Call it like it is little girl......stop lying to yourself.
Auto response from NOVstayedthesame: if i were to fall off the face of the earth.
would you even notice.
would you even care.
x irish 77: what happened
x irish 77: ?
NOVstayedthesame: nothing......im just distressed
NOVstayedthesame: he tells me he things like he cant stand it here anymore in NE and that theres nothing here for him
x irish 77: that's fucking queerr!!
NOVstayedthesame: w/e even if it does bother me its not like thats gonna change anything
NOVstayedthesame: idk im just emo
NOVstayedthesame: idk....
x irish 77: sheesh
NOVstayedthesame: the more i think about it the more i get all down and out....like i think about the times that things happened...and its like those two weeks or however long it was was great cus even though i had doubts, we still hung out and stuff so it wasnt so bad
NOVstayedthesame: now that i barely see him.......and things have gone back to the way they were....i just feel bad about it now
NOVstayedthesame: and in a way i wish i never did that
x irish 77: eek
NOVstayedthesame: i know
NOVstayedthesame: and i try to tell myself that its not like that.....but lately thats just how ive been feeling
NOVstayedthesame: idk whats going on
x irish 77: damn
NOVstayedthesame: i know
NOVstayedthesame: i just want to be happy kate
NOVstayedthesame: i want to be happy.....and have butterflies, and someone to look forward to, someone to care for
NOVstayedthesame: someone that will return those feelings
x irish 77: i know i want you to be happy too
NOVstayedthesame: im sick of everything being so one sided
NOVstayedthesame: when im with him, or when i see him...i am happy
NOVstayedthesame: but afterwards i sit and think about it...and its only like a temporary happy
NOVstayedthesame: i dont want it to be like that
x irish 77: i know
NOVstayedthesame: [sigh]
NOVstayedthesame: and its not like i can tell him any of this
NOVstayedthesame: its not what he needs to hear right now
x irish 77: ha
x irish 77: but he does need to hear it
NOVstayedthesame: and even if i told him, im afraid that it wouldnt make a difference
x irish 77: even if it's not right now
x irish 77: if it doesn't make a difference then he doesn't deserve to be with you
NOVstayedthesame: he doesnt want to be with me right now
x irish 77: sheesh
NOVstayedthesame: honestly right? i mean it needs to be called like it is.....the fact is that although he thinks im super great and blah blah blah.....he doesnt want to be with me right now
x irish 77: i dunno
NOVstayedthesame: its just not what he needs/wants
x irish 77: i can't see indide his mind
NOVstayedthesame: actions speak louder than words though right?
x irish 77: yes
NOVstayedthesame: so im getting the feeling hes saying something like yeah your great and all but i dont want a relationship with you right now
x irish 77: efff
NOVstayedthesame: for serious
NOVstayedthesame: and thinking about that just makes me feel like shit....cus im like torn in the middle...
NOVstayedthesame: on one hand i can see where hes coming from..maybe a relationship is just not what he needs right now
NOVstayedthesame: on the other hand....
NOVstayedthesame: there is a part of me that wants to call him mine so bad
NOVstayedthesame: i just want to be like ....yeah hes mine. i make him smile
NOVstayedthesame: i make him happyu
NOVstayedthesame: yeah.......well it doesnt work that way
NOVstayedthesame: not for me it doesnt
x irish 77: it sucks because theyre's nothing you could do
NOVstayedthesame: exactly
NOVstayedthesame: thats why im so emo about it
NOVstayedthesame: cus i have all these feelings and theres nothing i can do about it
NOVstayedthesame: not a damn thing
x irish 77: :-(
NOVstayedthesame: and i know if i tell him hes going to be like please dont feel that way blah blah blah
NOVstayedthesame: and that just makes it worse
NOVstayedthesame: cus then i feel like im in the wrong for having the feelings i do
x irish 77: true