Two Roads Diverged : Chapter 8
Title: Two Roads Diverged (8/10)
Author: icedteainthebag
Word Count: 34,420
Rating: MA
Pairings: John Cavil/Ellen Tigh, Ellen Tigh/Saul Tigh, Laura Roslin/Bill Adama
Warnings: Dubcon, graphic physical violence, graphic sex
Summary: Sometimes we make mistakes when we think we're doing the right thing.
Notes: See Chapter One, but I’ll restate it here: meryl_edan, larsfarm77, tjonesy, dashakay and somadanne... you all played an integral part in this section. Thank you for helping me.
Artist: MrsDrJackson
Link to Art: banner can be found here.
x x x x
175th Day of the Cylon Occupation of New Caprica
I can feel the tension building in the air like we're on the verge of something significant. Everything has been too quiet. Colonel Tigh has been released and there is little he'd like more than revenge upon those who tried to take away his dignity. Though I understand his anger, I'm concerned about his methods. Desperation can drive men beyond their moral compasses, can make the inexcusable seem justifiable.
I'm angry at those who have joined the New Caprica Police. There is no good that can come of the unification of Cylon and human. I wonder how it feels to wear their uniform, to take their orders, to turn against your own people under the guise of peace and justice.
There will be a day when they ask themselves if it was worth it after all.
"These are the surveillance pictures taken by the insurgents," Tory said, tossing photos onto two separate piles. Laura looked up from her journal. "I think we can match names to about fifty of these photos. But our best guess puts the total police force at around two hundred."
Two hundred traitors.
"Two hundred. I wouldn't have believed there'd be twenty people who would turn against their own kind. I want those names. I want the rest of the names."
I want to know every last one of them.
"It's tough. The Cylons are afraid the population will go after any human who joins the New Caprica Police."
"As well they should."
Laura ignored Tory's questioning look and pushed back from the table. "I'm headed back to the tent. Please let me know if you find out anything else."
Tory nodded as Laura slid on her coat and tucked her journal into it. "All right."
Laura left the tent, the cold wind momentarily taking her breath away. She inhaled the frigid air and began the walk to her tent.
She hadn't heard from Ellen in days, not since they'd shared drinks and a cot and probably too many intimate details about their lives. She'd heard from Chief that Saul had been released. He'd given her some of the more grim details about the state of the Colonel's condition. At least he's alive, Chief had said, and she'd agreed with him.
I don't know what Bill would do without him. When Bill comes back.
She knew Ellen was probably busy alternately attending to Saul's needs and celebrating his return. She didn't blame her for that. She'd be doing the same thing.
Laura pulled up her collar, her cheeks stinging from the cold. It was going to be a hard winter alone.
x x x x
Ellen was sitting at the table in their tent when she heard the explosion. It startled her out of a daydream, something about rolling hills with green grass upon them, the wind tousling her hair.
It was loud. It was terrifying. She'd heard explosions in the camp before, but this was different. Something horrible had happened.
She wondered whether Saul was the cause or the victim.
x x x x
The command came in a hushed tone in the early morning hours, interrupting Laura's dreams, so much so that when she opened her eyes to bright flashlights in her face, she couldn't figure out if she was still sleeping.
"Get up," she heard someone demand, a male voice, fairly young. She squinted in the bright light and shielded her face with her arm. "Don't make a sound."
Her heartbeat pounded in her ears.
It's all a dream...it has to be a dream.
x x x x
Ellen was out of breath from running through the camp. She'd run from the schoolhouse until she reached her tent and yanked the flap open. Saul was sitting at their table, bent over a steaming cup.
"Laura," she panted. "She's gone."
Saul turned to look at her. "Whaddya mean she's gone?"
"I went…" Ellen breathed deeply, trying to calm the twisting in her gut and catch her breath. "I went to the school to talk to her and they said she didn't show up this morning, that they sent someone over to her tent and couldn't find her. I went there myself. She's gone, and she didn't take anything with her, Saul. You know what's happened-"
"Now hold on a second, godsdamn it," he said harshly.
Just frakkin' listen to me for once.
"They took her, Saul," Ellen said, tears slipping down her cheeks. "They took her, I'm sure of it."
Godsdamn it, Laura, why weren't you more careful?
x x x x
The walk to the detention center was silent and dark. The officers let Laura walk the path in front of them, the dirt tightly packed under her feet.
Nobody's awake. Soon the sun will rise, and people will wake up, and someone will notice I'm gone.
Laura's mind was racing. She knew it was a mode of distraction and accepted it as such, thinking about the schoolchildren gathering, about Maya and Isis arriving at the tent to find her absent. She wondered what they would think when they found her tent empty-she hated that idea, of someone discovering she had been taken. She didn't want to worry anyone, didn't need anyone worrying about her.
I can take care of myself.
They arrived at the front of the building and the iron gates squeaked in the silence; she'd never noticed that sound before.
Laura began to feel the first inklings of panic when they entered the detention center, though she tried not to show it. She walked the long hallway, listening intently for some signs of life, but heard none. Somehow, this quiet was infinitely more harrowing than the silence outside.
The guard standing watch inside the small, cement-walled cell to which she was led wore the same black mask as all the others.
New Caprica Police, those sons of bitches.
She couldn't see his eyes, but she could feel them following her as she entered the room and stood still. There was a gray jumpsuit folded neatly in the middle of the floor.
"We need your clothes."
She glanced at him questioningly and looked back down at the pile of clothing.
The frak you do.
"Either you take them off, or I'll-"
"I've got it," she interrupted. She hoped he could hear the warning in her voice and not the uncertainty.
He shifted his weight on his feet and watched her. She felt her stomach churn.
Her mouth was dry as she turned her back and pulled her shirt up over her head, exposing her back to the chill of the air and his prying eyes.
She bent down and picked up the jumpsuit.
"All of your clothes," he said sharply.
She started to turn to him, but stopped herself with a deep breath.
She reached behind her back and unfastened her bra, her throat constricting. She let it slip to the floor as goose bumps spread across her skin.
"Never thought I'd get to see the President naked."
x x x x
"Why were you looking for Laura Roslin?" Saul asked, interrupting Ellen's chaotic stream of thoughts. She wiped the tears off of her cheeks.
I need to calm the frak down.
Saul stood up and walked over to her. She looked at her feet, then back up at him.
I don't know why I was looking for Laura Roslin. I just was.
Ellen felt her stomach flutter at the inquisitive look in his eyes. "Why shouldn't I be?"
"Last I knew you two weren't on the best of terms." Saul ran his hand down her bare arm and entwined their fingers.
He's trying to comfort you. You don't deserve to be comforted.
Ellen pulled her hand away and folded her arms across her stomach.
"When you were in detention, we figured out we had something in common," she said, her voice wavering.
"Like what?"
"Isolation. Separation. Pain."
Saul let out a low laugh. "So you bonded with Laura frakkin' Roslin over how shitty this godsforsaken hellhole is."
Ellen glared at him, taking a deep breath. He really had no idea what she'd gone through when he was in there, no idea what Laura was going through with Bill, wherever he was, maybe dead for all they knew. His expression softened when he saw her glare. "About the condition of our lives, yes. Saul, you were gone. Bill is gone. We really didn't have anyone else to turn to who would understand what we were going through."
Alone. We were alone.
x x x x
The last things the guard took were her shoes and her glasses. She couldn't look him in the face. She merely closed her eyes as his hand brushed hers in exchange.
She could see outlines and vague details of her surroundings as she was guided to another cell.
The click of the door lock startled her, then made her only more frustrated.
She began to pace, the floor hard and cold under the soles of her feet. She looked at the small windows and back at the door, wringing her hands together, over and over.
There must be some way out of here.
x x x x
"I'm sorry," Saul said, his voice gruff. Ellen regretted unleashing her frustration on him. She needed him to listen, maybe even understand, in the most generic of terms, what had happened to her while everything was happening to him.
Ellen pulled him close, kissing his forehead. "Saul, what could you possibly have to be sorry about?"
"That I wasn't here for you."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. "You were locked up. You were being tortured. I think that's a fair enough excuse for not being as attentive to your woman as usual."
He didn't laugh. She kissed his neck and rested her head against him. Her forehead brushed his beard, something she still hadn't gotten used to since he was released. He wore it like a badge, like it told the story of what he'd been through.
You can't break down, Saul. I need you to stay strong, as selfish as that may be.
"I haven't been here for you," he said. "Ever since I got out, I've been puttin' myself right back into the fray. We set off a bomb at the NCP graduation ceremony yesterday. They could come after me again if they wanted to."
Oh, gods. I don't want to think about it.
"But you're here now," she said, nuzzling him. "And I'm still really needy."
She felt his chuckle and she smiled against his skin.
x x x x
Laura had given up pacing-really, she'd worn herself out-and finally had sat on the floor, the cold of the cement chilling her body. It was an agonizing wait for daylight to come.
Daybreak brought the muted sound of someone's prayer that echoed down the hallway. It was monotonous and slightly calming until a distant, sharp scream overpowered it.
Stay calm.
The door creaked open, startling her. She glanced up to see one of the Cavils walking into the room.
Those motherfrakking Cavils.
She drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
"Welcome," he said, his smile broad. He made a gesture to the room. "I hope you've found the amenities to your liking so far."
She stared at him. "Do you have an airlock here?"
His laughter was contrived as he stepped closer to her.
"I see your humor is just as dry as mine. A little unsatisfied with your current condition, Laura?" he asked. "Nobody likes it here. If they did, what would be the point?"
She bit her tongue. She wouldn't give him the pleasure of a response.
"You do realize," he said, "that this is the cell we held your friend Colonel Tigh in. And actually…" He cringed. "I think you're sitting right where I stepped on his eye after we plucked it out of its socket."
A pang of nausea hit her. She stared at him and swallowed, her throat thick with bile.
"Don't look at me like that. I didn't pluck it out. I could never do that to anyone."
"Of course not," she whispered angrily.
"I'm not going to have someone take one of yours, don't worry." He clasped his hands together and leaned closer. "Now, while you're sitting there pretending you're not intimidated, you're really thinking, 'What is it that they want from me? Why did those Cylons toss me in this nasty, dirty cell?'"
She attempted to read the expression on his face. It was so hard, the detail blurred from her lack of glasses, but if she tried...
"I'm here to tell you we're not really sure what we need from you yet," he said with an exaggerated sigh. She watched him shift on his feet and fold his arms across his chest. "Maybe you know a little about this whole…unfortunate insurgency situation. Maybe you know where some people are that we would love to talk to. I guess that's what we're trying to figure out. What we need from you, and how we can go about getting it."
He crouched down to look her in the eyes.
"It might take awhile," he said with a chuckle. "But right now, all you've got is time."
x x x x
Saul's first kiss was soft, his lips brushing across hers tenderly, like he was testing to see if she was an apparition. She kissed him back more firmly, parting her lips, proving to both him and herself that this was real.
Touch me.
His hand swept across her cheek.
x x x x
Cavil reached over and cupped Laura's face, his palm surprisingly soft. She flinched and examined the blue depths of his eyes.
How can you look so human?
She kept staring at him even as she heard the cell door open. "Good morning, gentlemen," he said, cocking his head to the side. "I'd like to introduce you to our guest."
"You motherfrakker," she growled between clenched teeth.
He gave her a contented smile and stood up. "More accurate than you'll ever know."
Laura looked behind him to see two men had walked into the cell, one wearing a black mask. She tried to focus her vision and distinguish the face of the other. Her heartbeat quickened when she couldn't.
Get closer so I can see who the frak you are.
She felt herself growing angrier, yet knew that her anger was just a cover for the fear growing within her. She stood up, casting a wary glare toward them.
Cavil turned away and walked toward the door. He patted the unmasked man reassuringly on the shoulder and leaned in, glancing back at her.
"Convince her she knows something."
Oh, gods.
Laura heard the door click shut and tried to steady her breathing as she stood her ground. The two men approached on either side of her and she took a sharp breath when she recognized the unmasked man-it was the Cylon she knew as Doral. The same one who tried to blow up Galactica, the same one who masqueraded as human on Colonial One while the worlds were going to hell.
The fluorescent light buzzed overhead.
x x x x
He's here. It's him.
Saul's mouth ignited her, his tongue searched her, his hands claimed her. Groaning into his mouth, Ellen clung to him, hissing out a breath as his hands rubbed her thighs, inching her skirt higher.
She put her hands on his chest and pushed him away hard. "I need you," she ordered, licking her lips. "Now."
The faster we do this, the less chance I have to think.
x x x x
"All right. Let's get this over with," Doral said, nodding in her direction. She resisted the urge to back up as they approached on either side of her; she had nowhere to go. Swallowing thickly, she felt her hands close into fists.
"If you touch me, I'll frakkin' kill you."
Doral let out a chuckle. "You'll frakkin' kill me. Do you know how absurd you sound?"
They can't die. They just come back to life.
Laura blinked back tears of frustration. Her jaw set, she watched Doral as he drew near while the guard hung back. He stood in front of her, unwavering.
"You want the first kick?" Doral asked the guard, his voice pretentious, casual.
Oh my gods. Okay, take it easy. Don't show him you're afraid.
"I don't know." The young man's voice was uncertain. Laura averted her gaze to him, trying to appear unaffected despite the fear of possibilities growing within her. He seemed apprehensive.
Maybe he'll back down.
"You don't know what?"
"That...that's Laura Roslin, Sir."
She felt a lump rise in her throat. "You don't want to do this, do you?"
"Shut up," Doral snapped. He looked at the guard. "You'll do it because it's your frakkin' job."
"You don't have to do this," she repeated. She couldn't see his eyes, but she knew there was a human under that mask.
You're not like them. You're not a machine.
"Oh, for God's sake," she heard Doral huff. She kept her eyes on the young man shifting his weight beside her; the longer she looked at the guard, the more human she would seem. "I don't know why we even bother enlisting you sensitive souls to help out around here."
"Frak you," she said, her voice low.
There was a swift intake of breath the instant before his fist connected with her stomach.
x x x x
Saul's hands slid up her sides and she shivered with the exquisite pleasure of his touch.
"Oh gods," Ellen breathed as she slid down onto Saul's length, slowly, so slowly, as he stretched her out. It burned-she ached around him and she gritted her teeth at the friction.
Maybe it should hurt. Maybe you deserve the pain.
Saul's hands clutched at her bare ass under her skirt and he groaned, pressing his body up into her. She responded with a soft moan and grabbed his hands, pushing them down to his sides and firmly holding them there. She began to ride him, harder, faster, her eyelids fluttering closed.
His hands and his sounds, gods, his sounds and his thrusts and his hands...
x x x x
Laura struggled for breath. Doral's fist hit her side, knocking her off balance. She grabbed at him, catching his shirt in her fist and holding tight.
You're going down with me, you son of a bitch.
He grabbed her arm and yanked it away, his shirt ripping under her fingernails. The pleasure she took in the sound ended abruptly as he twisted her arm behind her back. She whimpered, the sharp sting searing her. She acquiesced, but he continued the slow twisting until he forced a cry past her lips.
Frak it hurts, stay calm, it hurts, stay calm, come on, stay calm.
"Get…down." The sole of his boot hit her calf. "Down on the floor."
Another twist of her arm and her knees hit the cement. The shock against her kneecaps rattled her and she sucked a sharp breath through her teeth, groaning.
"You don't have to do this," she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. "You can stop him."
"Quite the contrary." The heel of Doral's boot ground into her lower back and he pushed down on her. Her arm screamed in agony as he forced her to the floor on her stomach. The cold of the floor chilled her through her jumpsuit, and she started to feel her airway constrict. Her chest tightened in panic and she felt unable to breathe.
Stay calm, breathe, you can do this, frak it Laura, calm the frak down. Breathe. Breathe.
"Come over here, I'm gonna give you an education."
"Frak you," she hissed.
"You curse too much." He gave her an emphatic shove with his foot. "Okay. Now, this is easy."
An unexpected kick hit her side and she immediately curled into a ball, as if on instinct. She felt throbbing where Doral's boot had connected with her body. "You just kick." Another kick, this time on her lower back, sent a jolt of pain rippling up her spine.
"Gods," she choked out. So many words in her head but she couldn't catch her breath...
I'm going to kill every last one of you when I get out of here, I swear to gods, I don't care, you frakking-
Doral kicked her back again and all the air left her lungs. She tried to inhale deeply, the wheezing sound frightening her. "Come on, help a brother out. I'm feeling a little lazy."
"Frak," she heard the guard whisper.
Her body felt like it was on fire. She squeezed her eyes shut harder with a soft whimper and braced herself.
You can do this, you can handle this. You can do this.
x x x x
"Talk to me, damn it," Ellen breathed. She had to hear Saul's voice-feeling him, seeing him under her, wasn't enough to convince her he was real this time.
I've spent so much time pretending.
She twisted her hips, the angle hitting her just right as he slid into her again. She moaned and bit her lip.
"Did I ever tell you how glad I am I married you?"
His voice was soft. She stopped moving and looked at him, her chin quivering.
Gods, the last time he asked me that…
"Not once," she whispered.
He shifted his wrists, still trapped in her grip, and she let them free. He traced his fingers along the tops of her thighs, over the plane of her stomach, his body suddenly still as he watched her shiver under his touch.
"I am thankful, every frakkin' day, that I married you. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up. The last thing I think about when I fall asleep."
He faltered for a moment, his jaw set. She could see the tear in his eye.
"Thinking of you got me through that hell-"
"Saul, I-"
"And I'd give everything I have just to have you in my life forever."
She couldn't speak, overwhelmed by the realization of the sacrifices he had made, she had made, they'd both made together.
"Me too." She leaned down to kiss him. "Anything. Everything."
x x x x
Laura heard the guard's whispered apology before his boot connected with her side, hard against her ribs. She cried out at the intense burst of pain and the fear that rippled through her.
Don't break-
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry…"
Over and over he repeated it, like it made a difference to her. Like if he said it enough she'd forgive him. She could feel welts rising on her skin, pulsing with her heartbeat.
You can be as sorry as you want, but you're signing your death warrant.
"Quit apologizing," Doral snapped. "She's not doing you any favors by trying to kill you and your buddies every frakkin' day."
The guard's boot landed along her shoulder blade this time, harder. Over and over. She wasn't sure if he stopped apologizing or if she stopped hearing his words.
It has to end. It always has to end. Just a little bit more.
x x x x
"More," Ellen panted. "Come on, Saul."
Ellen rose over Saul and pushed her hand between her legs. She felt her body spark alive under her fingers, and she slid down onto him. He clutched at her ass and they found their rhythm easily, familiar and comfortable.
There it is...
x x x x
"Do you think the ex-President has a nice ass?"
Laura's gut wrenched. The guard didn't respond to Doral's question. She could hear his exerted pants over her own breathing.
"What am I thinking?" Doral drawled. He sighed languorously. "How can you judge what you can't see?"
She heard footsteps approaching and she curled as tightly as she could into herself, her muscles searing with heat.
Just a little bit more.
Doral nearly lifted her off the ground when he yanked at the back of her collar. She landed on her back, gasping as she felt him grab the front of her jumpsuit and rip it open. She clutched at both sides tightly with her shaking fists, pulling them closed.
"No." The young guard's voice was sharp and panicked.
The light droned overhead, punctuated by her wheezing.
Don't. Not that. I need to get out. I need to get out.
She started crying, choked sobs that sent sharp jabs of pain through her abdomen. She couldn't hold them in any longer. Humiliation flushed her cheeks red.
"Then get to it." Doral nudged at her with the toe of his boot. She heard him walk away.
The next kick was swift and hard, the hardest of them all. A searing line of pain shot from her back down her leg.
"Gods." She embraced herself tightly, repeating it to herself.
Please, gods, Bill, somebody, please.
She heard Doral chuckle. "They're not helping you now, are they?"
Please.
The next kick left her breathless, a sour taste rising in her throat. She gagged on it through her tears.
"Where are they now?"
x x x x
Ellen gritted her teeth and felt a heated rush surge through her abdomen. Her body throbbed around Saul, her pulse quickening, inching ever closer to the sweet release she'd needed for so long.
"I'm gonna…"
She jerked her body against his, frakking him harder.
"Yeah, do it," Saul urged breathlessly. "Come on. Come on."
"Saul," she whimpered. "I'm sorry, I…oh, gods…"
"Just let go. Just let go."
x x x x
"All right, that's enough."
Laura lay still on the hard cement floor, feeling an anticipatory shudder.
I don't believe you.
x x x x
Ellen cried out, a wave of pleasure cascading up her body. "Gods, yes, yes, yes," she whimpered.
Saul groaned and thrust his body into hers, grinding his hips as his head tilted back.
He grabbed Ellen's ass with a loud groan, holding her down, grinding into her.
His hands digging into her flesh...
She gasped and squirmed as she felt panic setting in. She tried to free herself from his grasp. "Let go...let go."
This is what he does, what he does...
x x x x
The door slammed shut behind them and Laura remained on the floor, her hands clutched to her chest. She wanted to melt, to dissolve into the ground. She didn't want to leave a trace of this self behind for anyone to find.
It's over.
x x x x
Stop. Stop.
Saul grunted as he came with a forceful thrust, holding her body against him.
Frak you.
Ellen hit him in the face, her fist connecting with his bearded cheek.
She stared in disbelief as the tears began to fall.
x x x x
Laura ran her hands over her body-she was sticky with either sweat or blood, she couldn't tell which and she didn't care to look. Her body was throbbing, a pain more intense than she'd ever felt. She panted for air in a panic, her face wet with tears.
I can't breathe. Breathe. I can't breathe.
Breathe.
The desperate breath she finally managed made her crumple with a groan. A few more shallow draws of air and she felt herself relaxing. She wiped her face with the back of her hand.
Laura's eyes shifted to the hazy sunlight streaking across the cell. She took another deep breath and winced, then put her palms flat against the cement.
Get up. Get the frak up. Get up off the ground.
She panted and gradually pushed herself up to a sitting position. She bent her legs and wrapped her arms around them, biting her lip at the stinging pulse of her body.
She stared at the cell door, shaking.
I'll never tell him about this.
x x x x
Saul let go of Ellen and she slid off of his lap. She folded her arms across her chest and squeezed her eyes shut, her back turned to him.
"What the frak," he said angrily. She could hear the incredulity in his voice. "What the frak was that?"
"I...I don't know," Ellen said, running her fingers through her hair.
I can't tell you. Not yet. Not now.
"What happened to you while I was in there?" Saul asked. She could hear him shifting on the cot.
"Nothing," she retorted angrily.
"Did you frak someone else?"
She stood motionless, his words ringing in her ears.
"Tell me."
I can't.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10
Author: icedteainthebag
Word Count: 34,420
Rating: MA
Pairings: John Cavil/Ellen Tigh, Ellen Tigh/Saul Tigh, Laura Roslin/Bill Adama
Warnings: Dubcon, graphic physical violence, graphic sex
Summary: Sometimes we make mistakes when we think we're doing the right thing.
Notes: See Chapter One, but I’ll restate it here: meryl_edan, larsfarm77, tjonesy, dashakay and somadanne... you all played an integral part in this section. Thank you for helping me.
Artist: MrsDrJackson
Link to Art: banner can be found here.
x x x x
175th Day of the Cylon Occupation of New Caprica
I can feel the tension building in the air like we're on the verge of something significant. Everything has been too quiet. Colonel Tigh has been released and there is little he'd like more than revenge upon those who tried to take away his dignity. Though I understand his anger, I'm concerned about his methods. Desperation can drive men beyond their moral compasses, can make the inexcusable seem justifiable.
I'm angry at those who have joined the New Caprica Police. There is no good that can come of the unification of Cylon and human. I wonder how it feels to wear their uniform, to take their orders, to turn against your own people under the guise of peace and justice.
There will be a day when they ask themselves if it was worth it after all.
"These are the surveillance pictures taken by the insurgents," Tory said, tossing photos onto two separate piles. Laura looked up from her journal. "I think we can match names to about fifty of these photos. But our best guess puts the total police force at around two hundred."
Two hundred traitors.
"Two hundred. I wouldn't have believed there'd be twenty people who would turn against their own kind. I want those names. I want the rest of the names."
I want to know every last one of them.
"It's tough. The Cylons are afraid the population will go after any human who joins the New Caprica Police."
"As well they should."
Laura ignored Tory's questioning look and pushed back from the table. "I'm headed back to the tent. Please let me know if you find out anything else."
Tory nodded as Laura slid on her coat and tucked her journal into it. "All right."
Laura left the tent, the cold wind momentarily taking her breath away. She inhaled the frigid air and began the walk to her tent.
She hadn't heard from Ellen in days, not since they'd shared drinks and a cot and probably too many intimate details about their lives. She'd heard from Chief that Saul had been released. He'd given her some of the more grim details about the state of the Colonel's condition. At least he's alive, Chief had said, and she'd agreed with him.
I don't know what Bill would do without him. When Bill comes back.
She knew Ellen was probably busy alternately attending to Saul's needs and celebrating his return. She didn't blame her for that. She'd be doing the same thing.
Laura pulled up her collar, her cheeks stinging from the cold. It was going to be a hard winter alone.
x x x x
Ellen was sitting at the table in their tent when she heard the explosion. It startled her out of a daydream, something about rolling hills with green grass upon them, the wind tousling her hair.
It was loud. It was terrifying. She'd heard explosions in the camp before, but this was different. Something horrible had happened.
She wondered whether Saul was the cause or the victim.
x x x x
The command came in a hushed tone in the early morning hours, interrupting Laura's dreams, so much so that when she opened her eyes to bright flashlights in her face, she couldn't figure out if she was still sleeping.
"Get up," she heard someone demand, a male voice, fairly young. She squinted in the bright light and shielded her face with her arm. "Don't make a sound."
Her heartbeat pounded in her ears.
It's all a dream...it has to be a dream.
x x x x
Ellen was out of breath from running through the camp. She'd run from the schoolhouse until she reached her tent and yanked the flap open. Saul was sitting at their table, bent over a steaming cup.
"Laura," she panted. "She's gone."
Saul turned to look at her. "Whaddya mean she's gone?"
"I went…" Ellen breathed deeply, trying to calm the twisting in her gut and catch her breath. "I went to the school to talk to her and they said she didn't show up this morning, that they sent someone over to her tent and couldn't find her. I went there myself. She's gone, and she didn't take anything with her, Saul. You know what's happened-"
"Now hold on a second, godsdamn it," he said harshly.
Just frakkin' listen to me for once.
"They took her, Saul," Ellen said, tears slipping down her cheeks. "They took her, I'm sure of it."
Godsdamn it, Laura, why weren't you more careful?
x x x x
The walk to the detention center was silent and dark. The officers let Laura walk the path in front of them, the dirt tightly packed under her feet.
Nobody's awake. Soon the sun will rise, and people will wake up, and someone will notice I'm gone.
Laura's mind was racing. She knew it was a mode of distraction and accepted it as such, thinking about the schoolchildren gathering, about Maya and Isis arriving at the tent to find her absent. She wondered what they would think when they found her tent empty-she hated that idea, of someone discovering she had been taken. She didn't want to worry anyone, didn't need anyone worrying about her.
I can take care of myself.
They arrived at the front of the building and the iron gates squeaked in the silence; she'd never noticed that sound before.
Laura began to feel the first inklings of panic when they entered the detention center, though she tried not to show it. She walked the long hallway, listening intently for some signs of life, but heard none. Somehow, this quiet was infinitely more harrowing than the silence outside.
The guard standing watch inside the small, cement-walled cell to which she was led wore the same black mask as all the others.
New Caprica Police, those sons of bitches.
She couldn't see his eyes, but she could feel them following her as she entered the room and stood still. There was a gray jumpsuit folded neatly in the middle of the floor.
"We need your clothes."
She glanced at him questioningly and looked back down at the pile of clothing.
The frak you do.
"Either you take them off, or I'll-"
"I've got it," she interrupted. She hoped he could hear the warning in her voice and not the uncertainty.
He shifted his weight on his feet and watched her. She felt her stomach churn.
Her mouth was dry as she turned her back and pulled her shirt up over her head, exposing her back to the chill of the air and his prying eyes.
She bent down and picked up the jumpsuit.
"All of your clothes," he said sharply.
She started to turn to him, but stopped herself with a deep breath.
She reached behind her back and unfastened her bra, her throat constricting. She let it slip to the floor as goose bumps spread across her skin.
"Never thought I'd get to see the President naked."
x x x x
"Why were you looking for Laura Roslin?" Saul asked, interrupting Ellen's chaotic stream of thoughts. She wiped the tears off of her cheeks.
I need to calm the frak down.
Saul stood up and walked over to her. She looked at her feet, then back up at him.
I don't know why I was looking for Laura Roslin. I just was.
Ellen felt her stomach flutter at the inquisitive look in his eyes. "Why shouldn't I be?"
"Last I knew you two weren't on the best of terms." Saul ran his hand down her bare arm and entwined their fingers.
He's trying to comfort you. You don't deserve to be comforted.
Ellen pulled her hand away and folded her arms across her stomach.
"When you were in detention, we figured out we had something in common," she said, her voice wavering.
"Like what?"
"Isolation. Separation. Pain."
Saul let out a low laugh. "So you bonded with Laura frakkin' Roslin over how shitty this godsforsaken hellhole is."
Ellen glared at him, taking a deep breath. He really had no idea what she'd gone through when he was in there, no idea what Laura was going through with Bill, wherever he was, maybe dead for all they knew. His expression softened when he saw her glare. "About the condition of our lives, yes. Saul, you were gone. Bill is gone. We really didn't have anyone else to turn to who would understand what we were going through."
Alone. We were alone.
x x x x
The last things the guard took were her shoes and her glasses. She couldn't look him in the face. She merely closed her eyes as his hand brushed hers in exchange.
She could see outlines and vague details of her surroundings as she was guided to another cell.
The click of the door lock startled her, then made her only more frustrated.
She began to pace, the floor hard and cold under the soles of her feet. She looked at the small windows and back at the door, wringing her hands together, over and over.
There must be some way out of here.
x x x x
"I'm sorry," Saul said, his voice gruff. Ellen regretted unleashing her frustration on him. She needed him to listen, maybe even understand, in the most generic of terms, what had happened to her while everything was happening to him.
Ellen pulled him close, kissing his forehead. "Saul, what could you possibly have to be sorry about?"
"That I wasn't here for you."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. "You were locked up. You were being tortured. I think that's a fair enough excuse for not being as attentive to your woman as usual."
He didn't laugh. She kissed his neck and rested her head against him. Her forehead brushed his beard, something she still hadn't gotten used to since he was released. He wore it like a badge, like it told the story of what he'd been through.
You can't break down, Saul. I need you to stay strong, as selfish as that may be.
"I haven't been here for you," he said. "Ever since I got out, I've been puttin' myself right back into the fray. We set off a bomb at the NCP graduation ceremony yesterday. They could come after me again if they wanted to."
Oh, gods. I don't want to think about it.
"But you're here now," she said, nuzzling him. "And I'm still really needy."
She felt his chuckle and she smiled against his skin.
x x x x
Laura had given up pacing-really, she'd worn herself out-and finally had sat on the floor, the cold of the cement chilling her body. It was an agonizing wait for daylight to come.
Daybreak brought the muted sound of someone's prayer that echoed down the hallway. It was monotonous and slightly calming until a distant, sharp scream overpowered it.
Stay calm.
The door creaked open, startling her. She glanced up to see one of the Cavils walking into the room.
Those motherfrakking Cavils.
She drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
"Welcome," he said, his smile broad. He made a gesture to the room. "I hope you've found the amenities to your liking so far."
She stared at him. "Do you have an airlock here?"
His laughter was contrived as he stepped closer to her.
"I see your humor is just as dry as mine. A little unsatisfied with your current condition, Laura?" he asked. "Nobody likes it here. If they did, what would be the point?"
She bit her tongue. She wouldn't give him the pleasure of a response.
"You do realize," he said, "that this is the cell we held your friend Colonel Tigh in. And actually…" He cringed. "I think you're sitting right where I stepped on his eye after we plucked it out of its socket."
A pang of nausea hit her. She stared at him and swallowed, her throat thick with bile.
"Don't look at me like that. I didn't pluck it out. I could never do that to anyone."
"Of course not," she whispered angrily.
"I'm not going to have someone take one of yours, don't worry." He clasped his hands together and leaned closer. "Now, while you're sitting there pretending you're not intimidated, you're really thinking, 'What is it that they want from me? Why did those Cylons toss me in this nasty, dirty cell?'"
She attempted to read the expression on his face. It was so hard, the detail blurred from her lack of glasses, but if she tried...
"I'm here to tell you we're not really sure what we need from you yet," he said with an exaggerated sigh. She watched him shift on his feet and fold his arms across his chest. "Maybe you know a little about this whole…unfortunate insurgency situation. Maybe you know where some people are that we would love to talk to. I guess that's what we're trying to figure out. What we need from you, and how we can go about getting it."
He crouched down to look her in the eyes.
"It might take awhile," he said with a chuckle. "But right now, all you've got is time."
x x x x
Saul's first kiss was soft, his lips brushing across hers tenderly, like he was testing to see if she was an apparition. She kissed him back more firmly, parting her lips, proving to both him and herself that this was real.
Touch me.
His hand swept across her cheek.
x x x x
Cavil reached over and cupped Laura's face, his palm surprisingly soft. She flinched and examined the blue depths of his eyes.
How can you look so human?
She kept staring at him even as she heard the cell door open. "Good morning, gentlemen," he said, cocking his head to the side. "I'd like to introduce you to our guest."
"You motherfrakker," she growled between clenched teeth.
He gave her a contented smile and stood up. "More accurate than you'll ever know."
Laura looked behind him to see two men had walked into the cell, one wearing a black mask. She tried to focus her vision and distinguish the face of the other. Her heartbeat quickened when she couldn't.
Get closer so I can see who the frak you are.
She felt herself growing angrier, yet knew that her anger was just a cover for the fear growing within her. She stood up, casting a wary glare toward them.
Cavil turned away and walked toward the door. He patted the unmasked man reassuringly on the shoulder and leaned in, glancing back at her.
"Convince her she knows something."
Oh, gods.
Laura heard the door click shut and tried to steady her breathing as she stood her ground. The two men approached on either side of her and she took a sharp breath when she recognized the unmasked man-it was the Cylon she knew as Doral. The same one who tried to blow up Galactica, the same one who masqueraded as human on Colonial One while the worlds were going to hell.
The fluorescent light buzzed overhead.
x x x x
He's here. It's him.
Saul's mouth ignited her, his tongue searched her, his hands claimed her. Groaning into his mouth, Ellen clung to him, hissing out a breath as his hands rubbed her thighs, inching her skirt higher.
She put her hands on his chest and pushed him away hard. "I need you," she ordered, licking her lips. "Now."
The faster we do this, the less chance I have to think.
x x x x
"All right. Let's get this over with," Doral said, nodding in her direction. She resisted the urge to back up as they approached on either side of her; she had nowhere to go. Swallowing thickly, she felt her hands close into fists.
"If you touch me, I'll frakkin' kill you."
Doral let out a chuckle. "You'll frakkin' kill me. Do you know how absurd you sound?"
They can't die. They just come back to life.
Laura blinked back tears of frustration. Her jaw set, she watched Doral as he drew near while the guard hung back. He stood in front of her, unwavering.
"You want the first kick?" Doral asked the guard, his voice pretentious, casual.
Oh my gods. Okay, take it easy. Don't show him you're afraid.
"I don't know." The young man's voice was uncertain. Laura averted her gaze to him, trying to appear unaffected despite the fear of possibilities growing within her. He seemed apprehensive.
Maybe he'll back down.
"You don't know what?"
"That...that's Laura Roslin, Sir."
She felt a lump rise in her throat. "You don't want to do this, do you?"
"Shut up," Doral snapped. He looked at the guard. "You'll do it because it's your frakkin' job."
"You don't have to do this," she repeated. She couldn't see his eyes, but she knew there was a human under that mask.
You're not like them. You're not a machine.
"Oh, for God's sake," she heard Doral huff. She kept her eyes on the young man shifting his weight beside her; the longer she looked at the guard, the more human she would seem. "I don't know why we even bother enlisting you sensitive souls to help out around here."
"Frak you," she said, her voice low.
There was a swift intake of breath the instant before his fist connected with her stomach.
x x x x
Saul's hands slid up her sides and she shivered with the exquisite pleasure of his touch.
"Oh gods," Ellen breathed as she slid down onto Saul's length, slowly, so slowly, as he stretched her out. It burned-she ached around him and she gritted her teeth at the friction.
Maybe it should hurt. Maybe you deserve the pain.
Saul's hands clutched at her bare ass under her skirt and he groaned, pressing his body up into her. She responded with a soft moan and grabbed his hands, pushing them down to his sides and firmly holding them there. She began to ride him, harder, faster, her eyelids fluttering closed.
His hands and his sounds, gods, his sounds and his thrusts and his hands...
x x x x
Laura struggled for breath. Doral's fist hit her side, knocking her off balance. She grabbed at him, catching his shirt in her fist and holding tight.
You're going down with me, you son of a bitch.
He grabbed her arm and yanked it away, his shirt ripping under her fingernails. The pleasure she took in the sound ended abruptly as he twisted her arm behind her back. She whimpered, the sharp sting searing her. She acquiesced, but he continued the slow twisting until he forced a cry past her lips.
Frak it hurts, stay calm, it hurts, stay calm, come on, stay calm.
"Get…down." The sole of his boot hit her calf. "Down on the floor."
Another twist of her arm and her knees hit the cement. The shock against her kneecaps rattled her and she sucked a sharp breath through her teeth, groaning.
"You don't have to do this," she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. "You can stop him."
"Quite the contrary." The heel of Doral's boot ground into her lower back and he pushed down on her. Her arm screamed in agony as he forced her to the floor on her stomach. The cold of the floor chilled her through her jumpsuit, and she started to feel her airway constrict. Her chest tightened in panic and she felt unable to breathe.
Stay calm, breathe, you can do this, frak it Laura, calm the frak down. Breathe. Breathe.
"Come over here, I'm gonna give you an education."
"Frak you," she hissed.
"You curse too much." He gave her an emphatic shove with his foot. "Okay. Now, this is easy."
An unexpected kick hit her side and she immediately curled into a ball, as if on instinct. She felt throbbing where Doral's boot had connected with her body. "You just kick." Another kick, this time on her lower back, sent a jolt of pain rippling up her spine.
"Gods," she choked out. So many words in her head but she couldn't catch her breath...
I'm going to kill every last one of you when I get out of here, I swear to gods, I don't care, you frakking-
Doral kicked her back again and all the air left her lungs. She tried to inhale deeply, the wheezing sound frightening her. "Come on, help a brother out. I'm feeling a little lazy."
"Frak," she heard the guard whisper.
Her body felt like it was on fire. She squeezed her eyes shut harder with a soft whimper and braced herself.
You can do this, you can handle this. You can do this.
x x x x
"Talk to me, damn it," Ellen breathed. She had to hear Saul's voice-feeling him, seeing him under her, wasn't enough to convince her he was real this time.
I've spent so much time pretending.
She twisted her hips, the angle hitting her just right as he slid into her again. She moaned and bit her lip.
"Did I ever tell you how glad I am I married you?"
His voice was soft. She stopped moving and looked at him, her chin quivering.
Gods, the last time he asked me that…
"Not once," she whispered.
He shifted his wrists, still trapped in her grip, and she let them free. He traced his fingers along the tops of her thighs, over the plane of her stomach, his body suddenly still as he watched her shiver under his touch.
"I am thankful, every frakkin' day, that I married you. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up. The last thing I think about when I fall asleep."
He faltered for a moment, his jaw set. She could see the tear in his eye.
"Thinking of you got me through that hell-"
"Saul, I-"
"And I'd give everything I have just to have you in my life forever."
She couldn't speak, overwhelmed by the realization of the sacrifices he had made, she had made, they'd both made together.
"Me too." She leaned down to kiss him. "Anything. Everything."
x x x x
Laura heard the guard's whispered apology before his boot connected with her side, hard against her ribs. She cried out at the intense burst of pain and the fear that rippled through her.
Don't break-
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry…"
Over and over he repeated it, like it made a difference to her. Like if he said it enough she'd forgive him. She could feel welts rising on her skin, pulsing with her heartbeat.
You can be as sorry as you want, but you're signing your death warrant.
"Quit apologizing," Doral snapped. "She's not doing you any favors by trying to kill you and your buddies every frakkin' day."
The guard's boot landed along her shoulder blade this time, harder. Over and over. She wasn't sure if he stopped apologizing or if she stopped hearing his words.
It has to end. It always has to end. Just a little bit more.
x x x x
"More," Ellen panted. "Come on, Saul."
Ellen rose over Saul and pushed her hand between her legs. She felt her body spark alive under her fingers, and she slid down onto him. He clutched at her ass and they found their rhythm easily, familiar and comfortable.
There it is...
x x x x
"Do you think the ex-President has a nice ass?"
Laura's gut wrenched. The guard didn't respond to Doral's question. She could hear his exerted pants over her own breathing.
"What am I thinking?" Doral drawled. He sighed languorously. "How can you judge what you can't see?"
She heard footsteps approaching and she curled as tightly as she could into herself, her muscles searing with heat.
Just a little bit more.
Doral nearly lifted her off the ground when he yanked at the back of her collar. She landed on her back, gasping as she felt him grab the front of her jumpsuit and rip it open. She clutched at both sides tightly with her shaking fists, pulling them closed.
"No." The young guard's voice was sharp and panicked.
The light droned overhead, punctuated by her wheezing.
Don't. Not that. I need to get out. I need to get out.
She started crying, choked sobs that sent sharp jabs of pain through her abdomen. She couldn't hold them in any longer. Humiliation flushed her cheeks red.
"Then get to it." Doral nudged at her with the toe of his boot. She heard him walk away.
The next kick was swift and hard, the hardest of them all. A searing line of pain shot from her back down her leg.
"Gods." She embraced herself tightly, repeating it to herself.
Please, gods, Bill, somebody, please.
She heard Doral chuckle. "They're not helping you now, are they?"
Please.
The next kick left her breathless, a sour taste rising in her throat. She gagged on it through her tears.
"Where are they now?"
x x x x
Ellen gritted her teeth and felt a heated rush surge through her abdomen. Her body throbbed around Saul, her pulse quickening, inching ever closer to the sweet release she'd needed for so long.
"I'm gonna…"
She jerked her body against his, frakking him harder.
"Yeah, do it," Saul urged breathlessly. "Come on. Come on."
"Saul," she whimpered. "I'm sorry, I…oh, gods…"
"Just let go. Just let go."
x x x x
"All right, that's enough."
Laura lay still on the hard cement floor, feeling an anticipatory shudder.
I don't believe you.
x x x x
Ellen cried out, a wave of pleasure cascading up her body. "Gods, yes, yes, yes," she whimpered.
Saul groaned and thrust his body into hers, grinding his hips as his head tilted back.
He grabbed Ellen's ass with a loud groan, holding her down, grinding into her.
His hands digging into her flesh...
She gasped and squirmed as she felt panic setting in. She tried to free herself from his grasp. "Let go...let go."
This is what he does, what he does...
x x x x
The door slammed shut behind them and Laura remained on the floor, her hands clutched to her chest. She wanted to melt, to dissolve into the ground. She didn't want to leave a trace of this self behind for anyone to find.
It's over.
x x x x
Stop. Stop.
Saul grunted as he came with a forceful thrust, holding her body against him.
Frak you.
Ellen hit him in the face, her fist connecting with his bearded cheek.
She stared in disbelief as the tears began to fall.
x x x x
Laura ran her hands over her body-she was sticky with either sweat or blood, she couldn't tell which and she didn't care to look. Her body was throbbing, a pain more intense than she'd ever felt. She panted for air in a panic, her face wet with tears.
I can't breathe. Breathe. I can't breathe.
Breathe.
The desperate breath she finally managed made her crumple with a groan. A few more shallow draws of air and she felt herself relaxing. She wiped her face with the back of her hand.
Laura's eyes shifted to the hazy sunlight streaking across the cell. She took another deep breath and winced, then put her palms flat against the cement.
Get up. Get the frak up. Get up off the ground.
She panted and gradually pushed herself up to a sitting position. She bent her legs and wrapped her arms around them, biting her lip at the stinging pulse of her body.
She stared at the cell door, shaking.
I'll never tell him about this.
x x x x
Saul let go of Ellen and she slid off of his lap. She folded her arms across her chest and squeezed her eyes shut, her back turned to him.
"What the frak," he said angrily. She could hear the incredulity in his voice. "What the frak was that?"
"I...I don't know," Ellen said, running her fingers through her hair.
I can't tell you. Not yet. Not now.
"What happened to you while I was in there?" Saul asked. She could hear him shifting on the cot.
"Nothing," she retorted angrily.
"Did you frak someone else?"
She stood motionless, his words ringing in her ears.
"Tell me."
I can't.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10