PRINCETON PLAINSBORO THEATRE 3000 - Season 3 Ep 8: Cameron, A Princess? (Chapter 5)
Aaand here, it is, the Christmas episode!
Enjoy!
In a not too distant future
Next Tuesday more or less
There was the acerbic Dr. House
who of rules couldn't care less
He worked at Princeton Hospital,
No white coat for him as usual
He worked on cases which were really weird
And when he noticed bad!fic his evil side was thrilled...
'I'll read my colleagues cheesy bad!fic,
The worse I can find,
They'll have to sit and read them all
and I'll monitor their minds (if they have any).'
Now keep in mind House can control
when the bad!fic begins or ends
But don't you dare think that he'd ever spare
his dear colleagues and friends
Princeton role call:
Cuddy (I guess I'm close to get that baby...)
Foreman (I'm a fellow... except not.)
Chase (Right here, Mate!)
Cameron (Am I still in the show?)
WIIIIIILSON! (Here's for an angsty Season 5!)
If you wonder how they eat and breathe
and other science facts
Now keep in mind "It's a hospital,
I should really just relax,
House: Did I mention Tritter's here?
Tritter: Have yourself a merry MST3K Christmas...
For Princeton Plainsboro Theatre 3000!!!"
Mark and Derek sit idly by and chat about everything and nothing until they
hear an ominous noise.
They turn around... and the sound stops.
Then it comes back, nearer and nearer; it's dreadful and terrifying.
Derek: What the Hell was THAT?
Mark: I'd say that the Chinese Takeaway around the corner's butchering a
bunch of cats for their holiday meat surprise.
The noise comes even nearer, and... it's Wilson playing the bagpipe!
Thank God, Bad!Fic Sign flashes, and everybody screams
All: AAAAAHHHH.... WE'VE GOT BAD!FIC SIGN!!!!
[Doors 1-6, they go into the theater]
A/N: Hey guys thanks so much for the reviews for the last chapter, reviews
are
much appreciated, they are my new addiction, lol.
All: Psycho.
Here's chapter 5.
Once House has landed in New Jersey he is greeted by Wilson so he doesn't
have
to go through the trouble of calling a cab.
Cameron: That's quite a bit of oversimplification, isn't it?
"So I take it Cameron's not coming back?" Wilson questioned.
"Yeah, she is staying with her mother, nothing good will come out of this.
Wilson: I beg to differ.
I
have been chatting with her mother for months and never told her about it,
her
mother is a bad evil person if only Allsion knew what that woman was capable
of," House said to Wilson.
Chase: Allsion? Who is she? Another twin sister?
Derek: *Church Lady* Could it be... SATAN?
"Well why don't you tell her?" Wilson asked his friend.
"I tried to but she wouldn't hear one word of it," House said, "she said that
this may be her only chance to get to know her mother. She didn't even know
that
she had a sister until she heard from me," House tried to explain.
Mark: *Church Lady* And we all know how conveeeeeeenient that is!
"Cameron has a sister?" Wilson questioned. He was surprised because of all
the
new information his was learning about his co-worker.
Mark: His what?
House: His pen-
All: HOUSE!
"Yeah, she has a sister. A twin sister actually," House started, "I haven't
met
her but from what I have heard about her from her mother, she is nothing like
Allison, she is evil."
All: EEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL!!!!
"So you left Cameron in a city with two evil people?" Wilson questioned,
still a
bit confused as to why House didn't
Cuddy: Move there? It's idilliac compared to NJ!
use one of his forcing techniques to make
her come back, "You need to go back and get her whether she wants to come or
not," Wilson said.
Foreman: Lying through his teeth.
"She won't come. And also her mother won't let me back there anymore after I
refused to marry Allison," House said
House: Come with me if you want to live!
knowing he would regret saying that.
"Wow, Allison asked you to marry her--" Wilson started before House cut him
off.
Chase: Literally.
"No she didn't her mother asked me to marry Allison, because Allison needs a
husband to be queen and I refused. I would rather have her come back to
Princeton and work for me," House said.
Foreman: Good luck!
"So you miss her yet you left her in another country?" Wilson said,
Wilson: I love you!
"What the
hell are you still doing here!"
Jack: *Wilson* Go get me a sandwich!
"You haven't been listening at all have you," House said in a sarcastic
voice.
Cuddy: So, it means he meant that he thought Wilson was actually listening?
Im confused...
Others: Join the club.
"If you really want to I will come with you. We can't let her mother harm her
or
do anything to her that she doesn't want done.
Wilson: A T-1000 would be really helpful right now...
Has she rang you since you left
her?" Wilson asked.
Bree: No, but that might be because I sent Cromartie to her house and told
him she was Sarah Connor... oops...
"She rang me before I hopped on the plane
Jack: *looks at House* *giggles*
and I don't know because I haven't
turned my phone back on since then, I will check though," he said as he
reached
for his phone and turned it on.
Tritter: Oh the suspense.... will he water his lawn?
Sawyer: He does not even *have* a lawn!
Tritter: My point exactly.
To his surprised he had two missed calls, one of them which
Foreman: GAH!
left a voicemail and
he had several text messages all from
Chase: The future!
Chakushin Ari Ringtone: *plays*
Everybody: *is spooked*
Cameron's phone, so he showed Wilson.
"Well look at them," Wilson said, "make sure she is alright."
Chase: Number one, from Santa Claus: "Why don't they look?"
House did what he was told and checked his voicemail: 'House, it's me
Cameron, I
think you may be right, I know you haven't even been gone a day but my mother
she has gone psycho.
Brennan: Maybe she is in a 'Frenzy'!
Chase: Killing her would be a 'Perfect Murder'!
Cuddy: After all, Cameron's the epitome of 'Easy Virtue'!
Foreman: That, I'd go 'The 39 Steps' to see!
She won't let me leave the house in fear that I will leave,
Cameron: I *shouldn't* have let her read the Twilight books!
I need to get in contact with my sister, if you know anything about her.
All: YAWN.
Please
House I need your help and I am so sorry for not believing you...' there was
a
bit of a silence in which House started to get worried but then he heard he
speak again,
Mark & Derek: *turn to look at each other in worry* Cameron transgendered?
'...I have to go now, my mother is coming
All: EW!!!
but call me.' Then he
heard nothing she must've gone.
Foreman: Out of her mind.
He played the message to himself twice more before acknowledging that she may
be
in some danger if he doesn't help her
Derek: The new 'Prom Night' is eons better than this, and that's saying
something!
, then he let Wilson listen before he read
the txt messages.
Wilson: WTF? Does she mean text messages???
Cuddy: I thought we established her as a crazy nutso already?
The first message read: 'Please House, I know you might be mad at me but I
need
your help,' there were two more exactly the same
Chase: CaMoron and technology; not a happy marriage.
and then one more that House
knew wasn't from Cameron but it was Cameron's number.
Bree: And the message read: RACHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!
Addison: STELLLLAAAAAAAAAA!
Others: GAH!
Mark & Derek: Addie? Weren't you in LA?
Addison: Weren't you two in Seattle?
Mark: As you can guess, we're not. But why are you here?
Addison: You two loverboys invited me. Oh, and I want you to meet my new
boyfriend, Kevin. We're going pretty swell, if I say so.
Derek: The party's not going to be on until after the fic, so if you think
you can withstand this...
Addison: I withstood Seattle Grace; this is nothing in comparison.
Mark: You'll regret this...
It read: 'House this is
Mark: The Unborn!
Allison's mother, either grow some balls and marry my daughter or leave her
alone. Thanks to you she no longer has access to her phone,
Addison: Uh? What the Hell is going on? This story seems to have as much of a
plot as Starfighters!
I have locked her
down in my basement until I can find a guy for her, don't worry she is being
well looked after,'
Wilson: She's a woman, not a plant, for God's sake.
then the message ended.
After Wilson had also read the messages House declared,
Addison: War to Poland.
"we are going back for
her, both of us. We need to save her before her mother hurts her."
Chase: Too late, I guess.
A/N: Please review, sorry it's short.
All: NO! NO! Better short!
Next chapter will be all about Cameron
Brennan: Correction: CaMoron!
and
what happened before her phone call to House
Cuddy: We don't care!
and what happened after House left
Addison: Nothing happened! It was all a joke! Nobody died!
and all that stuff.
Cameron: That's fit to print.
Please review.
Tritter: Something other than this.
[Doors 1-6]
The PPTH Party is in full swing, and Addison is the center of attention,
especially with her tenure as a world-renown neonatal surgeon - and her
smoking body, but she and Kevin stick together.
Derek and Mark are quietly seated, chatting along with them, until...
Addison: What was THAT?
Mark: Believe me, you *don't* want to know.
Kevin: It sounds like someone's slaughtering an incredible number of cats!
Derek: It's worse...
All of a sudden, Wilson shows up, playing the bagpipe VERY badly, playing
what's supposed to be 'Jingle Bells' but is turning out more like 'Hell On
Earth'.
Mark & Derek look in each other's eyes and nod to each other, pushing the
button.
You can hear them making small work of the bagpipe over the end titles.
PRINCETON PLAINSBORO THEATRE 3000
CAMERON, A PRINCESS? (CHAPTER 5)
VERY!BAD!FIC BY LiL-mIz-WhItE-gUrL
MST BY TheWaughnMan
KEEP CIRCULATING THE FICS
-_^
Stinger: "She rang me before I hopped on the plane and I don't know because I
haven't turned my phone back on since then, I will check though," he said as
he reached for his phone and turned it on.
A Servolicious Production.
[ Our doctor today is |
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