SEE? I CAN DO IT!!
I'm proud because i proved to myself i do have some self-control as long as i have good motivation. I do believe that i have the absolute best motivation right now to actually make sure i don't do anything stupid to myself.
I really hope this depression and pissy mood will go away soon. Sometimes i wish i could just die and my daughter could go with me and we could still grow together and i can watch her in Heaven and not have to see her ever hurt or go through any of this stupid crap. But it's inevitable, she's gonna be born and get hurt sometimes and i'm still going to want to die.
I offer you this in advance: I am so sorry that I've already screwed you up. I really really thought I was doing the right thing and I'm still going to take care of you and we're going to have so much fun. Yet, you're still going to have to go through the same shit i went through, yes, the stuff i should have done everything i had in me to shelter you from. People are going to leave you, people aren't going to care about you. It's ok, though, i promise, you will NEVER have to worry about me not caring or not loving or not being there. NO one comes first, NO ONE. I won't do to you what they did to me. I promise.
I really hope this depression and pissy mood will go away soon. Sometimes i wish i could just die and my daughter could go with me and we could still grow together and i can watch her in Heaven and not have to see her ever hurt or go through any of this stupid crap. But it's inevitable, she's gonna be born and get hurt sometimes and i'm still going to want to die.
I offer you this in advance: I am so sorry that I've already screwed you up. I really really thought I was doing the right thing and I'm still going to take care of you and we're going to have so much fun. Yet, you're still going to have to go through the same shit i went through, yes, the stuff i should have done everything i had in me to shelter you from. People are going to leave you, people aren't going to care about you. It's ok, though, i promise, you will NEVER have to worry about me not caring or not loving or not being there. NO one comes first, NO ONE. I won't do to you what they did to me. I promise.