Part 1 Countdown: 3 Days Left! I'm So Ready To Start Loom Knitting
Ok...I feel as though I simply MUST write this.
My mother has this habit, which COMPLETELY drives me FRIGGIN nuts. Worst of all, she KNOWS it drives me nuts, but will still keep right on doing it. Day, after day...After day!!!
She will not say a SINGLE thing to me, in the morning. That is, until I sit down, in front of the computer, and prepare to blog. Then, she is blessed with the Gift of Gab. She just wants to talk away. It doesn't really even matter what she is saying, so long as she can talk. So long as she can interrupt me, from my writing. I think it is a deliberate act. A conspiracy, to keep me, from blogging. I will look at her, every morning, and point, at the computer screen. And, each morning, this is met, with the same reaction. She glares at me, as though I am a total ass, and walks away, saying things like: "PEOPLE NEVER WANT TO LISTEN TO ME!" I swear, my mother is the biggest friggin DRAMA QUEEN, I have EVER had the pleasure of knowing.
So...I hope you are all ready. The quiz is soon, to come. You know you want the beanie.Don't lie, about it.
Well...So much to talk about, in this entry. I guess I will start with the beanie, I made yesterday, and work my way, from there.
Yesterday, after writing my entry, I went to my stash, and pulled out 2 skeins. Bright yellow, and a variegated yarn (blue, green, and a HINT of yellow {not the same shade as the bright yellow skein.}) I went to my chaise. My sweetie pie looked at me, and then the skeins.
"Oh, Michael...no! For the love of GOD...NO!" I got a kiss on the cheek, and was told to "choose another color combo." Then, my sweetie, and mom, took off, to run errands. (They would not tell me, where they were going.)
I was asked, by my mother, to take care of my uncle. (Oh, joy!)
12 pm rolls around, and I am 6 rounds, into my beanie. I had decided to use the yarn, I originally picked. I was planning to work rounds 1-8, in the variegated, and do rounds 9 & 10, in yellow.
I stop working, on the beanie, and ask my uncle, if he is hungry. He tells me no. So, I go back to crocheting. Five minutes later, my aunt walks in, and asks him, if he is hungry.
"Yes," he says. "I told Michael I was, but he just went back to crocheting." This got me a nasty glare, from my aunt.
I looked at my uncle, and I thought to myself, 'you effing (not the word I thought) LIAR!!!' (I swear...I am done, with him.)
My aunt made him lunch. (After that lie, it is a good thing she was here to take care of him. I would have let him friggin starve, or get off his ass, and make his own damned food.)
I finished the beanie, and decided to just ignore my uncle, and my aunt, altogether.
After the beanie, I took some time, to walk around outside. I needed to get away from my uncle (who was hauled up in the house, like some lying friggin HERMIT!) Walking around, outside, I cussed him out. I had a beer, to help relax, before going back inside.
I sat back down, on my chaise, and looked at the beanie. My sweetie did not think the colors would go. But, this beanie looks FRIGGIN awesome. I am very pleased with it.
After admiring my work, I grabbed my burgandy "egg", and the magazine, with the pattern, in it. Before even resuming work on it, I looked at it. I compared what I had already made, to what the picture, in the magazine, showed. And, I had my doubts. But, I remained optimistic. After all, I have done projects in the past, that I swore would not come out right. Yet, in the end, they were PERFECT. This was bound to be another one of those projects.
I started crocheting away!
An hour later, I fastened off the 'body' of the egg, as it is referred to, in the magazine. I made the bottom, and did EVERYTHING the pattern asked me to do.
Yet, I did not get an egg! (This should come as no surprise. I mean, I can barely cook eggs. So, why would I think I could crochet one?)
"What the hell, is this," I asked aloud, as I stared at the 'thing', on the black ottoman. I picked it up, with the tips of my thumb, and index finger, and held it, far away from me. "How DAMNED ugly!" My God...What type of yarn MONSTROSITY, had I created? It was wrong...Just plain WRONG! (It actually ALMOST resembles a wine bottle cozy. I was almost certain, I could pass it off, as this. But, nope! The opening at the top, is not big enough, to fit a wine bottle, into.)
I heard the car, pull into the driveway.
"Crap!" I said. I looked around, for a place to hide this beastly yarn creation. After all, there was really no reason that my sweetie, and mom, ever need to find out, about it.
But, I was not fast enough.
"What have you got here?", My sweetie asked.
"Well..." I told the whole thing. I told how the pattern claimed to be, for a beginner (yet I swear, this is a LIE!)I told how I followed, every part of the pattern, for an egg...Yet, I wound up with this...WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS!"
"Well..." My sweetie said. "Look at it this way. You haven't really failed, on any project, since you first attempted to work the octagon granny square."
"I did not FAIL this!!!" I am sure that I became became very red, in the face. "The pattern is just WRONG!! I did everything right. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!! Fail? Oh, no...Not me. The pattern is the thing that failed. It FAILED me!" I could not stand to look at the burgandy monster, I held in my hand, for a single moment longer. I took it to the trash can, and got rid of it. "I will just do the damned thing, all over again! And, if the results are the same, we will know. The FRIGGIN pattern, is to blame! Off to make the DAMNED egg, again!"
"No!" My aunt held the magazine (with the pattern in it), in her hand. "I am officially reclaiming this magazine. It is for your own good." Just like that, my aunt had taken the pattern, away from me. There would be no second attempt, to make this egg. I was defeated. This pattern had betrayed me. And now, I would not get to make it better.
Just a few days back, I was reading a Stephanie Pearl Mc-Phee book. In it, she says that "Nothing Is Perfect." Boy, she knows what she is talking about. Remembering her words, on this subject, I dismissed the egg. Some things, are just not meant to be.
Just after 7pm, last night, my family went to the Moose Lodge. (I stayed away from the beer...Just soda. I learned my lesson, on drinking, while at the Moose Lodge.)
While there, I was showing a friend, some of the projects that I have completed. (I have pictures of them, in my phone.) I was showing her the lion, when this blond woman (who was, quite literally, drunk off her ass), came over, and invited herself, into the whole thing. She took my phone, out of my hands (for which, she ALMOST got yelled at.) She looked at the lion (and probably saw double), and asked if I had made it. I told her I had.
Then, I found out, just how dirty this blond woman was.
"You should make some fun items, with yarn. You know, like crochet some boobs, or an ass, or something!" Her words ended, and she almost fell, from the chair she was sitting on.
"No, thank you." I said. I grabbed my phone, from her, and quickly hobbled away.
'What a DAMNED FREAK!', I thought, after I got away from her. Seriously, I pity the yarnie who would actually work things, like this. I mean, seriously...What good would they be? Where would you put them? (I can't even imagine having a big crocheted boob, on my couch. I mean, how DAMNED tacky, is that?)
This woman, who was completely obsessed with the idea of Yarn Porn, continued to pester me, until, finally, I left.
Seriously...that lady needs some damned help!
As for today...another beanie will be made. And, I will try to find something else to start crocheting. With Superbowl, however, I may find that making a single beanie, is good enough.
Time to go!
Happy crocheting!
My mother has this habit, which COMPLETELY drives me FRIGGIN nuts. Worst of all, she KNOWS it drives me nuts, but will still keep right on doing it. Day, after day...After day!!!
She will not say a SINGLE thing to me, in the morning. That is, until I sit down, in front of the computer, and prepare to blog. Then, she is blessed with the Gift of Gab. She just wants to talk away. It doesn't really even matter what she is saying, so long as she can talk. So long as she can interrupt me, from my writing. I think it is a deliberate act. A conspiracy, to keep me, from blogging. I will look at her, every morning, and point, at the computer screen. And, each morning, this is met, with the same reaction. She glares at me, as though I am a total ass, and walks away, saying things like: "PEOPLE NEVER WANT TO LISTEN TO ME!" I swear, my mother is the biggest friggin DRAMA QUEEN, I have EVER had the pleasure of knowing.
So...I hope you are all ready. The quiz is soon, to come. You know you want the beanie.Don't lie, about it.
Well...So much to talk about, in this entry. I guess I will start with the beanie, I made yesterday, and work my way, from there.
Yesterday, after writing my entry, I went to my stash, and pulled out 2 skeins. Bright yellow, and a variegated yarn (blue, green, and a HINT of yellow {not the same shade as the bright yellow skein.}) I went to my chaise. My sweetie pie looked at me, and then the skeins.
"Oh, Michael...no! For the love of GOD...NO!" I got a kiss on the cheek, and was told to "choose another color combo." Then, my sweetie, and mom, took off, to run errands. (They would not tell me, where they were going.)
I was asked, by my mother, to take care of my uncle. (Oh, joy!)
12 pm rolls around, and I am 6 rounds, into my beanie. I had decided to use the yarn, I originally picked. I was planning to work rounds 1-8, in the variegated, and do rounds 9 & 10, in yellow.
I stop working, on the beanie, and ask my uncle, if he is hungry. He tells me no. So, I go back to crocheting. Five minutes later, my aunt walks in, and asks him, if he is hungry.
"Yes," he says. "I told Michael I was, but he just went back to crocheting." This got me a nasty glare, from my aunt.
I looked at my uncle, and I thought to myself, 'you effing (not the word I thought) LIAR!!!' (I swear...I am done, with him.)
My aunt made him lunch. (After that lie, it is a good thing she was here to take care of him. I would have let him friggin starve, or get off his ass, and make his own damned food.)
I finished the beanie, and decided to just ignore my uncle, and my aunt, altogether.
After the beanie, I took some time, to walk around outside. I needed to get away from my uncle (who was hauled up in the house, like some lying friggin HERMIT!) Walking around, outside, I cussed him out. I had a beer, to help relax, before going back inside.
I sat back down, on my chaise, and looked at the beanie. My sweetie did not think the colors would go. But, this beanie looks FRIGGIN awesome. I am very pleased with it.
After admiring my work, I grabbed my burgandy "egg", and the magazine, with the pattern, in it. Before even resuming work on it, I looked at it. I compared what I had already made, to what the picture, in the magazine, showed. And, I had my doubts. But, I remained optimistic. After all, I have done projects in the past, that I swore would not come out right. Yet, in the end, they were PERFECT. This was bound to be another one of those projects.
I started crocheting away!
An hour later, I fastened off the 'body' of the egg, as it is referred to, in the magazine. I made the bottom, and did EVERYTHING the pattern asked me to do.
Yet, I did not get an egg! (This should come as no surprise. I mean, I can barely cook eggs. So, why would I think I could crochet one?)
"What the hell, is this," I asked aloud, as I stared at the 'thing', on the black ottoman. I picked it up, with the tips of my thumb, and index finger, and held it, far away from me. "How DAMNED ugly!" My God...What type of yarn MONSTROSITY, had I created? It was wrong...Just plain WRONG! (It actually ALMOST resembles a wine bottle cozy. I was almost certain, I could pass it off, as this. But, nope! The opening at the top, is not big enough, to fit a wine bottle, into.)
I heard the car, pull into the driveway.
"Crap!" I said. I looked around, for a place to hide this beastly yarn creation. After all, there was really no reason that my sweetie, and mom, ever need to find out, about it.
But, I was not fast enough.
"What have you got here?", My sweetie asked.
"Well..." I told the whole thing. I told how the pattern claimed to be, for a beginner (yet I swear, this is a LIE!)I told how I followed, every part of the pattern, for an egg...Yet, I wound up with this...WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS!"
"Well..." My sweetie said. "Look at it this way. You haven't really failed, on any project, since you first attempted to work the octagon granny square."
"I did not FAIL this!!!" I am sure that I became became very red, in the face. "The pattern is just WRONG!! I did everything right. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!! Fail? Oh, no...Not me. The pattern is the thing that failed. It FAILED me!" I could not stand to look at the burgandy monster, I held in my hand, for a single moment longer. I took it to the trash can, and got rid of it. "I will just do the damned thing, all over again! And, if the results are the same, we will know. The FRIGGIN pattern, is to blame! Off to make the DAMNED egg, again!"
"No!" My aunt held the magazine (with the pattern in it), in her hand. "I am officially reclaiming this magazine. It is for your own good." Just like that, my aunt had taken the pattern, away from me. There would be no second attempt, to make this egg. I was defeated. This pattern had betrayed me. And now, I would not get to make it better.
Just a few days back, I was reading a Stephanie Pearl Mc-Phee book. In it, she says that "Nothing Is Perfect." Boy, she knows what she is talking about. Remembering her words, on this subject, I dismissed the egg. Some things, are just not meant to be.
Just after 7pm, last night, my family went to the Moose Lodge. (I stayed away from the beer...Just soda. I learned my lesson, on drinking, while at the Moose Lodge.)
While there, I was showing a friend, some of the projects that I have completed. (I have pictures of them, in my phone.) I was showing her the lion, when this blond woman (who was, quite literally, drunk off her ass), came over, and invited herself, into the whole thing. She took my phone, out of my hands (for which, she ALMOST got yelled at.) She looked at the lion (and probably saw double), and asked if I had made it. I told her I had.
Then, I found out, just how dirty this blond woman was.
"You should make some fun items, with yarn. You know, like crochet some boobs, or an ass, or something!" Her words ended, and she almost fell, from the chair she was sitting on.
"No, thank you." I said. I grabbed my phone, from her, and quickly hobbled away.
'What a DAMNED FREAK!', I thought, after I got away from her. Seriously, I pity the yarnie who would actually work things, like this. I mean, seriously...What good would they be? Where would you put them? (I can't even imagine having a big crocheted boob, on my couch. I mean, how DAMNED tacky, is that?)
This woman, who was completely obsessed with the idea of Yarn Porn, continued to pester me, until, finally, I left.
Seriously...that lady needs some damned help!
As for today...another beanie will be made. And, I will try to find something else to start crocheting. With Superbowl, however, I may find that making a single beanie, is good enough.
Time to go!
Happy crocheting!