(no subject)
people are leaving. and when this happens.. final confirmations are needed. these confirmations of friendship. that they will always be there.. that no matter how one's character changes, the so called "core" of someone remains. trust must be placed that both of you will still be able to talk when you have nothing else in common. trust must be established that although context is gone, history wont. and ultimately, that you will be still you and the memory of your old friend will not die. that the old friend will not die into oblivion. because death doesnt cause you to lose a friend, change does.
in any case, i realise the reason i looked forward so much to book out was because i couldnt find meaning in what i was doing. in the army. i still dont. but this week, i believe i have gained some meaning in my role in the army. and thankfully, i've gained meaning from the people in my platoon. i am not particularly bummed that i got 3 extra because it will be spent in the company of friends.
i realised the reason for the emptiness of the past few months was a result of the lack of meaning. sounds obvious. but for me... i thought my "meaning" was in spending time with my family and friends.. and yes, that IS part of the meaning.. but i realised i had spent a majority of my time LACKING this meaning. 5 days a week. and though i thought i could ignore it.. i realise i cant. i need to engage.
kevin said that i could go on autopilot and still do okay. 'its your defence mechanism when i dont care'. i realise how true that is.. but you cant go through your life on autopilot... just like adam sandler in click.. you end up missing all the important things.. sadness, sorrow, regret. and you come out of it as though you havent lived anything.perhaps thats why i really liked click... despite what others thought.
the late night talk after the ld exco met in vivo with jack and fish just made me realise how mcuh i missed the conversation. the intellectual battles on logic and emotion. of people and concepts. made me feel alive again...so yeah. thanks guys.
this weekend has been eventful. the most eventful yet. oh yeah, goodbye amanda! may you remember all the turbulent times we had together... goodbye karen! even though i havent met you in a while.. and you kinda disappeared... all the best to you! my lit wing head! and lastly, thanks tam. for everything.
lol. what a emo post. lol. OH WELL, i guess i can afford it sometimes. :X
in any case, i realise the reason i looked forward so much to book out was because i couldnt find meaning in what i was doing. in the army. i still dont. but this week, i believe i have gained some meaning in my role in the army. and thankfully, i've gained meaning from the people in my platoon. i am not particularly bummed that i got 3 extra because it will be spent in the company of friends.
i realised the reason for the emptiness of the past few months was a result of the lack of meaning. sounds obvious. but for me... i thought my "meaning" was in spending time with my family and friends.. and yes, that IS part of the meaning.. but i realised i had spent a majority of my time LACKING this meaning. 5 days a week. and though i thought i could ignore it.. i realise i cant. i need to engage.
kevin said that i could go on autopilot and still do okay. 'its your defence mechanism when i dont care'. i realise how true that is.. but you cant go through your life on autopilot... just like adam sandler in click.. you end up missing all the important things.. sadness, sorrow, regret. and you come out of it as though you havent lived anything.perhaps thats why i really liked click... despite what others thought.
the late night talk after the ld exco met in vivo with jack and fish just made me realise how mcuh i missed the conversation. the intellectual battles on logic and emotion. of people and concepts. made me feel alive again...so yeah. thanks guys.
this weekend has been eventful. the most eventful yet. oh yeah, goodbye amanda! may you remember all the turbulent times we had together... goodbye karen! even though i havent met you in a while.. and you kinda disappeared... all the best to you! my lit wing head! and lastly, thanks tam. for everything.
lol. what a emo post. lol. OH WELL, i guess i can afford it sometimes. :X