Part 1 Countdown: 10 Days Left. Happy Hats, and a Not-So-Happy Yarnie
Frenemy: One who pretends to be a friend, but is actually an enemy. (Merriam-Webster).
Yesterday, after writing my post (and reading all my fellow blogger's posts) I had breakfast. Scrambled eggs, pancakes, and hashbrowns.
After eating, I went to my yarn stash, and 'shopped', for the yarn, that I would need, to make my first beanie, to donate.
Of course, as mentioned yesterday, I pulled out the yellow, orange, and white variegated yarn. (This yarn is a favorite of mine. And, I just knew it would make a completely WONDERFUL hat, for a little girl.)
But, the variegated yarn was not enough. No, sir. So, I shuffled, through all my yarn, and found a skein of orange acrylic, that matched the orange, in the variegated, PERFECTLY. Then, as I was getting ready to close my yarn cabinet, my eyes found the orange, and white eyelash yarn, tucked away, at the left corner, of the drawer, that I was just about to close. So, I grabbed this, too. I threw the different balls of yarn, into my craft bag, and closed my yarn cabinet. I then went, and parked myself, on my comfy white chaise, where I started working on the hat.
Rounds 1-9, of the hat, are done, in the variegated yarn. As I worked this hat, I giggled nonstop. It was a complete joy, to crochet. And, I thought about the little girl, who would wind up, with this hat. I thought about my FAVORITE variegated yarn, being worked into a gift, that would bring a smile to a child's face. And, as I thought of this, I could not help, but wonder. Is this what the person, who crocheted my blanket, was thinking? Were they thinking of the joy, their gift would bring? As they worked the white, orange, brown, green, and variegated shell-stitch blanket, were they thinking of the joy, that blanket would bring, to the hospital patient, who got it? I think they were!
Round 10...Time to make this hat fun, funky, and completely cute!
I fasted off the variegated yarn, and, for round 10, I grabbed the orange acrylic, and eyelash yarn. I then used both of these yarns, to work the double stitches, that make up the tenth round.
And, you know what? I could have stopped, right there. I could have just finished the hat, after round 10. And it would have been a cute little hat, that would make some little girl, VERY happy.
But, I looked over at the variegated yarn. There was just a tiny ball of it, left. Not even enough to save. So, I figured I would make a brim, for this hat. I connected the variegated yarn, with a slip stitch, and I worked 3 double crochets, in every stitch, of round 10. Wouldn't you know. I had just enough, of the variegated yarn, to do this. By the time, I completed round 11, there were 2 inches left, of the variegated yarn.
The hat was FRIGGIN adorable. And, the brim was this super cute little ruffled brim. I LOVE IT!
But, there was one more thing, to add.
I grabbed the orange yarn, and some white. Using both strands, I crocheted a puffy flower, which I then stitched, to the top, of the hat.
By the time I finished, it was just after 3pm.
Feeling pretty damned proud, over the absolutely ADORABLE hat, I had just produced, I grabbed my forearm canes, and headed outside, to get a bit of walking time in.
Fall number 2, while using the forearm canes, happened yesterday. But, it was not a fall brought about, by loss of balance, or anger, or weak ankles. And, even though there were neighbors, going by the fence, as I took the tumble, I was not embarassed. Not one little bit.
After all, I don't know many people, who could remain standing, when a dog, bulldozes, into them.
As I hit the ground, I started screaming bloody murder, at the dog. (Feel free to enter your favorite curse word here. I am sure that I used it!)
Upon hearing my 'Jerry Springer' vocabulary, the neighbors, walking along the fence, scooped up their child, and hurried away. (Please! Like I am the only one who gets upset, when a dog runs into me, and makes me fall, flat on my ass. Whatever!)
Let me tell you...Trying to get up, on rough terrain, while using forearm canes. Not fun, my friends. Not fun, at all! Eventually (cursing the whole time), I managed to climb back up, to a standing position. I continued my walk, screaming to high hell, if a dog got within a 10 foot radius, of me.
After the 2 acre lap, was finished, I grabbed a beer, and relaxed. I finally noticed the scrape, on my arm, caused by the fall. "STUPID DOG!"
I finished my beer, did another lap, and came inside.
It was just after 6pm, and I had decided that I would make another beanie, yesterday. After all, I had the time. So, why not?
But first, I popped onto the computer, in the office, to check my blog messages.
"Hey there!" A little IM box, popped up, at the bottom of the monitor. It was Heather. Frenemy Heather. (Who needs enemies, in their life, when they have friends, like Heather.) I have often wondered why I continue to associate with her.
"Hey."
(I will now type up the text conversation, exactly as it happened.)
H: So...(Happy face) Guess what I got for you, yesterday?
Me: What?
H: This retro crochet book, from 1966. It is so cute. You crochet, right?
Me: Yup!
(So far, you will notice things have been nice. Now comes the bitchy face, of Heather. Prepare yourself.)
H: So, I was thinking...Wouldn't it be awesome, to crochet some of the projects, in this book, using the UGLY color combos, the patterns ask for? How cool would it be, to have retro blankets?
Me: I wish I could. But, I am days away from the loom knitting part of my Project.
(I am warning you...this gets cruel, from now on.)
H: Your project? Oh, shit, Michael...are you still doing that goofy blog?
Me: Yes...(feeling a bit pissed.) I am still writing the 'goofy' blog!
H: Oh, God...How can I say this...
Me: Say what?
H: Well...You're not a writer, Mike. Well, not a good one, anyway.
(I just looked at her words. I should have shut the computer down, at once. But, I was in shock. )
H: Besides, even if you were this AMAZING writer, who would really even care, to read some lame yarn blog?
I shut down the computer.
I stared at the black screen, in front of me, and I could feel the sides of my mouth, turning downward, into a frown. I felt 'yucky'! Her cruel words were like this type of grime, that had got on my skin. I needed to go clean up.
I got a (very big) glass of wine, and went to the bathroom. On the outside of the door, I taped up a paper, which read: DO NOT DISTURB. OR ELSE!!!
I filled the tub, with hot water. I added half a carton, of Epsom Salt, and 5 cap-fulls, of bubble bath. Before climbing in, I lit 10 candles, and turned off the light.
As I stepped, into the hot bath, I allowed the frown, to finally come. I allowed the tears to fall. I allowed the crying, to begin! I felt like someone had stabbed me, in the stomach.
I didn't think the tears would ever stop.
But, they did. Some time later, when the glass of wine was gone, the sadness turned to anger.
I got out of the bath, got dressed, in PJ's, and went to the computer. I turned it on, and typed out the last thing, I will ever tell Heather.
Me: Maybe I can't write well! Maybe my blog is lame! But, there is one thing, I DEFINITELY know. (I took a deep breath, and let it out.) YOU ARE A GRADE-A BITCH!!! Who the hell do you think you are? At least I have goals...ambitions. What is YOUR goal? To tear down others. Well, you know what...I'm done! DO NOT EVER CONTACT ME, AGAIN!
I sent the message, and turned off the computer. And, you know what? It felt awesome! I FELT AWESOME!
Smiling, the first smile, since getting her hurtful IM's, I went to my stash, and collected the yarn, for the second beanie.
I brought it out, and instantly, my sweetie began. "Lime green. Black. Oh, Michael...NO!"
"Just shut up!" (Alright! It was rude. I admit it. But, I had already had my fair share of crap, yesterday!) "I will work this DAMN beanie, in any colors that I FRIGGIN choose. And no...I did NOT ask for your opinion!" (Before going to bed, I did apologize. I explained the whole day, and was let off the hook.)
And, I worked another cool (in my opinion) beanie.
As for today...
Well, Heather has TRIED to communicate. I just blocked her IM's. (I have also blocked her phone number, on my cell.) I plan on making another beanie (maybe 2) today. And, I will tell myself, throughout the day, a few things.
"This blog is NOT stupid."
"My Project is NOT stupid."
And (judging by the comments I get),"I do have people, who care to read this blog."
Well...That is it, for today.
Happy crocheting!
Yesterday, after writing my post (and reading all my fellow blogger's posts) I had breakfast. Scrambled eggs, pancakes, and hashbrowns.
After eating, I went to my yarn stash, and 'shopped', for the yarn, that I would need, to make my first beanie, to donate.
Of course, as mentioned yesterday, I pulled out the yellow, orange, and white variegated yarn. (This yarn is a favorite of mine. And, I just knew it would make a completely WONDERFUL hat, for a little girl.)
But, the variegated yarn was not enough. No, sir. So, I shuffled, through all my yarn, and found a skein of orange acrylic, that matched the orange, in the variegated, PERFECTLY. Then, as I was getting ready to close my yarn cabinet, my eyes found the orange, and white eyelash yarn, tucked away, at the left corner, of the drawer, that I was just about to close. So, I grabbed this, too. I threw the different balls of yarn, into my craft bag, and closed my yarn cabinet. I then went, and parked myself, on my comfy white chaise, where I started working on the hat.
Rounds 1-9, of the hat, are done, in the variegated yarn. As I worked this hat, I giggled nonstop. It was a complete joy, to crochet. And, I thought about the little girl, who would wind up, with this hat. I thought about my FAVORITE variegated yarn, being worked into a gift, that would bring a smile to a child's face. And, as I thought of this, I could not help, but wonder. Is this what the person, who crocheted my blanket, was thinking? Were they thinking of the joy, their gift would bring? As they worked the white, orange, brown, green, and variegated shell-stitch blanket, were they thinking of the joy, that blanket would bring, to the hospital patient, who got it? I think they were!
Round 10...Time to make this hat fun, funky, and completely cute!
I fasted off the variegated yarn, and, for round 10, I grabbed the orange acrylic, and eyelash yarn. I then used both of these yarns, to work the double stitches, that make up the tenth round.
And, you know what? I could have stopped, right there. I could have just finished the hat, after round 10. And it would have been a cute little hat, that would make some little girl, VERY happy.
But, I looked over at the variegated yarn. There was just a tiny ball of it, left. Not even enough to save. So, I figured I would make a brim, for this hat. I connected the variegated yarn, with a slip stitch, and I worked 3 double crochets, in every stitch, of round 10. Wouldn't you know. I had just enough, of the variegated yarn, to do this. By the time, I completed round 11, there were 2 inches left, of the variegated yarn.
The hat was FRIGGIN adorable. And, the brim was this super cute little ruffled brim. I LOVE IT!
But, there was one more thing, to add.
I grabbed the orange yarn, and some white. Using both strands, I crocheted a puffy flower, which I then stitched, to the top, of the hat.
By the time I finished, it was just after 3pm.
Feeling pretty damned proud, over the absolutely ADORABLE hat, I had just produced, I grabbed my forearm canes, and headed outside, to get a bit of walking time in.
Fall number 2, while using the forearm canes, happened yesterday. But, it was not a fall brought about, by loss of balance, or anger, or weak ankles. And, even though there were neighbors, going by the fence, as I took the tumble, I was not embarassed. Not one little bit.
After all, I don't know many people, who could remain standing, when a dog, bulldozes, into them.
As I hit the ground, I started screaming bloody murder, at the dog. (Feel free to enter your favorite curse word here. I am sure that I used it!)
Upon hearing my 'Jerry Springer' vocabulary, the neighbors, walking along the fence, scooped up their child, and hurried away. (Please! Like I am the only one who gets upset, when a dog runs into me, and makes me fall, flat on my ass. Whatever!)
Let me tell you...Trying to get up, on rough terrain, while using forearm canes. Not fun, my friends. Not fun, at all! Eventually (cursing the whole time), I managed to climb back up, to a standing position. I continued my walk, screaming to high hell, if a dog got within a 10 foot radius, of me.
After the 2 acre lap, was finished, I grabbed a beer, and relaxed. I finally noticed the scrape, on my arm, caused by the fall. "STUPID DOG!"
I finished my beer, did another lap, and came inside.
It was just after 6pm, and I had decided that I would make another beanie, yesterday. After all, I had the time. So, why not?
But first, I popped onto the computer, in the office, to check my blog messages.
"Hey there!" A little IM box, popped up, at the bottom of the monitor. It was Heather. Frenemy Heather. (Who needs enemies, in their life, when they have friends, like Heather.) I have often wondered why I continue to associate with her.
"Hey."
(I will now type up the text conversation, exactly as it happened.)
H: So...(Happy face) Guess what I got for you, yesterday?
Me: What?
H: This retro crochet book, from 1966. It is so cute. You crochet, right?
Me: Yup!
(So far, you will notice things have been nice. Now comes the bitchy face, of Heather. Prepare yourself.)
H: So, I was thinking...Wouldn't it be awesome, to crochet some of the projects, in this book, using the UGLY color combos, the patterns ask for? How cool would it be, to have retro blankets?
Me: I wish I could. But, I am days away from the loom knitting part of my Project.
(I am warning you...this gets cruel, from now on.)
H: Your project? Oh, shit, Michael...are you still doing that goofy blog?
Me: Yes...(feeling a bit pissed.) I am still writing the 'goofy' blog!
H: Oh, God...How can I say this...
Me: Say what?
H: Well...You're not a writer, Mike. Well, not a good one, anyway.
(I just looked at her words. I should have shut the computer down, at once. But, I was in shock. )
H: Besides, even if you were this AMAZING writer, who would really even care, to read some lame yarn blog?
I shut down the computer.
I stared at the black screen, in front of me, and I could feel the sides of my mouth, turning downward, into a frown. I felt 'yucky'! Her cruel words were like this type of grime, that had got on my skin. I needed to go clean up.
I got a (very big) glass of wine, and went to the bathroom. On the outside of the door, I taped up a paper, which read: DO NOT DISTURB. OR ELSE!!!
I filled the tub, with hot water. I added half a carton, of Epsom Salt, and 5 cap-fulls, of bubble bath. Before climbing in, I lit 10 candles, and turned off the light.
As I stepped, into the hot bath, I allowed the frown, to finally come. I allowed the tears to fall. I allowed the crying, to begin! I felt like someone had stabbed me, in the stomach.
I didn't think the tears would ever stop.
But, they did. Some time later, when the glass of wine was gone, the sadness turned to anger.
I got out of the bath, got dressed, in PJ's, and went to the computer. I turned it on, and typed out the last thing, I will ever tell Heather.
Me: Maybe I can't write well! Maybe my blog is lame! But, there is one thing, I DEFINITELY know. (I took a deep breath, and let it out.) YOU ARE A GRADE-A BITCH!!! Who the hell do you think you are? At least I have goals...ambitions. What is YOUR goal? To tear down others. Well, you know what...I'm done! DO NOT EVER CONTACT ME, AGAIN!
I sent the message, and turned off the computer. And, you know what? It felt awesome! I FELT AWESOME!
Smiling, the first smile, since getting her hurtful IM's, I went to my stash, and collected the yarn, for the second beanie.
I brought it out, and instantly, my sweetie began. "Lime green. Black. Oh, Michael...NO!"
"Just shut up!" (Alright! It was rude. I admit it. But, I had already had my fair share of crap, yesterday!) "I will work this DAMN beanie, in any colors that I FRIGGIN choose. And no...I did NOT ask for your opinion!" (Before going to bed, I did apologize. I explained the whole day, and was let off the hook.)
And, I worked another cool (in my opinion) beanie.
As for today...
Well, Heather has TRIED to communicate. I just blocked her IM's. (I have also blocked her phone number, on my cell.) I plan on making another beanie (maybe 2) today. And, I will tell myself, throughout the day, a few things.
"This blog is NOT stupid."
"My Project is NOT stupid."
And (judging by the comments I get),"I do have people, who care to read this blog."
Well...That is it, for today.
Happy crocheting!