Welcome to real life
Ben and I went to the park again this afternoon. It was a different one, and again it was really far away. But alas, I couldn't get as lucky this time as last time. He was cranky before we'd gotten a third of the way there. I was majorly nervous about the whole thing, but hey, I know he'd be even more upset if we just turned around and went back.
So we finally made it, and he had a chance to play on the toys for awhile. Then he wanted to watch some teenagers play tennis, and I can't believe how long he sat and watched the ball go back and forth without getting bored or distracted or frustrated that I wouldn't let him get closer. I was impressed. Later, another car pulled up and two people got out to play basketball, so of course we then had to go watch them too. It was a dad and a daughter. She was at the very very edge of childhood, just before they go all preteen and need cellphones and highlights and start rolling their eyes. Instead, she wore her long blond hair in a loose ponytail, cute green shorts and wasn't embarrassed to play basketball with her dad in the park.
What I think got me the most was that this dad looked *exactly* like my dad, only like 15-20 years younger. I watched them for awhile, and remembered playing basketball with my dad at the park, and remembered when I decided I was too old for it. :-(
And another weird thought jumped into my head. That I was never as beautiful as this girl. What a weird thought to have. Why on earth do I need to have self-confidence issues about what I looked like as a child? I mean, sure I still cringe when I see pictures of my untamed frizzy hair, but does it affect my life now? My mothering? My marriage? My financial situation? My friendships? Of course not. It was a just a time-machine vortex sucking me into being sad for no reason. Bittersweet is OK. But actually sad? How silly.
Then Ben was a brat all the way home because of how tired he was. I did end up carrying him for a bit, but I was SO tired and Holly was being painfully insolent. I could not control her and carry him uphill at the same time. So I was the mean mom and made him walk, pulling him by the arm when necessary. Sigh. But we had to get home and it was going to get cold soon. Plus we were both hungry and getting crankier by the minute. Finally, I found him a "lucky" pink rock to carry, and it gave him "magic energy" to keep going. Wa-hoo!!!
Oh and even though we've only seen it twice, he's asking for "Backyard-again!" like 20 times a day now. He doesn't understand how regular tv works. He's spoiled by DVDs and OnDemand. :-)
So we finally made it, and he had a chance to play on the toys for awhile. Then he wanted to watch some teenagers play tennis, and I can't believe how long he sat and watched the ball go back and forth without getting bored or distracted or frustrated that I wouldn't let him get closer. I was impressed. Later, another car pulled up and two people got out to play basketball, so of course we then had to go watch them too. It was a dad and a daughter. She was at the very very edge of childhood, just before they go all preteen and need cellphones and highlights and start rolling their eyes. Instead, she wore her long blond hair in a loose ponytail, cute green shorts and wasn't embarrassed to play basketball with her dad in the park.
What I think got me the most was that this dad looked *exactly* like my dad, only like 15-20 years younger. I watched them for awhile, and remembered playing basketball with my dad at the park, and remembered when I decided I was too old for it. :-(
And another weird thought jumped into my head. That I was never as beautiful as this girl. What a weird thought to have. Why on earth do I need to have self-confidence issues about what I looked like as a child? I mean, sure I still cringe when I see pictures of my untamed frizzy hair, but does it affect my life now? My mothering? My marriage? My financial situation? My friendships? Of course not. It was a just a time-machine vortex sucking me into being sad for no reason. Bittersweet is OK. But actually sad? How silly.
Then Ben was a brat all the way home because of how tired he was. I did end up carrying him for a bit, but I was SO tired and Holly was being painfully insolent. I could not control her and carry him uphill at the same time. So I was the mean mom and made him walk, pulling him by the arm when necessary. Sigh. But we had to get home and it was going to get cold soon. Plus we were both hungry and getting crankier by the minute. Finally, I found him a "lucky" pink rock to carry, and it gave him "magic energy" to keep going. Wa-hoo!!!
Oh and even though we've only seen it twice, he's asking for "Backyard-again!" like 20 times a day now. He doesn't understand how regular tv works. He's spoiled by DVDs and OnDemand. :-)