I find it kinda funny i find it kinda sad, the dreams in which im dieing are the best ive ever had!!
this is the only "public" entry and the last journal entry visible entry to ne1 for awhile or maybe even at all. i think i may be done with alot of things. i thought typing up the way i felt and all that other shit that people may start to understand me better since i dont talk about the way i feel but the only thing that that has done is cause more problems. i have alot of shit on my mind and i dont know hwo to deal with it. alot of things that i WANT to say to people, and then there are things that i HAVE to say to people. The only problem with that is that i dont want to say some of the things, and the things that i do want to tell people, its just not as easy as just coming out adn saying them. like someone said to me tonight, im nothing but drama. everything that has to do with me is drama. ive been told that on more then one occasion so i guess i will just go back to not saying ne thing to ne1. i dont know anymore if im happier now that i have "friends" or if i was happier alone. either way i feel alone. i say i have friends, and peopel say that they care, but i just dont know anymore. the only reason people really call me ne more is to buy them cigarette's or if i can hook them up with other shit. nobody asks me to do ne thing ne more, or to hang out or ne thing like that.they just call me for shit. that is with the exception of like 3 or 4 people.