the fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress
Characters: Anthy, Penny, Shinji
Content: After the fight with Kensei, Shinji makes his way back to the ship alone, to the infirmary where Anthy is
Setting: 4423 Infirmary
Time: During Long Night
Warnings: Mention of blood, angst
( until I wrap myself inside your arms I cannot rest )
Content: After the fight with Kensei, Shinji makes his way back to the ship alone, to the infirmary where Anthy is
Setting: 4423 Infirmary
Time: During Long Night
Warnings: Mention of blood, angst
( until I wrap myself inside your arms I cannot rest )
The air was cold.
Or, maybe, it wasn't the air that was cold, but every extremity, every breath-- every thought. Positivity and cynicism battled viciously, flickering from determination to acceptance of the dawning death Shinji was going to face if he didn't reach the 4423 within the hour, as his body reminded him. Slowly, but surely, he could feel that warm wetness drip down his arm to his elbow, curving around and creeping down his forearm. His vision had doubled, shifting back and forth between clear and blurry.
And his heart felt heavy in his chest, as though it weighed significantly more than that morning, before he woke up and knew today would be unlike any other day that week. It felt wrong. Once in a while, he had to stop to make sure it was still beating, transferring what blood hadn't seeped out of his cut to the rest of his aching body. He felt like a malfunctioning machine with slashed wires, every drop of electricity fading until eventually, it could function no longer ( ... )
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Extreme exhaustion was creeping up on Shinji the moment his foot touched the deck of the 4423. It felt surreal, somehow. As though he wasn't meant to come back, and now that he'd finally arrived, his head began to swim horribly. This felt like a dream. Some nightmare he couldn't shake himself from. But he knew it wasn't. Every little bit of this was real, and if he pinched himself, the only thing he'd feel was pain-- if that could even top the dull ache of his wrist. It hung loosely at his side, pressed against his hip so that any further movement wouldn't jostle it. He'd tried holding it on the way back, but found it hurt even more that way, having something restrain it like that ( ... )
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"An--"
It was all Shinji could manage to bite out before he stumbled a step with lack of balance, not onto her, but in her direction. He hadn't even been sure he'd seen her at all with how blurry his vision had become, but now that she was so close and so real and okay, all his fears faded away with her touch. Her questions hadn't even processed yet. Everything else, however, hit him like a solid brick to the face.
He wanted to touch her, but couldn't. Not with the blood on one hand, and broken wrist. All he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms, but the pain was so disorienting that all he could do was be near her. Feel her body heat and listen to her trembling voice and feel so fucking guilty that he couldn't wipe her tears away-- and even more guilty that he just wanted her to stop because he wasn't good at this, not at being comforting, especially not when his knees were going to give out any second. Not even being able to graze her skin left him feeling so empty, despite her being right in front of him. As though the only ( ... )
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"Stay on your feet," she told him. "We’ll find Kensei." It wasn’t until after the words came out that she realized what he might mean, but she couldn’t process anything else at that time. Again she looked at him, and only then did she remember that she had magic. The revelation was briefly triumphant until she realized she was so shaken she had no idea whether or not she could use it. But she needed to do something and it didn’t matter if she wrecked the shirt so she grabbed a hold of the front and closed her eyes, willing it away with her all might. It was a barrier between her and taking care of him so it was with angry force that she banished it, not trying to move it anyplace, just making it goneWhen she opened her eyes again it was gone, and now she could see him better, no torso wound, some of that shirt blood ( ... )
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He honestly didn't know if he could. His legs were already difficult to move, and there was no source to reassure him his body just wouldn't suddenly give out, but at least Anthy was there, providing support in the event that he did fall. With his shirt gone -- how that'd even happened, he wasn't sure -- Shinji shivered, cold to begin with.
The movement was very jostling, and every step had something like a hammer slamming into his skull. Was this really happening? Being here at all was so surreal that he had a difficult time being able to tell whether he was hallucinating or not. All of the lights, the familiar tile, the beds, Anthy-- he'd barely been gone from the ship for hours, and now they felt foreign and strange after being out in the field.
Finally, the boy was able to muster up some strength to speak. "... wait a... just. Floor..." It wasn't much, and it might not have even made sense to her, but he was beyond exhausted that even the floor was a welcome alternative to standing or walking any further.
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She tried to keep the pressure on the wound the best she could, while moving around to get under his left arm and wrap her arm around him tightly for support. Without her heels on she felt small, the alignment of their bodies was different. His was thin so she might have a chance to at least make it to the bed.
"Lean on me," she said. "It’s just a few steps."
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Despite himself, Shinji had to laugh.
It was the sort of laugh a man gave when he was at his wit's end, and all that was left was cynicism in the void that hope left behind. It sounded weak. Breathless. And absolutely defeated, as hard as it was to admit. It's just a few steps. She made it sound so easy. And yet, it was enough to push him those few steps forward like she'd encouraged.
"Anthy..."
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"You made it this far."
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The mattress was only one or two steps away, but it felt like forty once they finally reached it. With a considerable amount of restraint, he tried not to throw himself onto the bed without care, because as tempting as that really, truly was, he was injured, and didn't want to risk making it worse.
Rather that letting the smaller girl do the work, Shinji propped a knee up onto the cot and sank his weight into it, willing to be placed in whatever position Anthy wanted. He felt significantly more faint upon reaching it, strangely enough, and he was grateful for the hold she had on him, or else he might've done an immediate faceplant into the sheets.
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Only once she had him on the bed did she allow herself to slide her hand out from underneath him to tangle in his hair while she kissed him fiercely on the forehead, pressing herself close to him to reassure herself that he was actually there. She tried to respect how injured his body was and remain careful with her contact.
She kept an ear open for one of the doctors, ready to move away when they came. The ordeal felt like it had taken forever, but in reality she knew it must have only been a minute or two. Penny had been there a moment ago, but now that she thought more clearly she remembered doctors were very busy on Long Night so maybe she had been called away and Mamma would pop out.
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Done with the latest round of typical Long Night injuries, Penelo returned to the infirmary to check on Anthy; she didn't expect to see her lying next to an obviously injured Shinji, however.
Calling for one of the cabin boys to get her mundane supplies, she hurried over to the bed. "What on Reial happened here?"
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The blond writhed slightly against the mattress as his wrist continued to throb, most of his arm already numb from the pain. He was honestly glad to see Penelo, though it was difficult to show it.
"Accident," he whispered, keeping the details vague in light of the events. Keeping it private was the only way to keep him and Kensei -- and Hiyori, for that matter -- safe.
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But he had called for Kensei on the journals. If he had attacked her, he must have known that he would attack Kensei as well. She had never seen Kensei use strong magic, but that night she had seen him disappear after Shinji in that same blink of the eye disappearance. And he had broken down the door. So it seemed there was a lot she didn't know about Kensei either, and she now wondered what he had been trying to tell her when he said Kensei's name. Was it that he had injured Kensei and he needed retrieval, or was it that she should avoid Kensei because he was like Shinji, and he too had gone out of control ( ... )
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