A look into my life.
I only have a few minutes before I have to go back to work. But I wanted to write a little bit today. The weekend was tough for me. I found out Saturday that my ex-boyfriend has turned me into CSD and they went to where they are staying to check up on them. I feel so highly offened that he can say such horrible stuff about me and my parenting skills. I had a late dinner with my soon to be ex-husband last night after I got off work. I had a good cry. I feel like I have screwed up so many peoples lives with all of my crap. We are starting to build a friendship that we never had when we were married. It is going to be nice to have him as a friend...but I am really glad that he will no longer be my husband soon. I worked 7 1/2 hours last night. I didn't get to bed until almost 1 am then had to be up at 6 am to get ready for my other job. I am just trying to make as much money as I can so when I get the kids back in June, I will be ready for them financially.
I have to go to court next week about my stalking order. It is going to be tough to see him again. But I know it will be the last time that I have to face him!!!!!!!!!!! I so wanted to call him last night and tell him all of the reasons that I hate him.
I did figure out some the relationship this weekend. I realized that before I moved in with him, he was stoned all of the time. I have never seen a stoned angry person before. He stopped smoking about the time I moved into his house. And he is a user...so he was saying and doing what it took to put me in the position he wanted me in. I am so embarrased that I let myself get into that kind of situation.
Some good news, my house sold last week. I will get my share of the money once the divorce is final. It is not going to pay off all of my bills, but it will put a good dent in them. And I no longer have a house payment to make.
I am a bit stressed. I have to start looking for a place to live. I only have 2 weeks left at the shelter. I don't want to spend very much on rent right now. I want to save everything I can so that I can get a nice place in June. I might try and rent a room in a house.
I want to change my user name. But I need to spend some time thinking about it. I would take any suggestions. I KNOW that my user name does not fit me anymore. I am far from being voiceless.
I do have to say, that I feel more alive (at times) than I have in years. I can't wait until I can make a trip up to PDX to see my friends and do some dancing. I haven't been out dancing in a long time. I find dancing to be a great zen for me.
Damn, I need to get back to work.
Have a great day all.
It is great to be back among the living.
I have to go to court next week about my stalking order. It is going to be tough to see him again. But I know it will be the last time that I have to face him!!!!!!!!!!! I so wanted to call him last night and tell him all of the reasons that I hate him.
I did figure out some the relationship this weekend. I realized that before I moved in with him, he was stoned all of the time. I have never seen a stoned angry person before. He stopped smoking about the time I moved into his house. And he is a user...so he was saying and doing what it took to put me in the position he wanted me in. I am so embarrased that I let myself get into that kind of situation.
Some good news, my house sold last week. I will get my share of the money once the divorce is final. It is not going to pay off all of my bills, but it will put a good dent in them. And I no longer have a house payment to make.
I am a bit stressed. I have to start looking for a place to live. I only have 2 weeks left at the shelter. I don't want to spend very much on rent right now. I want to save everything I can so that I can get a nice place in June. I might try and rent a room in a house.
I want to change my user name. But I need to spend some time thinking about it. I would take any suggestions. I KNOW that my user name does not fit me anymore. I am far from being voiceless.
I do have to say, that I feel more alive (at times) than I have in years. I can't wait until I can make a trip up to PDX to see my friends and do some dancing. I haven't been out dancing in a long time. I find dancing to be a great zen for me.
Damn, I need to get back to work.
Have a great day all.
It is great to be back among the living.