Really? Your life sucks? MINE TOO!!
Misery loves company and damned if I don't have a full house.
It turns out that my parents aren't nearly as naive as I supposed, neither are yours...and isn't that like a kick in the teeth? Now add to that: 'adults' telling us (college-aged kids) that college was the best time of their life...and finding out why, exactly, that is true.
I suppose I always assumed that people talked about the glory days of college because of their physical appearance and how they longed for youth. While that certainly makes up a portion of this backwards longing, it seems to me that what most people miss is a plethora of people with similar interests and similar life circumstances surrounding you at all times.
When you are in undergrad, and you want to sit on a porch and drink beer and watch cars go by, within two phone calls, you can find someone who is also interested in said activity. Regardless of what you want to do, and the legality and or ethics of this activity...you can find someone who will be your proverbial partner in crime.
Now you've graduated. If you get a job or go to grad school, it takes about a month to realize...wow...I'm bored and don't know anyone. Everyone at my job is older/married/_____ (insert your favorite adjective of mismatch). Everyone in my grad school program is older/married/lacking English/any form of communication skills. Basically...you are alone, and you better find out some good things about you, cause y'all (you and yourself) are about to spend a whole lot of quality time together.
So here's the (kind of) good news. You are not alone. With few exceptions, everyone is miserable, scared and lonely for a while. Those who aren't, fuck em...they'll get theirs. In the mean time...go find the other people who are as fucked up as you are over life...cause they (we)'re out there.
Further...and I've been guilty, and several of my friends currently find themselves in this situation...
Just because you are bored, doesn't mean that you should settle for the jerks who are around you...just because they are there. Don't stir things up just because you are bored and want someone to find you attractive or interesting. Don't get involved with someone who is not interested in you or who you know is no good (i.e. he/she started the relationship with you while in another relationship...he/she also is an alcoholic and is in therapy...true story - not me.)
It sucks. It's depressing. But...you better figure out how to deal, cause it turns out that...no one does anything for you after college. No one finds friends for you. No one holds your hand through PhD programs. No one tells you how to deal with the particular breed of jerk boss you have. And no one is going to look out for you. Isn't that some shit? And the worst part...my parent's have been telling me this for some time now...perhaps I would have been more prepared had I listened...but what fun would that have been?
It turns out that my parents aren't nearly as naive as I supposed, neither are yours...and isn't that like a kick in the teeth? Now add to that: 'adults' telling us (college-aged kids) that college was the best time of their life...and finding out why, exactly, that is true.
I suppose I always assumed that people talked about the glory days of college because of their physical appearance and how they longed for youth. While that certainly makes up a portion of this backwards longing, it seems to me that what most people miss is a plethora of people with similar interests and similar life circumstances surrounding you at all times.
When you are in undergrad, and you want to sit on a porch and drink beer and watch cars go by, within two phone calls, you can find someone who is also interested in said activity. Regardless of what you want to do, and the legality and or ethics of this activity...you can find someone who will be your proverbial partner in crime.
Now you've graduated. If you get a job or go to grad school, it takes about a month to realize...wow...I'm bored and don't know anyone. Everyone at my job is older/married/_____ (insert your favorite adjective of mismatch). Everyone in my grad school program is older/married/lacking English/any form of communication skills. Basically...you are alone, and you better find out some good things about you, cause y'all (you and yourself) are about to spend a whole lot of quality time together.
So here's the (kind of) good news. You are not alone. With few exceptions, everyone is miserable, scared and lonely for a while. Those who aren't, fuck em...they'll get theirs. In the mean time...go find the other people who are as fucked up as you are over life...cause they (we)'re out there.
Further...and I've been guilty, and several of my friends currently find themselves in this situation...
Just because you are bored, doesn't mean that you should settle for the jerks who are around you...just because they are there. Don't stir things up just because you are bored and want someone to find you attractive or interesting. Don't get involved with someone who is not interested in you or who you know is no good (i.e. he/she started the relationship with you while in another relationship...he/she also is an alcoholic and is in therapy...true story - not me.)
It sucks. It's depressing. But...you better figure out how to deal, cause it turns out that...no one does anything for you after college. No one finds friends for you. No one holds your hand through PhD programs. No one tells you how to deal with the particular breed of jerk boss you have. And no one is going to look out for you. Isn't that some shit? And the worst part...my parent's have been telling me this for some time now...perhaps I would have been more prepared had I listened...but what fun would that have been?