I won't give you the pleasure of having a "title."
I’ve been pushed to the edge, I know that now. Don’t worry, I’m not suicidal, but this Bells Palsy has driven me to (and up) the fuckin wall. I haven’t seen much improvement since its inception in early February, and my attitude has been on a slide ever since. I’ve limited my social contact to those that understand who I really am, although I’m sure their patience with me is starting to wear pretty thin.
Tool has helped some, it’s the only band that can possibly match the madness running through my brain right now. Smoking marijuana definitely helps, but being moderately stoned most of the time isn’t a smart solution. I figure I just go with this “fuck the world” attitude and let the dice fall where they may. I’ve been put in this situation for a reason, and I don’t think using drugs to “feel better” is the answer. Maybe it’s a way to help me decide who my “friends” are…because anyone that stays with me during this is worth at least a second look.
What really gets me is my sex drive is GONE at this point, which makes sense, actually. Dealing with people - let alone women - isn’t an activity that I wish to participate in right now. It doesn’t help that all I deal with at work are stupid and apathetic idiots every fuckin day, either.
What’s really surreal about all this, is I can see myself behaving like this and choose to do nothing about it…well, fuck it, if it really was important, I would’ve done something by now…
Tool has helped some, it’s the only band that can possibly match the madness running through my brain right now. Smoking marijuana definitely helps, but being moderately stoned most of the time isn’t a smart solution. I figure I just go with this “fuck the world” attitude and let the dice fall where they may. I’ve been put in this situation for a reason, and I don’t think using drugs to “feel better” is the answer. Maybe it’s a way to help me decide who my “friends” are…because anyone that stays with me during this is worth at least a second look.
What really gets me is my sex drive is GONE at this point, which makes sense, actually. Dealing with people - let alone women - isn’t an activity that I wish to participate in right now. It doesn’t help that all I deal with at work are stupid and apathetic idiots every fuckin day, either.
What’s really surreal about all this, is I can see myself behaving like this and choose to do nothing about it…well, fuck it, if it really was important, I would’ve done something by now…