(no subject)
Staying home today. Most of us who worked on the play are. I mean, I know I didn't do the intense physical work the actors had to do, but, well, fuck, I'm not feeling so hot. Woke up, rolled over, when my mom dragged me out of bed at 7:14 (did I mention we're supposed to leave at seven and be there at seven-thirty?) I just started crying and seriously begged her to let me stay home.
The deal is I have to clean my room and can't be online after 11PM. I can deal with that, though I wonder if most people have to make deals in order to stay home sick from school.
I don't understand what it is I've made myself into. I can't tell if I'm insensitive or sensitive, callous or insecure, cold or kind. The second I think I'm one, the other one comes out, yes, I suppose that means I'm both, but it doesn't help that everyone keeps telling me I'm one or the other and that I'm ridiculous for saying that I'm the other.
I don't trust my reality anymore, because people keep telling me I'm wrong. I don't know if what I'm hearing or seeing is right, or if what I'm saying is coming across the way I'm meaning it to (or even how I'm meaning it to come across, sometimes), et cetera.
I should go clean my room or something.
The deal is I have to clean my room and can't be online after 11PM. I can deal with that, though I wonder if most people have to make deals in order to stay home sick from school.
I don't understand what it is I've made myself into. I can't tell if I'm insensitive or sensitive, callous or insecure, cold or kind. The second I think I'm one, the other one comes out, yes, I suppose that means I'm both, but it doesn't help that everyone keeps telling me I'm one or the other and that I'm ridiculous for saying that I'm the other.
I don't trust my reality anymore, because people keep telling me I'm wrong. I don't know if what I'm hearing or seeing is right, or if what I'm saying is coming across the way I'm meaning it to (or even how I'm meaning it to come across, sometimes), et cetera.
I should go clean my room or something.