It is just shy of 8:30 am, as I plop my butt, into the rickety old chair (which I know will one day BREAK under my weight), and begin this post. It is a bright day, outside. Golden with sunlight. Sunshine, I can deal with. After all, who doesn't love a nice, sunny day
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I was bullied mercilessly pretty much all through elementary school, and I had to face that and understand how it was affecting me NOW, 15 years later, in order to start moving on and being okay with who I am, fundamentally, as a person.
It sounds like you did that, too.
Meditation sounds like a wonderful idea. Letting the mind be silent is a powerful thing. I'll share a quote with you that my priest shares with us sometimes, about the prophet Elias, who was trying to hear God's message: God's answer was: "Go out and stand on the mountain before Yahweh ." Then God marched past. Before Him went a mighty storm, splitting mountains and shattering rocks. But Yahweh was not in the storm. After the storm came an earthquake. Nor was God in the earthquake. There followed a fire, yet neither was God in the fire. After the fire a soft wind whispered. As soon as Elias heard this, he covered his face with his mantle, went outside the cave and stood at its entrance. Now Elias knows that God is close: not in thunder and roar and clamor, but in the silence.
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