10/19/2012

[isolatedscholar]

WHO: Lawrence and Lily
WHERE: At the tree in front of the school lawn
WHEN: October 19th, late afternoon/beginning of evening
WHY: Investigation! (Plus they're lab partners and they need to talk)

Comments

[azuranthine]

Between her seemingly endless stream of homework, her rush to get to the post office before it closed yesterday, her continued research into post-traumatic stress disorder, and her obnoxious roommate, Lillian was determined to have a pleasant, relaxing Friday afternoon to herself. It seemed like an age had passed since she'd had an opportunity to curl up under her tree with a good book. It was one she had borrowed from Heather, The Dandelion Girl. She could use something sweet and romantic with a happy ending to take her mind off of, well, everything.

Lillian's steps faltered slightly when she saw someone was already there but she kept walking toward the tree. It was a big tree. As she drew closer, she recognized a familiar head of blond hair. It was difficult, if not impossible, to mistake Lawrence for anyone else.

"Hello, Lawrence," she said quietly with a polite smile the found her usual niche where she could sit on the grass and lean back against the trunk without any roots digging into her back. She sat Heather's book on her lap, briefly wondering if Lawrence actually intended to talk to her this time or if his coming here was mere coincidence.

[isolatedscholar]

Lawrence noticed Lily approaching with a book in her arms. Apparently, she had intended to read here again like she did every day he saw her. For once, Lawrence decided to take a different approach altogether in talking to someone. Maybe, just maybe, it would work... and he would end this conversation with a friend.

He smiled. It was hard for him to do so, but he hadn't wanted to make an enemy of Lily, nor did he have a reason to.

"Good afternoon, Lily," he responded while looking her book over. He paused a moment before continuing, "How are you this afternoon?"

[azuranthine]

Lillian stared at him a second, completely surprised by the question. Lawrence never asked her how he was. She was lucky if he even acknowledged her presence whenever she said hello. To say, she wasn't quite sure what to make of Lawrence's sudden attempt to be friendly.

It'd be best for you to not make anything of it, Nephele murmured, giving her what felt like a mental head pat. Just listen to what he has to say and answer his questions. No more, no less.

"Very tired," Lillian replied, honestly. "How about yourself?"

[isolatedscholar]

Lawrence wasn't sure if his attempt to be friendly had gone over too well... Lily had stared at him a long while before responding. He hoped, however, that she accepted it.

"Ah, I'm--" He stopped. What could he say here? He couldn't say he was doing well, because he wasn't. And he couldn't say he wasn't, because she'd probably ask why and he'd have to mention Lester. Or even worse, what happened Monday. And then she would hate him as much as Lester does. He had to come up with something, quick... something that wasn't a lie.

"I've been... better, I suppose," he stated quietly, "would you, erm, like to sit down? I know you're here often, so..." he felt himself trail off awkwardly. He didn't know what else to say after that.

[azuranthine]

"You can sit down," Lillian said, nodding slowly, wondering if maybe he was just nervous and had meant to ask if he could sit. She was already sitting down after all. Lawrence seemed so sharp normally. He really had been better, hadn't he?

"Please," she added in much gentler, concerned tone. "Have a seat. You're right. I often read or draw here but I usually don't mind company."

[isolatedscholar]

Lawrence hadn't even realized he made such a large slip-up. He was grateful that Lily, at least, understood what he meant. He nodded, and sat down next to her, placing his book on his lap. For a few moments, he just sat and didn't say anything. He couldn't really think of what to say next.

Moments passed and he wasn't sure if Lily was getting impatient or not. Should he just come out and ask her about Personas? No, that would be rude... maybe he should just ask her how her classes were coming along. That at least showed that he was interested, right? Then again... that might be too boring.

He felt Phoenix peck at him. Just be yourself, he thought he heard. Himself? But... being himself had caused his chances of being friends with Lester to explode and burst into flames. He wanted to avoid that with Lily, at all costs...

If he didn't say something soon, though, Lily would leave...

He started quietly, "So... erm... we... haven't talked very much about our science project, have we..."

This was an appropriate way to start the conversation. They really hadn't talked much, which means their progress on the project was... well... less than nonexistent, if that was even possible.

Edited~

[azuranthine]

"No, we haven't," she said in agreement. Lillian gave him a thoughtful look, more measuring than probing. She smiled, however. "Is that what you came to talk to me about?"

She had a strong suspicion it wasn't, given what Ezra had told her about him having a Persona, too. The timing was too convenient for him to have come to her solely for the pleasure of her company. Even on one of her better days, Lillian knew she wasn't a thrilling conversationalist or even terribly interesting.

Soooorry for the delay~

[isolatedscholar]

Lawrence quickly shook his head, unsure of what to say to Lily next.

"Actually," he began, as awkward as before, "that's just part of why I wanted to talk to you."

He paused, staring at the ground. She had smiled at him. Was that a sign things were going well? Lawrence really didn't understand why he was more awkward around Lily than most people... he hadn't even been this awkward around Lester.

Was it because Lily was a girl? No, that didn't make sense either. He spoke to Lynne just fine the night of the troll incident. But did that really count? Most of what he said came because of the duty he felt, but... try as he might, Lawrence just couldn't be himself around Lily. It had always been that way. Every time she tried to make conversation with him while they were in class, Lawrence just felt... unnerved. And in the library, when Emi was stomping all over him with her errands, he didn't even so much as look at her. Why? He just didn't understand...

Lawrence cleared his throat, hoping to ease his nervousness.

"Lillian, I actually wanted to talk to you about something more... personal. It's something not many people really know about... but... I know you do. I hope you don't mind and, erm..." he looked away, "...if you do, I'll understand."

Why had he used her full name? Oh well... it was too late to take back, now.

<3 <3

[azuranthine]

"It's fine," Lillian reassured him. "Someone told me you had an experience." She hesitated before continuing. "How are you holding up?"

Lillian hadn't been holding up very well after her experience. It wasn't that long ago her nights had been largely sleepless and paranoid something was going to attack her in her own dorm room.

"You can ask me anything and I'll try to answer," she found herself adding, remembering Nephele's advice of a few moments ago.

Re: <3 <3

[isolatedscholar]

He didn't expect Lily to be so... forthcoming with information. Who had told her about his experience? Was it Lester? Lynne? Anthony? No... it couldn't be Ezra, could it? Why would he tell her about it? He noticed her hesitation after talking about his experience. Does that mean hers hadn't gone well?

He was glad, though, that she was so open to answer his questions. Lester was wrong. Someone would tell him what was happening, after all...

"My... experience... yes, well, let's just say I've been better..." he said quietly, staring up at the sky. "I've noticed myself change somehow since that night. I don't really understand it, to be honest... I just... how do I say it... I just don't really feel like I did before, if you understand that."

He pondered if he should ask about hers. He was very curious about it, especially after that moment of hesitation. And she did say she would try to answer anything...

"How did yours go? Did you feel different, too?" He asked, not looking at her as he spoke.

[azuranthine]

Feel different? Lillian had certainly changed in the months since she'd gotten her Persona. Her thoughts went back to the destructive rage she'd felt toward Emi the night before. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt that kind of anger toward a person and even then, she had never wished Matthew this kind of ill will. Lillian's daydreams had grown a little darker today and she had never had that problem before this summer.

Or at least, she had felt these kinds of impulses to watch someone suffer as she did now or see them broken, tear-stained, and pleading for mercy. What had begun to bend before this summer was starting to break. Strange, how she didn't find see this as such a horrible outcome anymore.

She shook her head slightly in an attempt to come out of her reverie. She was mostly successful, at least.

"We were attacked during a power outage. Emi," her tone fell completely dead as she said the the name before returning to its normal softness. "organized a game of flashlight tag. These jabbering purple things wanted to eat us. One slashed at me with its claw. It cut me and I bled."

She stopped, considering whether or not to tell him about the auditorium as well. Lillian had only really talked about it with Heather and then not in much detail, not even with those who had been with her. Something told her she should tell this story to Lawrence, however. That it was important he hear it.

"It wasn't the only time I got hurt. The demon at the museum knocked me down. Principal Ivors assigned myself, Lynne, Lindsey, and Ama detention because Lindsey tripped and bumped into me, I bumped into Lynne, who accidentally dropped her tray on him. Then he locked us all in and we were attacked by demons. There was no way out and I was attacked from behind. All of us got hurt then, only we didn't have Heather or Anthony to heal us then."

Lillian wasn't sure if this answered Lawrence's question but the words were spilling out on their own now. Maybe this knowledge would bring him some measure of peace and understanding of the situation they were now in.

"Being placed in mortal danger with strangers you have no choice but to trust and put your faith in... changed me, I suppose," she finished.

[isolatedscholar]

Lawrence nodded a bit as he listened to Lily's story. Emi organized a game of flashlight tag during a power outage, and it caused Lily to get hurt? That kind of... annoyed him. He wasn't sure if it was because he hated Emi, or if there was another reason altogether.

And the other thing about Principal Ivors... angered him. He had a different opinion of his so-called "friend" since the night he ran into the troll. And now... after hearing Lily's story... it seemed like he had a habit of placing his students in danger.

Then again, maybe he was just over thinking things. Would Principal Ivors really place his students in danger? What reason would he have to do so?

Lily's final line cut through him rather sharply. Being placed in mortal dangers with strangers you have no choice but to trust and put your faith in... he sighed. He didn't take it anywhere near the way she did. He hated Lynne, Anthony and Ezra and certainly didn't trust them...

For the first time he started to wonder if that was a mistake. But he shrugged it off. There was no point in dwelling on that now.

"...I see." Lawrence concluded, while crossing his arms. He thought deeply about what he should say next... Should he tell her what happened with the troll? Part of him thought it was a bad idea... but Lily had told her story. He felt it would be right for him to do the same.

"Lillian..." he began, clearing his throat, "...could I tell you something? One thing, before I do. You must swear never to tell anyone you heard it."

[azuranthine]

"Sure," Lillian said, snapping out of her daze. Or trying to, at least. It was hard to focus on Lawrence for some reason. It had always been this way. She never had been able to think too deeply or for very long when it came to him for some reason. Maybe that was why she was having an easier time opening up today, she didn't have to think so hard. Or maybe she really was just that tired. "I won't say anything if you promise to keep what I told you to yourself."

[isolatedscholar]

Lawrence nodded resolutely. "I'd never think of sharing it with anyone, Lillian," he said, somewhat nervously.

He thought long and hard. How to begin? Should he just come right out and say what Oscar told him to do? Or should he tell her how they met? Either way... he had Lily's trust now, and that made him feel less uneasy.

"If you haven't guessed..." he began, in a decidedly darker tone, "...it has to do with Principal Ivors. You see... we met in the courtyard, one evening. I hadn't intended to talk to him, but the wind blew my hair into his face. After that... we just sort of started talking. About books, I guess you could say. He was really nice to me..." Lawrence smiled for a moment, but it quickly faded. "...Then, he started asking about Emi. And Ezra. I told him everything, about how Ezra and I hadn't been getting along from day one and how Emi used me as her errand boy... when I mentioned the study group, Principal Ivors thought long and hard... then, he told me to keep an eye on all of you. And for some reason... he told me to watch out for Ezra."

Lawrence paused, trying to gauge Lily's reactions. He couldn't quite tell if she was listening to him or not. That uneasy feeling returned, but he couldn't stop now. He had to keep going, until the very end...

"...anyway. A few nights later, I saw Lynne walk into the courtyard. I followed her, still thinking everyone was up to no good. Principal Ivors played with my strong sense of justice. So... I treated them like they were doing something wrong, and... then my experience happened..." He looked off to the side, "...and I'm sure you've heard all about that already."

It was all out in the open now. All Lawrence could do was wait and see how Lily took it...

[azuranthine]

"I hadn't heard much about it, actually," Lillian admitted. "Only that you were one of us." When Lawrence mentioned Principal Ivors, her gaze sharpened suddenly. There was an almost feline sense of agitationp; if Lillian had a tail, it would have been thrashing angrily just then.

"The principal is a miserable jerk," she said bluntly when Lawrence finished. "What he did to you is inexcusable. I'm sure you know this but I would be wary of him. Sometimes I believe he really does have our best interests in mind or at least, his own that can be achieved through us. But other times, I think he just wants to see us all suffer for his own amusement."

She grew quiet a moment then asked in a devious tone. "Does he know you know?"

[isolatedscholar]

Lawrence was a bit confused. He understood what Lily said about Principal Ivors and agreed with it, but... knew about what? About knowing Principal Ivors used him? Of course he knew that... that couldn't possibly be what Lily meant.

"I... see. Well... we'll leave the details for another time..." Lawrence said, sullenly. Those details had made Lester turn on him in an instant... he wasn't sure what he'd do if that happened to Lily, as well.

His next sentence was decidedly darker.

"Honestly... I hate Principal Ivors," he continued, "I don't think he has our best interests in mind at all. I don't understand him... I don't get what he accomplished by using me. And... um... what do you mean? Does he know I know what?"