It's Getting Ridiculous
I'm trying not to whine, really I am. I have not worked less than 70 hours a week since October and it's getting old.
Livejournal cut The problem came about when we had lots of travel nurses in our employ. We had them because the company switched from paying nurses by the hour to paying them per treatment, and half the nurses promptly up and quit. Many of the travel nurses had it in their contracts that they would get paid for 40 hours a week whether they worked or not, so when assignments came in they were given first pick, and the rest of us got what was left. This meant that for some of us there was no work. Now I was okay with that. I was already making more money than I ever had in my life. The other nurses were not as pleased as they were used to making way more than that.
(I tried puttting this behind a cut but for some reason, the cut feature isn't working. My apologies)
So there was a big pow-wow with the new administrator - the one that kinda sorta screwed up my insurance - and the nurses on our staff complained about not having enough work. He then put forth a proclamation that from now on all travel nurses will not have their contracts renewed and we will only use staff nurses.
Problem is we only have five nurses and we need 10.
Sooooooooo, we have been slammed since then. To make matters worse we are heading into what is considered to be the busy season for dialysis - who knew there was such a thing? All of us have been taking three patients a day - the usual number is two - along with the team leader and scheduler taking three apiece, and begging, borrowing and stealing nurses from other teams.
When I complain about this to other nurses they act like I'm being a crybaby. If I complain to my boss she says "we're all in the same boat. We're all tired". Another nurse said "better take advantage of all this work now because it won't last forever." Yet another works 15 hours a day six days a week on top of raising her three grandchildren.
Meanwhile they're trying a new thing where they are training a nurse on the job instead of making them have a year of experience in a clinic. This has only been tried on one nurse so far, and he was on his own for the first time this past week. Last I heard he was doing just fine, so maybe it'll work. Meanwhile there are three other nurses going through this new training program, but the only just got started and won't be up and running on their own for another month.
I love the money. It's ironic that in the worst economy in decades I'm making more money than I ever dreamed of. I just wish I had time to go spend some of it. I also love what I do. I truly love my job. I've gotten pretty cracker jack at it too. I can get in there, get set up and get my patient running so much faster than I could a few months ago. On Friday I actually ran two patients and got in and out in under nine hours. That's a first for me. But my days off are filled with trying to play catch up with life - paying bills, doing laundry, running errands, putting my space back together into some workable order.
I ache for the mundane. I miss being able to just sit down and drink a cup of coffee in front of the Internet. I miss being able to cook a weekend breakfast and loll around on the couch all day. I miss being able to wander through a few stores and take my time looking at things, comparing prices and wondering if it's something I really want or need. I'm also falling behind on shopping for essentials. I desperately need a pair of casual shoes, new undies, and yes, a new bag. I simply don't have time to shop for those things. I miss being able to sit outside and drink a cup of coffee and watch the squirrels play. I miss sitting down and listening to "This American Life" while playing an hour or two of Bejeweled or Text Twist. I just don't have enough goofing off time.
This is a huge dilemma for me. I loathe the idea of being a floor nurse in any way, shape or form. I have no desire to be a pillow fluffer and family placator. I like that with my job I feel like I'm actually doing something useful and not merely providing "good customer service". There is a huge technical and scientific aspect to my job that is mentally stimulating and hugely gratifying. I just don't think I can keep up this pace though. My life is wildly out of balance and I'm worried that eventually it's going to take it's toll on me, not just mentally but physically as well.
My resolve to avoid a fast food habit has come undone. It's just too easy to slide through the drive through on my way to my next assignment and eat on the way. I don't have time to shop for groceries let alone cook them. I don't want to take time to eat breakfast. I get home anywhere between 11 p.m and 1 a.m. and drop into bed so I can get some sleep and try to get out the door by at least 7 a.m. Any later than that means another night getting home in the wee hours. I don't want to take the time to prepare breakfast and have a cup of coffee. I jump out of bed and into my scrubs, throw together a lunch and I'm out the door.
If I could see some kind of end in sight I could probably hang in there, but as it is now I don't see one. My original goal was to hang on until May when I could pursue a travel gig. I just don't know if my body can hold up under this.
J has been wonderfully patient through it all. She does complain from time to time that we never see each other; that we never have dinner together anymore. But she also noticed that we don't fight as much either since we're never around each other. Plus she is enjoying the bonus of having my income and using it to buy things for the house. But that's a good thing. She recently chose a home theater system for our bedroom and found it at rock-bottom prices. To me, she was doing me a huge favor. I would never have the time to research what kind of equpiment we need, what the best brands are and shopping for deals. I eagerly handed over my half of the cost. She got some high-end equipment at an unbelievable price.
Then we have begun a routine of having "date night" every Saturday that I'm off, and they have been pretty awesome. It helps having the money to do many of the fun things we haven't been able to do for several years. This past weekened we went to the movies, strolled around The Woodlands Waterway looking at Christmas lights and enjoying the mild weather. Then we had a wonderful dinner, then went home for some quality snuggle time on the couch while we watched all the shows we recorded on our DVR. I live for those date nights.
Lately I have been refusing to take a third patient and there haven't been any consequences. The scheduler whines but I doubt they would fire me. They're too desperate. Besides I really could get a job doing something else. As much as I imagine I would hate it, chances are I may like it more than I think. I'll never know if I don't try. So it's a solution I keep in the back of my head if I get to the place where I really can't take it anymore.
This has gone on way longer than I intended. The next day off I get, which is Thursday, I may plop down with a cup of coffee and share some Christmas and economy musings.
Hope your holidays were merry and bright. MIne was spent in the ICU dialyzing but it was all good.