Thanks, You Guys!
So, yesterday...
When I sat down, at my computer, to write, I was beyond depressed. A whole friggin bottle of Zoloft would not have been able to remove the funk, that I had slipped into. There I was, in front of my computer, doing what I do, every day. I signed into my blog, looked at the blank page (which was just waiting to be filled with pearls of fiber-filled wisdom), and for the first time, since June 9, I did not, in ANY friggin way, feel like writing. I simply had no desire to pound out words.
For the first time, I detested this blog! I LOATHED IT!
Still, I knew I had to write.
So, I set out to do just that. I wrote about how I felt like a complete failure. I wrote about my disappointment, that I had in myself. I wrote about how I set out to make my afghan, before going on the cruise. And, I wrote about how, sadly, I have come to the conclusion, that this will not happen.
Yesterday's entry...well. It was short, and not so sweet.
By the time I was done, with the few paragraphs that made yesterday's entry, I felt like complete HELL.
Yes,this afghan will get done. And, I still know that I will do each project that I have set out to do. That wasn't the problem.
The problem was this. I had to face a scary realization, yesterday. I realized that, as much as I hate it, my perfect little fantasy of finishing this MASSIVE afghan, before the cruise, would remain just that...A fantasy. I was not OKAY with this.
I signed off of the internet, and went to take a bath. Bubbles, candles...the whole friggin 9 yards. I figured I could lose myself, in a nice, relaxing bath. I figured that, by the time I got out, I would be A-Ok. That didn't happen. I got out, still depressed. I went into my room, looked at my craft bag, and felt like the biggest failure, known to mankind.
And, that feeling did not go away.
Well...not until I read the first message, sent in by a reader.
You guys helped me, so much yesterday. You pulled me out of the Sea of Depression, that I was quickly sinking into.
You all made me think of one little detail I had not thought of, on my own.
I set out, at the beginning of this month, to make an afghan for a Queen sized bed. I had given myself one month, to make a QUEEN SIZED AFGHAN. Then, the project changed. It grew. It went from queen, to cal-king. And, though my project grew, the timeframe remained the same.
After realizing this (thanks to all of you), I looked at what I have finished, of this afghan, so far. And, I started to feel better.
If I had left it for a Queen, it would, at this point, be done. What I have created would fit a queen perfectly. So, in a way, I haven't failed. Not really. My original goal was to cover a queen bed, before the cruise. And, I have successfully done it.
Now...
I will still bust my ass, to get my aghan to its new, improved, Cal-King size. But, I will not feel like failure. It won't be done, before the cruise. There is no damned way. Oh well. Boo-FRIGGIN-hoo!!!
So, yestereday, I started working on this afghan. And, I went at it, with hope, thanks to all of you.
I worked on it, for about 2 hours, before yet another distraction, popped up.
A glorious distraction.
My brother came by, for an unexpected visit.
He lives in Las Vegas, so I rarely get to see him. I was thrilled! The morning started off, beyond shitty. But, the day was looking better, by the minute.
With his arrival, the afghan went back in the bag. And, it will not come out, until tomorrow, when he departs.
And you know what.
Funny thing here...for once, I am ok with not having crochet time. With your kind words, and his arrival, the Anal-Crocheter, went away...at least for a few days.
So, there you have it.
Time for me to go, and enjoy the time with my family.
Happy crocheting, to you all.
And, thank you, again!
When I sat down, at my computer, to write, I was beyond depressed. A whole friggin bottle of Zoloft would not have been able to remove the funk, that I had slipped into. There I was, in front of my computer, doing what I do, every day. I signed into my blog, looked at the blank page (which was just waiting to be filled with pearls of fiber-filled wisdom), and for the first time, since June 9, I did not, in ANY friggin way, feel like writing. I simply had no desire to pound out words.
For the first time, I detested this blog! I LOATHED IT!
Still, I knew I had to write.
So, I set out to do just that. I wrote about how I felt like a complete failure. I wrote about my disappointment, that I had in myself. I wrote about how I set out to make my afghan, before going on the cruise. And, I wrote about how, sadly, I have come to the conclusion, that this will not happen.
Yesterday's entry...well. It was short, and not so sweet.
By the time I was done, with the few paragraphs that made yesterday's entry, I felt like complete HELL.
Yes,this afghan will get done. And, I still know that I will do each project that I have set out to do. That wasn't the problem.
The problem was this. I had to face a scary realization, yesterday. I realized that, as much as I hate it, my perfect little fantasy of finishing this MASSIVE afghan, before the cruise, would remain just that...A fantasy. I was not OKAY with this.
I signed off of the internet, and went to take a bath. Bubbles, candles...the whole friggin 9 yards. I figured I could lose myself, in a nice, relaxing bath. I figured that, by the time I got out, I would be A-Ok. That didn't happen. I got out, still depressed. I went into my room, looked at my craft bag, and felt like the biggest failure, known to mankind.
And, that feeling did not go away.
Well...not until I read the first message, sent in by a reader.
You guys helped me, so much yesterday. You pulled me out of the Sea of Depression, that I was quickly sinking into.
You all made me think of one little detail I had not thought of, on my own.
I set out, at the beginning of this month, to make an afghan for a Queen sized bed. I had given myself one month, to make a QUEEN SIZED AFGHAN. Then, the project changed. It grew. It went from queen, to cal-king. And, though my project grew, the timeframe remained the same.
After realizing this (thanks to all of you), I looked at what I have finished, of this afghan, so far. And, I started to feel better.
If I had left it for a Queen, it would, at this point, be done. What I have created would fit a queen perfectly. So, in a way, I haven't failed. Not really. My original goal was to cover a queen bed, before the cruise. And, I have successfully done it.
Now...
I will still bust my ass, to get my aghan to its new, improved, Cal-King size. But, I will not feel like failure. It won't be done, before the cruise. There is no damned way. Oh well. Boo-FRIGGIN-hoo!!!
So, yestereday, I started working on this afghan. And, I went at it, with hope, thanks to all of you.
I worked on it, for about 2 hours, before yet another distraction, popped up.
A glorious distraction.
My brother came by, for an unexpected visit.
He lives in Las Vegas, so I rarely get to see him. I was thrilled! The morning started off, beyond shitty. But, the day was looking better, by the minute.
With his arrival, the afghan went back in the bag. And, it will not come out, until tomorrow, when he departs.
And you know what.
Funny thing here...for once, I am ok with not having crochet time. With your kind words, and his arrival, the Anal-Crocheter, went away...at least for a few days.
So, there you have it.
Time for me to go, and enjoy the time with my family.
Happy crocheting, to you all.
And, thank you, again!