The Piss-Poor Pattern
Here I am. After I am finished writing, I will get my day, started. A bath, breakfast, and I will be A-Okay.
But first...
I honestly belive it is time to go into a full out complain-fest, over the Wavy Baby Blanket pattern, designed by Kim Biddix.
Ok...let me start by saying that, even when I started my first attempt at this project, a few days back, I knew something was funky, about it. I mean, the pattern clearly shows a 'ripple' effect, for the blanket. And, as for my attempt. Well...It certainly did not have that desired ripple effect...That's for sure.
Nope. Mine had a different look. One might call it a curvy effect. Instead of a shape, that resembles pointy-topped mountains, mine looked more like curvy-topped hills. Not that it was ugly, by any measure. It just wasn't the desired outcome.
But, what was I to do? I mean, I was going from the pattern. I was doing EXACTLY as it asked. And, as a result, my work was suffering.
It sucked. Big-time.
"You know," said a visitor, I had over, yesterday. "This pattern is complete shit." She has been crocheting for a great number of years. "It is no wonder, your work is looking like that." Boy, this made me feel great. It is good to know that I am not the only one, who sees this pattern as terrible.
Let us go back, for reference, to yesterday's entry. If you remember, I wrote the wavy stitch is a multiple of 13 sts + 4. You are only given one row, in this pattern. And, you are asked to ...sc in the next 5 sts +. Ok. Now, doesn't that seem like it is asking you to do 9 stitches? That is the impression I got. Yet, for the downward slope., you are only asked to do 5 stitches. Hence, a rounded top.
"Well," my comrade continued, staring still at the pattern. "There is NO way this designer made the blanket, seen here, using this pattern, as it is written.
As she was saying this, I popped on over, to Ravelry. I did a search, for this blanket, to see what would pop up. Guess what. There was nothing! Under the name Kim Biddix, there were a few things. None of them were this pattern. So, as far as I know, this pattern is C-R-A-P!
At first, part of me wanted to keep going. Just keep doing the bad-blanket, following the pattern, word for word. When I was done, I would post a picture, of the failure, and write out that this particular pattern, had led me astray.
But, then, I decided not to do this. Part of my whole thing, when starting The Yarn Project, was to create PERFECT projects. Yes, I did say I would follow the patterns, in this book. But, you know what. I would rather have a great finished piece, created from working, away from the pattern, then have a crumby piece, becasue I follow the pattern, word for word.
So, this individual showed me the right way, to do this stitch, and I am going by that. That is right, I have abandoned the pattern, as seen in the book. I took a red marker, yesterday, and put a big "X" through this pattern,. (Yep...This pattern has been marked with a scarlet letter.)
I am happy to say that now, following the advice of my fellow yarnie, I am getting the ripple result, I was after.
Now, about the piss-poor pattern.
A few things:
First: I must ask, is the writer of this pattern, FRIGGIN afraid of words. I mean, it is like text was the enemy. It is sad...The space used, to tell you what yarns, the pattern calls for, covers almost as much page space, as the pattern, itself. That is just NOT right. Then, what instructions ARE there, are written in way that (at least to me) is ASS -BACKWARDS! Ok, check this out. This pattern starts off, with telling you about the set-up row. Next, you get "row 1" (or the main part of this horrible patten.) Next, you get a helpful. hint. And finally, you are told, at the bottom of the FRIGGIN pattern, how many stitches, to put in your initial chain.
Now, tell me.... Does that make one damn bit of sense?
This pattern should not be found in a book titled I Taught Myself Crochet. No way. This pattern would serve better, in a book with a title such as: Ways To Make Crocheting, Hard As Hell!
What really gets me, is this. This book was published by the Wright company. It proudly displays the name BOYE, which is a big name, in the crocheting and knitting worlds. Therefore, you would expect better. At least I would.
On the back of this book, there is the address for the publishing company. I am more than a little tempted to write a letter, saying that I am very disappointed with this pattern. But, I am a logical person. This company probably gets thousands of letters daily. If I were to do this, I would be just another envelope. I probably would not even get read. Still though, it is tempting. I cannot say it isn't.
Hell...I could write this pattern, better.
It is like this pattern was MEANT to confuse. I am completely baffled, by this. I have to ask, if this pattern was even read, before it got published in this book.
Oh well.
Like I said, I am going with the verbal instruction, offered to me, yesterday. And, only a few rows in, I can say that I am getting GREAT results.
Well, that will do it, for today, I guess. I have given more than my fair share of bitching, in this entry. And now, I can relax.
I can go, start my day, and work this blanket, with a method that ACTUALLY works.
One final thing. For those who have had bad patterns, in the past, I am sorry. I know your pain.
Happy crocheting!