Sod's Law and Spending Guilt
It's not been a particularly good day. Hell, it's not been a particularly good week.
This morning, my alarm did not go off. I don't know why - it just didn't. Which meant that I woke up around the point I was supposed to be at work, swearing a lot. What followed was one of those comedies of errors you just never want to see - ATM at Tally Ho Corner was borked so I had to hike quite some distance to get cash to renew my travelcard, then there were no buses, then I had to wait ten minutes for the next Tube out of Bounds Green, then I got stuck just outside Seven Sisters for 20 minutes or so, and then finally got to Walthamstow Central and again, no buses. I wasn't sure whether to be glad I made it into the office alive or sorry I didn't stay in bed.
[Edit: Someone's pinched two sets of notes for a clinic that only finished fifteen minutes ago, which I'm going to need to type the damn clinic letters once I get through with the mass wodge of stuff from the 16th. Also, some people's printers are down and on the whole, it's a little nightmarish. I wish I'd stayed in bed. Still, couldn't really afford to stay home from the point of view of either pay or built-up workload, so...]
As it is, I got in really late and am now working through lunch, though since my line manager generally insists that people take at least a half-hour for lunch just to have a break, I'm going to take a ten-minute smoke break shortly just to get away from the computer screen. Really it's just wanting to get this stuff done rather than the cash angle - and frankly, I have no intention of working past half-four. That's when I can actually deal with the commuter horde level, and therefore that is when I will leave the office. I can quite happily sacrifice my lunchtime and eat a sandwich at my desk to get out and to somewhere civilised before the crowds on the Piccadilly Line and the 221 get crushingly bad.
There's weekend plans to consider now. I was thinking to pick up DDR but now I'm wondering whether I really want to shell out the cash for that right now. It's not much, but I just feel bad about blowing the money on something that's not strictly speaking necessary. I did say just yesterday that I deserved a treat, godsdamnit, but ... well, there is Spending Guilt. I hate Spending Guilt. I know the sensible thing is to put the vast majority of the extraneous into my savings account and not touch it except in an emergency or for Christmas shopping, but ... I'd like some kind of treat, you know? Sure, I got Sims 2 Apartment Life the other week, but ... argh. I was mainly looking at Dance Dance Revolution because I'd like to get some exercise in a reasonably fun manner that involves as few people as humanly possible watching (and potentially laughing at) me do it. At least it's partway practical. But all the same, I sort of end up second-guessing any purchase of over ten quid that's not strictly speaking necessary. And sometimes even stuff that's less than ten quid, because it all adds up.
There is a difference, or there should be, between being frugal and being miserly. I'm just having a hard time with where the line is at the moment. Which is a little depressing, but never mind. Either way, I think what I'm going to do is get out of here in just over two hours, check out GAME over at the shopping centre by Walthamstow Central, see if they've got what I'm looking for and if they don't, I have another night to think about it. Thing is, I need something to cheer me up, so I should really stop overthinking the idea of spending money at all. I mean, it's not like I haven't budgeted for the grocery shopping and my contribution to the household expenses, or like I haven't already bought my travelcard for the week. There's a fair bit of discretionary cash that's mine free and clear, and I shouldn't feel too bad about using some of it for a little bit of selfish pleasure.
...Right?
This morning, my alarm did not go off. I don't know why - it just didn't. Which meant that I woke up around the point I was supposed to be at work, swearing a lot. What followed was one of those comedies of errors you just never want to see - ATM at Tally Ho Corner was borked so I had to hike quite some distance to get cash to renew my travelcard, then there were no buses, then I had to wait ten minutes for the next Tube out of Bounds Green, then I got stuck just outside Seven Sisters for 20 minutes or so, and then finally got to Walthamstow Central and again, no buses. I wasn't sure whether to be glad I made it into the office alive or sorry I didn't stay in bed.
[Edit: Someone's pinched two sets of notes for a clinic that only finished fifteen minutes ago, which I'm going to need to type the damn clinic letters once I get through with the mass wodge of stuff from the 16th. Also, some people's printers are down and on the whole, it's a little nightmarish. I wish I'd stayed in bed. Still, couldn't really afford to stay home from the point of view of either pay or built-up workload, so...]
As it is, I got in really late and am now working through lunch, though since my line manager generally insists that people take at least a half-hour for lunch just to have a break, I'm going to take a ten-minute smoke break shortly just to get away from the computer screen. Really it's just wanting to get this stuff done rather than the cash angle - and frankly, I have no intention of working past half-four. That's when I can actually deal with the commuter horde level, and therefore that is when I will leave the office. I can quite happily sacrifice my lunchtime and eat a sandwich at my desk to get out and to somewhere civilised before the crowds on the Piccadilly Line and the 221 get crushingly bad.
There's weekend plans to consider now. I was thinking to pick up DDR but now I'm wondering whether I really want to shell out the cash for that right now. It's not much, but I just feel bad about blowing the money on something that's not strictly speaking necessary. I did say just yesterday that I deserved a treat, godsdamnit, but ... well, there is Spending Guilt. I hate Spending Guilt. I know the sensible thing is to put the vast majority of the extraneous into my savings account and not touch it except in an emergency or for Christmas shopping, but ... I'd like some kind of treat, you know? Sure, I got Sims 2 Apartment Life the other week, but ... argh. I was mainly looking at Dance Dance Revolution because I'd like to get some exercise in a reasonably fun manner that involves as few people as humanly possible watching (and potentially laughing at) me do it. At least it's partway practical. But all the same, I sort of end up second-guessing any purchase of over ten quid that's not strictly speaking necessary. And sometimes even stuff that's less than ten quid, because it all adds up.
There is a difference, or there should be, between being frugal and being miserly. I'm just having a hard time with where the line is at the moment. Which is a little depressing, but never mind. Either way, I think what I'm going to do is get out of here in just over two hours, check out GAME over at the shopping centre by Walthamstow Central, see if they've got what I'm looking for and if they don't, I have another night to think about it. Thing is, I need something to cheer me up, so I should really stop overthinking the idea of spending money at all. I mean, it's not like I haven't budgeted for the grocery shopping and my contribution to the household expenses, or like I haven't already bought my travelcard for the week. There's a fair bit of discretionary cash that's mine free and clear, and I shouldn't feel too bad about using some of it for a little bit of selfish pleasure.
...Right?