Beat myself up
I am filled right now with an incredible amount of self loathing. I look around and come up empty for new ways and means to hurt myself even more than I already have. I feel bad for those that are in my life. I am not the best person I could be for them and I doubt that anybody has seen the best I can do for a really long time. When the anger is gone the emptiness fills and the emptiness is more painful than the anger. I just want it all to end. I want a normal fucking life for once. I will give it all up just for one moment of fucking peace in my life. I want to do the best I can without destroying myself............................................Help me.