closed } { come crashin' down, down, down on me
Characters: Sam Winchester and Castiel [CLOSED]
Location: Sam's apartment ~ D-6
Planet: Coruscant
When: Tonight - Saturday, December 3rd.
What: Sam needs to chat with Castiel about his future.
Rating: PG-13
It wasn't that Sam wasn't enjoying his time on Coruscant. It was the fact that he was.
He had friends -- friends he didn't have to lie to. He was with his brother -- a brother who didn't have the weight of Hell, or the Apocalypse sitting on his shoulders. Dean had Jo, and he had his ship, and friends, and it was everything that Sam had ever wanted for him. All he had ever wanted was for Dean to be happy, and not feel like he had to depend on Sam at every turn. While there were moments, brief ones, where that old codependency surfaced again, they passed almost as soon as they happened. They could have a life here -- they could be a family and they didn't have to worry about hunting or people coming between them.
But Sam still had his apartment. Sam still saw Ruby and kept secrets. Sam could feel himself sliding back into old habits, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to stop himself. He hadn't questioned his continued association with Ruby up until now, but the whole mess with Angel, plus his father's arrival had stirred up all the old doubts. Knowing his father's last words to Dean, and seeing that look that he exchanged with his brother only brought up all that old anger and resentment, all the uncertainty that came with what he had done. All it did, was serve as a reminder of how weak he really was.
A stronger man would have stayed away from Ruby. A stronger man would have avoided the temptation, wouldn't be sitting through feeling the pulse of her blood through her skin every time they're together and wanting just a taste. A stronger man wouldn't have been in that situation in the first place.
At the same time, however, Nar Shaddaa had felt good -- working with someone who wasn't Dean, who didn't treat him like his screw-up kid brother who he had to order around. It was nice to be treated like he was capable again, and working with Ruby was like slipping on a glove. They had gotten very, very good at that, and part of him wondered if it was okay to have those needs, the need to be treated like someone who knew what they were doing, and still be redeemed.
He needed to know how the story ended, whether he liked it or not, and as of now, there was only one person who could tell him that. He leaned back against the wall of his room as he sat on the bed, wondering for a long time where to even start, but in the end, the words just came, without him putting very much thought into it.
"Cas -- if you have a minute, there's something ... I just wanted to talk. I had some questions for you."
He was a little rusty with his prayer, but he hoped that that would do the trick.
Location: Sam's apartment ~ D-6
Planet: Coruscant
When: Tonight - Saturday, December 3rd.
What: Sam needs to chat with Castiel about his future.
Rating: PG-13
It wasn't that Sam wasn't enjoying his time on Coruscant. It was the fact that he was.
He had friends -- friends he didn't have to lie to. He was with his brother -- a brother who didn't have the weight of Hell, or the Apocalypse sitting on his shoulders. Dean had Jo, and he had his ship, and friends, and it was everything that Sam had ever wanted for him. All he had ever wanted was for Dean to be happy, and not feel like he had to depend on Sam at every turn. While there were moments, brief ones, where that old codependency surfaced again, they passed almost as soon as they happened. They could have a life here -- they could be a family and they didn't have to worry about hunting or people coming between them.
But Sam still had his apartment. Sam still saw Ruby and kept secrets. Sam could feel himself sliding back into old habits, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to stop himself. He hadn't questioned his continued association with Ruby up until now, but the whole mess with Angel, plus his father's arrival had stirred up all the old doubts. Knowing his father's last words to Dean, and seeing that look that he exchanged with his brother only brought up all that old anger and resentment, all the uncertainty that came with what he had done. All it did, was serve as a reminder of how weak he really was.
A stronger man would have stayed away from Ruby. A stronger man would have avoided the temptation, wouldn't be sitting through feeling the pulse of her blood through her skin every time they're together and wanting just a taste. A stronger man wouldn't have been in that situation in the first place.
At the same time, however, Nar Shaddaa had felt good -- working with someone who wasn't Dean, who didn't treat him like his screw-up kid brother who he had to order around. It was nice to be treated like he was capable again, and working with Ruby was like slipping on a glove. They had gotten very, very good at that, and part of him wondered if it was okay to have those needs, the need to be treated like someone who knew what they were doing, and still be redeemed.
He needed to know how the story ended, whether he liked it or not, and as of now, there was only one person who could tell him that. He leaned back against the wall of his room as he sat on the bed, wondering for a long time where to even start, but in the end, the words just came, without him putting very much thought into it.
"Cas -- if you have a minute, there's something ... I just wanted to talk. I had some questions for you."
He was a little rusty with his prayer, but he hoped that that would do the trick.