(no subject)

[thin_as_edie]

I need to keep focused
I know that
if I lose it now I won't lose ha ha god I'm funny
this must end soon it must
the body can not go on sustaining itself for long under these circumstances
and I've jolted it as much as I can
so why are the scales not moving
I ate over 1600 calories for 4 days
then dropped to below 300 and exercised like a mad woman burning off more than twice that
it has to show
I've done the maths I'm not stupid
.....but maybe my body is

I don't know who to ask I can't go to the doctor its obvious what they'll say about my eating
maybe it will show tomorrow
maybe its muscle???
I don't know
I just don't know

I even suck at my eating disorder
how ironic