (one meal maybe, sometimes) because "after you eat, there is a pudge in your stomach" because working out is too much work and you don't drink water becase you don't like the taste and all you eat is fatfattening foods. you are naturally thin so be fucking happy, don't even try to compare yourself with me. That is not starving.
INSTEAD I SAID: "oh, well, I have nothing to hide, really."
She was almost just screaming LET'S COMPARE INSECURITIES <3
No, she doesn't want this.
no woman can be too thin for me; the thinner she is, the more she is a goddess in my eyes.
Yesterday, I was telling my friend about a girl who ate the world's biggest burger was 115 lbs and said that I thought she would die. (Seriously, it's thousands of calories, and I myself would NEVER eat it.)
My friend tells me:
"well, obviously she's doing something right, I mean, she's the one who is 115 lbs."
Please. =/ 92 lbs is the perfect weight. I may be far from my goal, but everyone that doesn't think I can make it (which is EVERYONE), they'll be sorry. THIS MAKES ME A BAD PERSON but I want to be the prettiest out of all my friends. Personally, despite my arrogance, I think I have a decent personality, a decent face, just a terrible body. I want to be thinnest. I want to laugh at all my friends and say I AM THINNER THAN YOU I HAVE BEAT FATNESS YOU YOU ARE STUCK YOU ARE NOTHING
Because that's how I feel.
like nothing.
I need to conquer this feeling, completely.
I'm doing the 3weeksdiet, seriously, trying my best.
I'm on my 3rd day and all I've had is water and diet drinks and orange juice.
I read this over and I sound like such a bitch.
I don't know...
I'm just saying the things I'd never admit in real life.
ana, just teach me not to need.