(no subject)

[thewatchyouwear]

last night made me realize a lot of things
last night you gave me the courage i needed to take a step in the right direction
last night you were the only one i could call and the only one i wanted to

i don't know the last time i've trusted anyone this much.

i'm scared
i don't know if i ever really admitted this to you but i am
i'm really fucking scared

i'm scared of what's happening
i'm scared of what could happen
i'm scared of being dependant again
or that i already am
i'm scared of you letting me down
i'm scared of being happy
i'm scared that it won't be everything i hope it will be
i'm scared of losing this.

i'm constantly living in fear of change
in fear of everything
i hate it but... it keeps me from getting hurt
if i think myself out of everything i never allow myself to be disappointed

i don't know what i want anymore
ha, like i ever do
i'm waiting for the answer to appear right in front of my face
but i know that's never gonna happen
probably because the answer's been there all along
i'm just looking too hard to actually find it
i wish i could see what's right in front of my face