(no subject)
Oh my God I just want to throw up.
This whole graduate school process has just been one nightmare after another. I'm trying to figure out approximately how much loan money to accept, but everyone I talk to just wants to transfer me and doesn't fucking listen to me! I actually had to say firmly "wait, don't transfer me, you don't understand what I'm asking." This is ridiculous. I hate this school already. The program might be awesome, but the whole bureaucracy and the way they handle everything is horrible. I have no idea what to do. I was assigned an advisor, so I called the number listed for him on the website and his number DOESN'T WORK so I can't leave a voicemail. I got so pissed off that I just called the director of the program and left a voicemail stating what happened and my concerns and who to go to for advice... because obviously I'm not getting any.
Yesterday was my Mother's birthday so we were going to do something today but I'm just in a horrible mood right now. There is a lesson I had committed to going to down town today but I feel as though my day is already ruined. This happens quite frequently. And with all of my new clients this week... ugh... everything has just been terrible. I don't understand how people can work full time or go to school... I'm not even sure how I used to do it. I know I almost dropped out because of my anxiety in undergrad and I really don't want another repeat of that. I realize that if I absolutely can't stand it here I could apply elsewhere (like back in Illinois) but thinking about going through the whole application process again is just making me more physically ill. I don't know what to do.
If I do end up getting the energy to apply ... I'll limit myself to 5 schools. Just so I have options for a year from now if I hate my current program/living situation. Because I have a feeling it'll be more of my circumstance/culture shock than the actual program that will push be back toward Illinois (if that happens).
Fuck. Me.
This whole graduate school process has just been one nightmare after another. I'm trying to figure out approximately how much loan money to accept, but everyone I talk to just wants to transfer me and doesn't fucking listen to me! I actually had to say firmly "wait, don't transfer me, you don't understand what I'm asking." This is ridiculous. I hate this school already. The program might be awesome, but the whole bureaucracy and the way they handle everything is horrible. I have no idea what to do. I was assigned an advisor, so I called the number listed for him on the website and his number DOESN'T WORK so I can't leave a voicemail. I got so pissed off that I just called the director of the program and left a voicemail stating what happened and my concerns and who to go to for advice... because obviously I'm not getting any.
Yesterday was my Mother's birthday so we were going to do something today but I'm just in a horrible mood right now. There is a lesson I had committed to going to down town today but I feel as though my day is already ruined. This happens quite frequently. And with all of my new clients this week... ugh... everything has just been terrible. I don't understand how people can work full time or go to school... I'm not even sure how I used to do it. I know I almost dropped out because of my anxiety in undergrad and I really don't want another repeat of that. I realize that if I absolutely can't stand it here I could apply elsewhere (like back in Illinois) but thinking about going through the whole application process again is just making me more physically ill. I don't know what to do.
If I do end up getting the energy to apply ... I'll limit myself to 5 schools. Just so I have options for a year from now if I hate my current program/living situation. Because I have a feeling it'll be more of my circumstance/culture shock than the actual program that will push be back toward Illinois (if that happens).
Fuck. Me.