But this is my bed!
Mama Talk
When we first made the decision to co-sleep with our newborn son, we did a lot of research on its benefits. Co-sleeping makes nighttime breastfeeding easier, helps facilitate bonding and has even helped us to prevent SIDS, as my husband actually woke up one night when 2-month-old Benjamin had a stop-breathing episode.
I don’t know how I would have made it through those early months if I’d had to schlep down the hall, sit in a chair to nurse the baby, rock him back to sleep and then carefully set him back in a crib. If he woke, I’d be forced to start the whole process over again.
Opinions on our decision differed greatly, but one thing’s for sure, everyone had something to say about it. The most popular comment was, “You’ll never get that baby out of your bed!”
My classic response was “We believe co-sleeping is like breastfeeding. To withhold something from a newborn just because you don’t want to do it with your older child is ridiculous. We enjoy sleeping with our baby. When it gets to the point where it isn’t working anymore, we’ll move him to his own big boy bed.”
Well, here we are with an 18-month-old, and we’re still co-sleeping and still nursing. The nursing is by choice and I plan to give him about another year to wean on his own before I start nudging him in that general direction, but the co-sleeping is getting harder.
I still love snuggling with my munchkin during the night, and I know he gets a lot out of that closeness with me as well, since he misses me while I’m at work. Problem is, the dude’s a bed hog! We only have a queen, and it’s an all-too-familliar scene to wake up with baby feet jammed into my ribs or to find him sleeping spread-eagle in the ‘H’ position, with my husband smooshed against the wall, and me about to fall out.
So, without further ado, here is our shiny plan for transitioning him to his very own big boy bed.
Step 1: Move his twin mattress from his room (where he has never used it) to the floor of our room.
Step 2: Put him to bed in the big bed like usual, and I begin sleeping on the mattress on the ground.
Step 3: “Let” him come down and climb into the little bed with me when he wakes at night. Soon he will start to think of the little bed as our new bed.
Step 4: Put him to bed in the little bed on the floor at bedtime.
Step 5: Start going to sleep in the big bed, joining Ben in the little bed during the night if needed.
Step 6: Move the little bed to Ben’s own room across the hall. Leave both doors open.
Step 7: Let him know that he is welcome to join us in the big bed if he wakes up at night and needs us, but he is expected to go to sleep in his own bed in his own room.
Because I don’t want to push him too hard, we have no particular timeline for our plan. I’d rather spend more time co-sleeping than be up all night dealing with a crying toddler who doesn’t want to sleep without me. All kids grow out of babyhood eventually, right?
Sidebar:
Co-sleeping isn’t for everyone
There are a number of safety concerns raised when parents choose to co-sleep. I believe with all my heart in co-sleeping’s benefits. But there are some people who should not co-sleep with their babies. Some of the benefits of co-sleeping can also be achieved with a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of the bed, or with a traditional bassinet.
I encourage new parents to do their own research before making a final decision.
Co-sleeping is not safe for your baby if you or your partner:
• Smoke
• Go to bed under the influence of alcohol, sleep-aids or other drugs, legal or illegal.
• Are obese.
• Sleep with big fluffy comforters or giant pillows on the bed
• Lack the innate sense-of-surroundings that your body maintains when you sleep.
Many new parents confide to me that they are interested in co-sleeping, but are worried they may smother the baby. When I hear this concern, I reassure them that very few people sleep so soundly that they are unaware of a baby in the bed. The same mechanism that keeps you from falling out of bed at night will also keep you from rolling over onto your baby.
Some experts claim that fathers are less likely to be aware of a baby in the bed than mothers, and therefore the baby should be placed between the mother and the wall or a bed rail. I’d take this recommendation on a case-by-case basis. Before we became parents, I never would have believed it was possible, but I’ve seen my husband sleep flat on his back without moving a muscle while our new son lay prone on his chest. Those are the moments that stay with you forever.
When we first made the decision to co-sleep with our newborn son, we did a lot of research on its benefits. Co-sleeping makes nighttime breastfeeding easier, helps facilitate bonding and has even helped us to prevent SIDS, as my husband actually woke up one night when 2-month-old Benjamin had a stop-breathing episode.
I don’t know how I would have made it through those early months if I’d had to schlep down the hall, sit in a chair to nurse the baby, rock him back to sleep and then carefully set him back in a crib. If he woke, I’d be forced to start the whole process over again.
Opinions on our decision differed greatly, but one thing’s for sure, everyone had something to say about it. The most popular comment was, “You’ll never get that baby out of your bed!”
My classic response was “We believe co-sleeping is like breastfeeding. To withhold something from a newborn just because you don’t want to do it with your older child is ridiculous. We enjoy sleeping with our baby. When it gets to the point where it isn’t working anymore, we’ll move him to his own big boy bed.”
Well, here we are with an 18-month-old, and we’re still co-sleeping and still nursing. The nursing is by choice and I plan to give him about another year to wean on his own before I start nudging him in that general direction, but the co-sleeping is getting harder.
I still love snuggling with my munchkin during the night, and I know he gets a lot out of that closeness with me as well, since he misses me while I’m at work. Problem is, the dude’s a bed hog! We only have a queen, and it’s an all-too-familliar scene to wake up with baby feet jammed into my ribs or to find him sleeping spread-eagle in the ‘H’ position, with my husband smooshed against the wall, and me about to fall out.
So, without further ado, here is our shiny plan for transitioning him to his very own big boy bed.
Step 1: Move his twin mattress from his room (where he has never used it) to the floor of our room.
Step 2: Put him to bed in the big bed like usual, and I begin sleeping on the mattress on the ground.
Step 3: “Let” him come down and climb into the little bed with me when he wakes at night. Soon he will start to think of the little bed as our new bed.
Step 4: Put him to bed in the little bed on the floor at bedtime.
Step 5: Start going to sleep in the big bed, joining Ben in the little bed during the night if needed.
Step 6: Move the little bed to Ben’s own room across the hall. Leave both doors open.
Step 7: Let him know that he is welcome to join us in the big bed if he wakes up at night and needs us, but he is expected to go to sleep in his own bed in his own room.
Because I don’t want to push him too hard, we have no particular timeline for our plan. I’d rather spend more time co-sleeping than be up all night dealing with a crying toddler who doesn’t want to sleep without me. All kids grow out of babyhood eventually, right?
Sidebar:
Co-sleeping isn’t for everyone
There are a number of safety concerns raised when parents choose to co-sleep. I believe with all my heart in co-sleeping’s benefits. But there are some people who should not co-sleep with their babies. Some of the benefits of co-sleeping can also be achieved with a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of the bed, or with a traditional bassinet.
I encourage new parents to do their own research before making a final decision.
Co-sleeping is not safe for your baby if you or your partner:
• Smoke
• Go to bed under the influence of alcohol, sleep-aids or other drugs, legal or illegal.
• Are obese.
• Sleep with big fluffy comforters or giant pillows on the bed
• Lack the innate sense-of-surroundings that your body maintains when you sleep.
Many new parents confide to me that they are interested in co-sleeping, but are worried they may smother the baby. When I hear this concern, I reassure them that very few people sleep so soundly that they are unaware of a baby in the bed. The same mechanism that keeps you from falling out of bed at night will also keep you from rolling over onto your baby.
Some experts claim that fathers are less likely to be aware of a baby in the bed than mothers, and therefore the baby should be placed between the mother and the wall or a bed rail. I’d take this recommendation on a case-by-case basis. Before we became parents, I never would have believed it was possible, but I’ve seen my husband sleep flat on his back without moving a muscle while our new son lay prone on his chest. Those are the moments that stay with you forever.