(no subject)
There's just too many people, you know. For any mood that you might feel at any time, there is someone else out there, feeling the exact same thing. When I am at the heights of some emotion, I do not want to see it mirrored in someone else. I want to pretend that I am the only person that could possibly feel this.
This, of course, is a rather selfish sentiment. It's just really frustrating. There is truly nothing new under the sun. Man, and there sure hasn't been for some time. Solomon was writing about it a couple of thousand years ago...and I'm pretty sure not much has happened since then. (Well, sure, you know, technological and social advances and whatnot, but at the bottom of it, it's all just more of the same). Every story is the same. You can find different music, but someone else out there feels the exact same thing you do when he hears it, and it follows the same patterns to bring you to the same peaks and depths. Every person who falls in love, every woman who has a child, everyone who loses something, all are feeling what has already been felt. And all are feeling it at the same time as someone else. There is nothing new, there is nothing original, and there is not even any solitude in what little one has. One isn't even unique in the moment.
I see life as a search for God. All that is within us longs for something more, something that we cannot get out of life. All the fulfillment we seek is merely a substitute. I know that many of you would likely disagree. But it seems to me, based on this rather short and uneventful life I have lived, that a person will not be whole until he returns to God. All that I feel within me, all this yearning, this frustration, it results from my longing for God. I am fallen, and I will remain fallen until the Resurrection. I cannot explain in words--they fail me abominably. Well. You must live your own life, you know, and search for what you will find.
Perhaps there is a reason I usually go to bed before eleven...when I go "surfing the web" at one in the morning, it tends to lead to strange things.
This, of course, is a rather selfish sentiment. It's just really frustrating. There is truly nothing new under the sun. Man, and there sure hasn't been for some time. Solomon was writing about it a couple of thousand years ago...and I'm pretty sure not much has happened since then. (Well, sure, you know, technological and social advances and whatnot, but at the bottom of it, it's all just more of the same). Every story is the same. You can find different music, but someone else out there feels the exact same thing you do when he hears it, and it follows the same patterns to bring you to the same peaks and depths. Every person who falls in love, every woman who has a child, everyone who loses something, all are feeling what has already been felt. And all are feeling it at the same time as someone else. There is nothing new, there is nothing original, and there is not even any solitude in what little one has. One isn't even unique in the moment.
I see life as a search for God. All that is within us longs for something more, something that we cannot get out of life. All the fulfillment we seek is merely a substitute. I know that many of you would likely disagree. But it seems to me, based on this rather short and uneventful life I have lived, that a person will not be whole until he returns to God. All that I feel within me, all this yearning, this frustration, it results from my longing for God. I am fallen, and I will remain fallen until the Resurrection. I cannot explain in words--they fail me abominably. Well. You must live your own life, you know, and search for what you will find.
Perhaps there is a reason I usually go to bed before eleven...when I go "surfing the web" at one in the morning, it tends to lead to strange things.