Why the USA is NOT the greatest country in the world!
Yes, yes, state of the union was yesterday, seeing heavy-handedness followed by lies, yadda yadda yadda, warra warra warra. Talk about that crap amongst yourselves and leave me out of it. No, for me the proof was this morning (for the umpteenth time).
Something I ate sent me rushing off to the loo (toilet /lavatory/ bathroom /men's room /little boy's room /bog /shit-house /rest-room /etbloodycetera). In a building where most employees are women I found a bathroom that few other guys use, and enjoy the fact that there are five stalls (one with a urinal) and yet rarely anyone else there at the same time as me.
Not today though; today I had to endure trauma. The head of the division I serve charged into the stall next to me. Why the hell next to me? There are five bloody stalls to chose from; why choose to cuddle-up to me? Thanks so much for treating me to all those sound affects boss, and I hope that diarrhea gets better and all and that you didn't pull a muscle or anything, but give me some damned space please. I don't want to have to rush my arse (literally) just to get the hell out of there before your odors begin to make me gag.
And this is why the US is surely nowhere near to being great. A great country would not leave more than a foot-high gap at the bottom of cheap-ass "walls" so that I can see my boss's id badge hanging from his belt on his pants around his ankles, and his (unlike mine) polished shoes. Being six-foot, I could even peek over the top of the stall if I wanted to... if I could bear the earthy stink. These weaknesses, along with the appalling gaps between panels and doors that allow anyone to peek in at you, are clinchers I'm afraid.
No, I'm sorry, any country that can't give me a little privacy while taking a dump, that inflicts the sound effects and smells of others onto me, that forces me to listen to strange sound-effect-infused cell phone conversations, that has people in the stall next to me who want to chat to me and tell me about how badly that Mexican food is affecting them, and so on, cannot possibly be the greatest country in the world. It's just not possible -- it's a bunch of crap.
I think it's time for a different movement (yes, the frigging pun was intended) in this country: cheaper is NOT better! Let's get some real walls, real doors and real privacy into the bloody bathrooms. That way, as an added bonus, people can have sex in the stalls like they do back in South Africa -- and how can you be "the greatest country in the world" if people can't do that?
Something I ate sent me rushing off to the loo (toilet /lavatory/ bathroom /men's room /little boy's room /bog /shit-house /rest-room /etbloodycetera). In a building where most employees are women I found a bathroom that few other guys use, and enjoy the fact that there are five stalls (one with a urinal) and yet rarely anyone else there at the same time as me.
Not today though; today I had to endure trauma. The head of the division I serve charged into the stall next to me. Why the hell next to me? There are five bloody stalls to chose from; why choose to cuddle-up to me? Thanks so much for treating me to all those sound affects boss, and I hope that diarrhea gets better and all and that you didn't pull a muscle or anything, but give me some damned space please. I don't want to have to rush my arse (literally) just to get the hell out of there before your odors begin to make me gag.
And this is why the US is surely nowhere near to being great. A great country would not leave more than a foot-high gap at the bottom of cheap-ass "walls" so that I can see my boss's id badge hanging from his belt on his pants around his ankles, and his (unlike mine) polished shoes. Being six-foot, I could even peek over the top of the stall if I wanted to... if I could bear the earthy stink. These weaknesses, along with the appalling gaps between panels and doors that allow anyone to peek in at you, are clinchers I'm afraid.
No, I'm sorry, any country that can't give me a little privacy while taking a dump, that inflicts the sound effects and smells of others onto me, that forces me to listen to strange sound-effect-infused cell phone conversations, that has people in the stall next to me who want to chat to me and tell me about how badly that Mexican food is affecting them, and so on, cannot possibly be the greatest country in the world. It's just not possible -- it's a bunch of crap.
I think it's time for a different movement (yes, the frigging pun was intended) in this country: cheaper is NOT better! Let's get some real walls, real doors and real privacy into the bloody bathrooms. That way, as an added bonus, people can have sex in the stalls like they do back in South Africa -- and how can you be "the greatest country in the world" if people can't do that?