This is for myself
I was going to post a passive-aggressive prelude to all of this but looking through my browser I doubt anyone is reading this but myself. If I am the only one reading this, then I’ll write this for myself as I planned originally.
Prep for Oddmall was absolute hell; I didn’t have to prep just for Oddmall but also for the VA center Earthday two weeks prior, and also dogsitting for Henrique/Henwolf the week between and my brother’s dogs, as well as filming for the trailer for Slaughterhouse Slumber Party - and on top of that prepping for every other show I have. So obviously, that last week was awful and wonderful at the same time.
Jon’s dogs are stupid and adorable and awful and their only saving grace is that I can leave them alone for more than 12 hours and not worry about them destroying the house. Henwolf’s saving grace is that her mamaw (Henrique’s mom) treats her like a granddaughter and will help take care of her when I need.
Drive up to Toledo was wonderful - please keep in mind that less than three weeks prior I had spent over $500 to have the engine of my car cleaned because I’m awful and didn’t get regular oil changes so the engine was ready to die. So I drove almost 150 miles by myself rocking Hamilton because (thanks to Dave a week before) I was hooked.
Filming was good. Erin was there and that made me happy, but she’s suffering from kidney stones so her acting abilities are shot. Haley Madison was also there - I’ve heard so much about her but never gotten to act with her so I have literally no baseline. Kaylie was there, that made me happy, but within an hour she was drunk AF and it made it hard to work with her.
Still dealing with alcoholism, I remained sober the whole time I was booked to act; there was talk on the side from some other actresses about “I’m an alcoholic I’m ok” but Dustin couldn’t notice because he was directing and I said nothing because it’s not my place.
Working with everyone was fun. The pillow fight scene was especially invigorating because Dustin’s only direction was “have fun and look sexy” and I was one of the only people who was totally nude.
After that it was makeup, and then an hour or so acting like a Freddy/Jason hybrid but with boobs. It made me so happy to snarl in front of Dustin’s camera. Did I mention that I’m the bad guy and thus I get to be a monster? Because that makes me extra happy: with Henrique’s movies I get to pretend that I’m a monster, and in Dustin’s movies I am the monster - subtle difference that makes it all worthwhile .
So filming for my parts wrapped right when I needed them to, I hopped in my car and as I started it the check engine light came on. No big deal, the guys at the car repair office said that might happen since I abused it, and it probably needed new oil. I checked the oil and it was low, so as I hunted down a Walmart in a town I don’t know, the Very Bad Check Oil Light came on.
Please remember I was in my makeup the entire time I browsed Walmart and serviced my car. I made small talk about being an actress with the lady at the self-service counter, all while texting Dave (who, at about 100 Miles, was the closest to me) about a backup plan. Serviced my car with no changes in performance or service-light changes so I drove back to the SHSP house and sat around while everyone did their job.
I took a couple shots (after being more than a month sober because FUCK IT) and finally when everyone was going to bed my service lights turned off and I drove home to Dayton at 3AM. I took care of Jon’s dogs at 5am and I was back at Hen’s house by 6am. He was texting me by 7:30AM asking how his baby was and I was responding with non-committal basic texts the whole time.
All of last week was a blur because I was short on rent, had to Dash during the worst-paying days, and ask my parents for money to get myself by.
To my parents’ credit not only did they help me pay rent, my dad also gave me a self-defense handgun and ammunition (because I’d mentioned Bad Ronald and The Attic) and advice on how to handle it, but they gave me almost twice what I needed for rent, and asked in all sincerity how Henrique is doing (I lied and said he’s doing fine; he’s doing anything but.) Between filming for SHSP, pet-sitting for myself and others, and trying to prep for multiple art shows I was shot.
To be totally honest, all I remember of last week is painting 3D prints and - during my DoorDash shifts - telling Henrique which models to print.
Friday morning he kept encouraging me to sleep in, and then to work on painting my prints for Oddmall; he needed to reset the sights on his home-defense gun, get his hair cut, and a million other things before the show. We left around 2pm and arrive at our hotel around 5pm.
He surprised me by taking us to a Grandpa’s Cheesebarn while I napped (a location-destination any Ohioan has) I ruined the surprise by waking up from a nap while he was turning around in an intersection. My first sentient thoughts for that day were to squeal, “Grandpa’s Cheesebarn??? CHEEEEEEESE!!!!!!!” We meandered around in the shop and bought cheese and meat to share during the last half of the drive.
I was too stoked to nap after that (so my job was to provide meats, cheeses, and sodas as required upon request.) I would like to pretend that at that point my name was “cheesebitch,”
When we checked in at the hotel and unloaded I realized I was missing two very important things: business cards (I didn’t have the money to order more) and makeup (I had left my makeup bag on the couch, and forgot to dig them out when the Henman arrived from Jersey.) So after checking in for our hotel room Henrique quickly came up with a plan: Staples was less than a quarter mile away to make business cards, and Walmart was less than a half mile away, so let’s get what we need to get and then relax.)
This was a Big Deal to me because when I was married to Max it was a Huge Fucking Deal that would Break a Weekend: in years prior I had forgotten such supplies and it destroyed my life, but not with a professional. We printed new business cards and cut them ourselves (and apparently my cutting abilities are professional according to the Henman), and thanks to his mom I was able to buy a new makeup kit at basically half price. (But I saved the receipt to write it off because fuck it.)
We got Sheetz, which is amazing and is one of the common themes of my previous entries, and I dozed in and out of sleep while we watched Oz (oh my GOD please don’t tell him because I don’t want to go back just to remind myself of all the terrible things everyone in this series has done.)
Oddly enough, on the first day of Oddmall I woke up before the alarm (and even before the crazy boyfriend) and prepped myself before he needed to. Day one of sales went phenomenally; with all the small-item sales I was able to make back what I spent on the booth and our hotel room.
I could tell halfway that Henrique was dragging ass: not only was he losing in sales, but a lot of people were acting derisive toward his original BLU-rays. He and I both stepped up our sales-game and by the end at 6pm we felt good.
I convinced him to go to a hibachi restaurant when we finished with the [I started writing this a year ago. I ne5ver finished. This is the end of this story]
Prep for Oddmall was absolute hell; I didn’t have to prep just for Oddmall but also for the VA center Earthday two weeks prior, and also dogsitting for Henrique/Henwolf the week between and my brother’s dogs, as well as filming for the trailer for Slaughterhouse Slumber Party - and on top of that prepping for every other show I have. So obviously, that last week was awful and wonderful at the same time.
Jon’s dogs are stupid and adorable and awful and their only saving grace is that I can leave them alone for more than 12 hours and not worry about them destroying the house. Henwolf’s saving grace is that her mamaw (Henrique’s mom) treats her like a granddaughter and will help take care of her when I need.
Drive up to Toledo was wonderful - please keep in mind that less than three weeks prior I had spent over $500 to have the engine of my car cleaned because I’m awful and didn’t get regular oil changes so the engine was ready to die. So I drove almost 150 miles by myself rocking Hamilton because (thanks to Dave a week before) I was hooked.
Filming was good. Erin was there and that made me happy, but she’s suffering from kidney stones so her acting abilities are shot. Haley Madison was also there - I’ve heard so much about her but never gotten to act with her so I have literally no baseline. Kaylie was there, that made me happy, but within an hour she was drunk AF and it made it hard to work with her.
Still dealing with alcoholism, I remained sober the whole time I was booked to act; there was talk on the side from some other actresses about “I’m an alcoholic I’m ok” but Dustin couldn’t notice because he was directing and I said nothing because it’s not my place.
Working with everyone was fun. The pillow fight scene was especially invigorating because Dustin’s only direction was “have fun and look sexy” and I was one of the only people who was totally nude.
After that it was makeup, and then an hour or so acting like a Freddy/Jason hybrid but with boobs. It made me so happy to snarl in front of Dustin’s camera. Did I mention that I’m the bad guy and thus I get to be a monster? Because that makes me extra happy: with Henrique’s movies I get to pretend that I’m a monster, and in Dustin’s movies I am the monster - subtle difference that makes it all worthwhile .
So filming for my parts wrapped right when I needed them to, I hopped in my car and as I started it the check engine light came on. No big deal, the guys at the car repair office said that might happen since I abused it, and it probably needed new oil. I checked the oil and it was low, so as I hunted down a Walmart in a town I don’t know, the Very Bad Check Oil Light came on.
Please remember I was in my makeup the entire time I browsed Walmart and serviced my car. I made small talk about being an actress with the lady at the self-service counter, all while texting Dave (who, at about 100 Miles, was the closest to me) about a backup plan. Serviced my car with no changes in performance or service-light changes so I drove back to the SHSP house and sat around while everyone did their job.
I took a couple shots (after being more than a month sober because FUCK IT) and finally when everyone was going to bed my service lights turned off and I drove home to Dayton at 3AM. I took care of Jon’s dogs at 5am and I was back at Hen’s house by 6am. He was texting me by 7:30AM asking how his baby was and I was responding with non-committal basic texts the whole time.
All of last week was a blur because I was short on rent, had to Dash during the worst-paying days, and ask my parents for money to get myself by.
To my parents’ credit not only did they help me pay rent, my dad also gave me a self-defense handgun and ammunition (because I’d mentioned Bad Ronald and The Attic) and advice on how to handle it, but they gave me almost twice what I needed for rent, and asked in all sincerity how Henrique is doing (I lied and said he’s doing fine; he’s doing anything but.) Between filming for SHSP, pet-sitting for myself and others, and trying to prep for multiple art shows I was shot.
To be totally honest, all I remember of last week is painting 3D prints and - during my DoorDash shifts - telling Henrique which models to print.
Friday morning he kept encouraging me to sleep in, and then to work on painting my prints for Oddmall; he needed to reset the sights on his home-defense gun, get his hair cut, and a million other things before the show. We left around 2pm and arrive at our hotel around 5pm.
He surprised me by taking us to a Grandpa’s Cheesebarn while I napped (a location-destination any Ohioan has) I ruined the surprise by waking up from a nap while he was turning around in an intersection. My first sentient thoughts for that day were to squeal, “Grandpa’s Cheesebarn??? CHEEEEEEESE!!!!!!!” We meandered around in the shop and bought cheese and meat to share during the last half of the drive.
I was too stoked to nap after that (so my job was to provide meats, cheeses, and sodas as required upon request.) I would like to pretend that at that point my name was “cheesebitch,”
When we checked in at the hotel and unloaded I realized I was missing two very important things: business cards (I didn’t have the money to order more) and makeup (I had left my makeup bag on the couch, and forgot to dig them out when the Henman arrived from Jersey.) So after checking in for our hotel room Henrique quickly came up with a plan: Staples was less than a quarter mile away to make business cards, and Walmart was less than a half mile away, so let’s get what we need to get and then relax.)
This was a Big Deal to me because when I was married to Max it was a Huge Fucking Deal that would Break a Weekend: in years prior I had forgotten such supplies and it destroyed my life, but not with a professional. We printed new business cards and cut them ourselves (and apparently my cutting abilities are professional according to the Henman), and thanks to his mom I was able to buy a new makeup kit at basically half price. (But I saved the receipt to write it off because fuck it.)
We got Sheetz, which is amazing and is one of the common themes of my previous entries, and I dozed in and out of sleep while we watched Oz (oh my GOD please don’t tell him because I don’t want to go back just to remind myself of all the terrible things everyone in this series has done.)
Oddly enough, on the first day of Oddmall I woke up before the alarm (and even before the crazy boyfriend) and prepped myself before he needed to. Day one of sales went phenomenally; with all the small-item sales I was able to make back what I spent on the booth and our hotel room.
I could tell halfway that Henrique was dragging ass: not only was he losing in sales, but a lot of people were acting derisive toward his original BLU-rays. He and I both stepped up our sales-game and by the end at 6pm we felt good.
I convinced him to go to a hibachi restaurant when we finished with the [I started writing this a year ago. I ne5ver finished. This is the end of this story]