closed ] it gets worst at night

[reprobaverum]

Characters: Jason McConnell, Lindsey McDonald
Location: Lindsey's apartment
Planet: Coruscant
When: Tonight, the middle of the night
What: Jason visits who he sees as his only friend on the planet right now.
Rating: Pretty sure it could just be PG-13.

Comments

[prodigaled]

Lindsey had been up doing some paperwork for the Senator so he hadn't retired yet. However, he was dressed pretty casually and had a bottle of Corellian whiskey open.

Surprised to hear the door knock at the late hour, he immediately assumed that it was Lilah. Who else visited him at home? And there was no way Darla would come a-knocking. Buffy would just kick the door down again. Petrelli would call first.

He pressed the door panel to release the lock, leaning on the doorframe.

"I'm flattered, but I've got a milli--" He shut up when he realized it wasn't Lilah but Jason who'd come to his door. Who also looked like he was about to leave again.

"...Howdy."

[reprobaverum]

He heard the door slide open and knew he couldn't make his escape. He'd missed his chance. Turning back around, he took the cue that was obviously meant for someone else he expected to show up.

"A million things to do," he said, finishing his sentence. "Not surprised. I mean, you're working for a senator. When isn't there something to, to do?" he asked, attempting a smile. "I should go..." he added, pointing behind him.

Lindsey was obviously busy or expecting somebody else and Jason was fine. At least, he would be fine. He was on his way to being fine. Coming here was a mistake and it was weak and his dad would not have approved. Not that his dad would've approved of his being a boy who likes boys.

[prodigaled]

He's tempted to let Jason take off again. It's kinda obvious he's in a funk about something, and Lindsey doesn't do the friendly confidant thing well. Especially not for real. If it had been back home, he would have just nodded, said adios and shut the door without a second thought.

But instead he finds himself shaking his head instead.

"No, come on in. It's just some reports that I need to file tomorrow. It can wait. You wanna drink? You look like you could use one."

[reprobaverum]

He hesitated only slightly before acquiescing. Maybe, if he just stepped in for a second. A drink would do him good. But, God, what he wanted more than anything was some weed. It would have really mellowed him out. Instead, without what he really wanted, he nodded.

"Sounds important," he said, stepping inside Lindsey's apartment. "And yeah, sure. Whatever you're having," he said, giving the living room a once over as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

[prodigaled]

Lindsey waved his hand dismissively.

"A lot of it's boring. Fact checking. Statistics. Polls."

Moving to pour Jason a drink, he glanced back over shoulder at him.

"So are you gonna tell me what's bugging you, or do I have to pry it out of you with insane amounts of liquor."

[reprobaverum]

"Who knew space was a democracy," he half joked.

Jason played dumb, usually great at it but because of the late hour and the state of vulnerability, it probably came out as guilty and untruthful.

"Nothing's bugging me," he replied, taking the drink from Lindsey. "I went for a walk. Is anything bugging you?" he asked, turning it back around on the former lawyer. Poorly at that.

[prodigaled]

"There's always bureaucracy, even in space."

Lindsey chuckled and turned to hand Jason his drink, then refilled his own and took a deep swallow of it.

"No, actually things are pretty good. And you're really bad at lying, Jason. I'm a lawyer remember? I'm a pro at saying one thing and meaning the complete opposite. You came to me for a reason. So spill." He indicated that he take a seat.

[reprobaverum]

Jason was caught off guard but at the same time, he had expected a response like that. Moving over to the nearby couch, he sat down, sliding back, looking down into his glass. He took a sip, wincing.

What was this?

"To be honest, I don't know why I'm here," he said. He knew what was bothering him, who he missed and that he found Lindsey attractive albeit slightly shady but he also knew this wasn't about Lindsey's twang or how attractive he found the guy. There was no vibe, no moment, no real flirtation so why then was he here?

[prodigaled]

Sitting down in a nearby sofa chair, Lindsey stared at him for a while, "Okay..." At least that rang more true. He drank some more whiskey. "So, how's the apartment hunting going?"

[reprobaverum]

"I need a better job if I want to move out on my own and I didn't really get any roommate responses the first time," he answered. "Not that I was expecting them. I am a complete stranger to most. I just have to meet more people," he added, taking a sip of whiskey. It burned down his throat.

"I don't know you so I'm not going to presume anything. But, for me, waking up in a bed without someone else has been -- well, it's different then back home." Because back home he had Peter. "Being thrust into another universe puts a damper on your relationship. Actually, it ends it," he said, downing the rest of his whiskey.

[prodigaled]

"Someone should organize an Outworlder mixer." It was an offhand remark, but now that he thought about it, maybe it wasn't such a dumb idea. It'd give the Senator plenty of schmooze time. Maybe if it was a charity event. He'd look into it.

Then Jason's next comment hit home and despite himself, he found himself nodding. Remembering what it was like to have Darla lying next to him. Coming home and finding all of her things gone.

"It's natural you're gonna miss the people you left behind. But life's all about change. Nothing stays forever. Sure, you lost this other person, but that doesn't mean you can't find something or someone here to fill that void, or scratch that itch, or whatever."

[reprobaverum]

"Sounds high school," he replies, not exactly dissing the idea but reminding himself that a few months ago he had been in high school. But, if Lindsey organized it there was no way he wouldn't at least show up.

He almost laughs at that, shaking his head. "They were really the only person who...scratched that particular itch, you know? I didn't really look at other..." He stopped, sipping his whiskey. "People." He really hoped he was being alcohol. Thanks to the alcohol, he probably wasn't. "And - isn't that a bleak outlook? Nothing stays forever?"

[prodigaled]

"Okay, call it a gala then. Better?" He smirked, tossing back the rest of his drink, then got up to pour himself a drink. "My outlook may be bleak, but it's still the truth. Nothing's permanent. You gotta enjoy what you can, while you can."

He raised his eyebrow at Jason. "So, I'm guessing he was your first?" The gender was an assumption but Lindsey's pretty sure he's got the 4-11 on this one.

[reprobaverum]

"Classier and something my parents might actually donate money to." White collar. Rich. Something he wasn't the most proud of. But, if there was one thing he missed, it was money being no object. Here, money was every object. It was credits. "Life is short." He tried it on for size. "Still bleak."

He sucked in a breath. He had only admitted this to a former priest who had basically said people here wouldn't give two shits that he was gay. And this was probably true but he had lived his life one way for so long it was hard to break out.

"We -" His sex life was not Lindsey's business. "He was my only." He swirled the contents of his glass again. "Started early in high school. Went through four years. Ups. Downs. Closets. We were actually broken up before I made a non-refundable one way trip to Coruscant," he said, setting the glass down. He was done with whiskey. "You don't care, do you? That it was a guy? People here just...don't care?"

[prodigaled]

"I'll look into it, maybe we can get some of the local businesses to support a shindig."

Eventually taking a seat again, full glass in hand, Lindsey gave a shrug. "Can't speak for the other people here, but hell I don't care if you're into tentacles, little old ladies or Wookiees. Those are the giant hairy guys, right? We've got aliens that look more like insects, reptiles, even slugs for Christ's sake. You think they all keep to their species? I don't think same gender sex is that big a deal here."

[reprobaverum]

"And maybe through this I can get a better paying job at one of those local businesses," he said, joining in the idea train.

"I...um. Chewie was a wookie but do you mean giant hairy gay guys?" he asked. "I mean, I wasn't -- I don't know gay jargon. Or culture. I'm not really that interested but yeah, you make a good point. And aliens don't really do it for me." He nodded, looking up. "How do you view sexuality?"

Because he had been with Ivy. And while he had -- been satisfied and clearly had no problems in the Viagra helps department, it never felt right. Or, safe. Or, good. It just felt like ... a substitute. Was sexuality fluid. Was he penis man all his life? Or, just Peter penis because that sounded like a long, lonely right-handed life and there was probably carpal tunnel in space. Yes, he missed a body next to him at night. But he missed a body next to him at night.