#196, 2 of 3
Malioumba
1 year ago today. 2 years ago today. 3, 4, 5. They start to get fuzzy. I can still see Doug, myself, Justin Girard and Fred McClure playing cards when we werent supposed to in 9th grade Drama class. When I was the "assisstant director". This is it. I don't have anything left to say. Just that I found myself at Lucky China tonight. I was waiting on and order of sesame chicken and fried rice, myself and the Chinese man at the front the only people there. The very distinct Chinese music playing in the background. And I thought to myself, how did I end up here? How have I ended up here?
Where will Ill be in 5 years? 10? 20? Where will you be in 5, 10, or 20? Will you remember me? Or, when we pass on the street, will you pretend you are looking the other way to avoid the wasted 5 minutes of your life it would take to catch up? Will I be that man walking down the street with kids in either hand, looking very bored? Or the other one, with expensive looking clothes on and a cell phone always to his ear, trying to make an impression. Why are we always trying to make impressions?
In 10 years will I even care about any of this? I doubt it. We are continually moving on. Those who don't get blindsided by Father Time whos doing 60 seconds a minute.
I believe God made these last few days' worth of weather for me. To let me know it would all be ok. And thats why the wind was continually blowing. I have always believed that when the wind is blowing, God is there. Whats more like God than the wind? You can't see it, or hear it. But you know its there. You feel it. But you can't describe to other people how it feels, wind on your skin. You just know it when you feel it. Sometimes, right when you'd rather it not be blowing, other times, right when you need it.
What a summer. More than I expected. Better than I could have imagined. Not what I was thinking. Just like God, though. To pull one on you like that. Life won't ever be the same now. So much that I've learned, and so much to remember. Above everything else, I am not the only person alive, and no one matters less than myself.
So much to more to say, but words on this are meaningless to me. Id rather sit down with you and talk. Let you see my sincerity. This is it, I guess. No one cares though really, because everyone else has stopped writing in these, or they don't read mine anymore because they think I have become a bible beater or something. I can't help how I feel. Neither can you though.
miltodn@auburn.edu - drop a line sometime.
I have found what I have been looking for for the past 19 years. Good luck in your search. I hope it leads to the same end. I pray constantly for all of my friends, and I am here at all hours of the day for them.
"Courage isn't the lack of fear, but acting in spite of it."
Romans 8:38, 39
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
forever Yours,
a servant.
1 year ago today. 2 years ago today. 3, 4, 5. They start to get fuzzy. I can still see Doug, myself, Justin Girard and Fred McClure playing cards when we werent supposed to in 9th grade Drama class. When I was the "assisstant director". This is it. I don't have anything left to say. Just that I found myself at Lucky China tonight. I was waiting on and order of sesame chicken and fried rice, myself and the Chinese man at the front the only people there. The very distinct Chinese music playing in the background. And I thought to myself, how did I end up here? How have I ended up here?
Where will Ill be in 5 years? 10? 20? Where will you be in 5, 10, or 20? Will you remember me? Or, when we pass on the street, will you pretend you are looking the other way to avoid the wasted 5 minutes of your life it would take to catch up? Will I be that man walking down the street with kids in either hand, looking very bored? Or the other one, with expensive looking clothes on and a cell phone always to his ear, trying to make an impression. Why are we always trying to make impressions?
In 10 years will I even care about any of this? I doubt it. We are continually moving on. Those who don't get blindsided by Father Time whos doing 60 seconds a minute.
I believe God made these last few days' worth of weather for me. To let me know it would all be ok. And thats why the wind was continually blowing. I have always believed that when the wind is blowing, God is there. Whats more like God than the wind? You can't see it, or hear it. But you know its there. You feel it. But you can't describe to other people how it feels, wind on your skin. You just know it when you feel it. Sometimes, right when you'd rather it not be blowing, other times, right when you need it.
What a summer. More than I expected. Better than I could have imagined. Not what I was thinking. Just like God, though. To pull one on you like that. Life won't ever be the same now. So much that I've learned, and so much to remember. Above everything else, I am not the only person alive, and no one matters less than myself.
So much to more to say, but words on this are meaningless to me. Id rather sit down with you and talk. Let you see my sincerity. This is it, I guess. No one cares though really, because everyone else has stopped writing in these, or they don't read mine anymore because they think I have become a bible beater or something. I can't help how I feel. Neither can you though.
miltodn@auburn.edu - drop a line sometime.
I have found what I have been looking for for the past 19 years. Good luck in your search. I hope it leads to the same end. I pray constantly for all of my friends, and I am here at all hours of the day for them.
"Courage isn't the lack of fear, but acting in spite of it."
Romans 8:38, 39
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
forever Yours,
a servant.