Of Negativity and New Toys
I've been accused pretty often of being a negative person. At one point I believed it but not so much now. As I've grown older, more introspective, I have a much better understanding of the person that I am and I recognize I may be critical to a fault but it's not the same thing as negative. I probably analyze things too damn much but I'm trained to be a software engineer...so it's just how I'm built. It does cause a bit of friction between Mrs. thez0rk and I sometimes, though. We were Christmas shopping over the weekend and I mentioned a particular relative that I perceived as having problems with us. She disagreed, told me that I'm horribly negative and that I just assume that everybody I know dislikes me. I just pointed out that I notice a certain trend of behavior from this person when we're around...and it could certainly be attributed to any other number of problems...but it seemed to be more than a coincidence. Of course, there was no resolution to the situation, we just traded our typical round of playful barbs and then returned to finding a present for her mother.
There's a specific reason I bring this up. Reading through my old LJ posts yesterday was VERY revealing for me. I didn't quite know the person anymore that wrote them...but I saw that while he was very confused and lost he was full of hope...in situations that were shit and probably didn't deserve much in the way of hope. Looking back on some of the scenarios that I was TRYING SO HARD to be positive about...I can't understand how I could muster such an attitude. However, I always tried, always kept forging ahead, no matter the situation. I think that's a testament to the man I am, my character, etc. I'm not a negative person...a negative person wouldn't be so full of hope.
Okay, so, on to lighter stuff. The Mrs. and I came into a little extra cash last night. I suggested dropping half into savings and then blowing the other half recklessly. She's not the money spend I am, so she just let me have my share so I went and nabbed myself a new monitor. The Samsung 2232BW to be specific. I was going to attempt to get it on clearance at CompUSA (who are going out of business) but nobody in the store could be bothered to help me. Huh...what a shocker...a company with SUCH a great reputation for quality customer service going out of business. Anyway, we went over to Best Buy and after some internal debate, I decided to get it. So far I'm very happy with the purchase. It's fucking huge, very bright and has vivid colors. I need to do some tweaking to get the most out of it but I'm pretty hyped. I'm selling off some old computer parts to scrape up enough cash to grab another video card so I can go SLI with computer.
Life is good, folks! :-D
There's a specific reason I bring this up. Reading through my old LJ posts yesterday was VERY revealing for me. I didn't quite know the person anymore that wrote them...but I saw that while he was very confused and lost he was full of hope...in situations that were shit and probably didn't deserve much in the way of hope. Looking back on some of the scenarios that I was TRYING SO HARD to be positive about...I can't understand how I could muster such an attitude. However, I always tried, always kept forging ahead, no matter the situation. I think that's a testament to the man I am, my character, etc. I'm not a negative person...a negative person wouldn't be so full of hope.
Okay, so, on to lighter stuff. The Mrs. and I came into a little extra cash last night. I suggested dropping half into savings and then blowing the other half recklessly. She's not the money spend I am, so she just let me have my share so I went and nabbed myself a new monitor. The Samsung 2232BW to be specific. I was going to attempt to get it on clearance at CompUSA (who are going out of business) but nobody in the store could be bothered to help me. Huh...what a shocker...a company with SUCH a great reputation for quality customer service going out of business. Anyway, we went over to Best Buy and after some internal debate, I decided to get it. So far I'm very happy with the purchase. It's fucking huge, very bright and has vivid colors. I need to do some tweaking to get the most out of it but I'm pretty hyped. I'm selling off some old computer parts to scrape up enough cash to grab another video card so I can go SLI with computer.
Life is good, folks! :-D