Hump Day
I'm not sure what's causing my insomnia this time. Perhaps depression, which is exacerbated by realizing it's the end of summer, and I HATE the end of summer. I'm fine once fall is actually here, but that in-between time makes me feel really melancholy. Anyway, this morning I simply gave up and got up not long after Trevor left for work. I'm exhausted, but at the same time my brain and body are quite alert. Two cups of coffee have left me jittery, and my eyes burn.
My weight loss seems to be progressing well this month. I'm not using the scale because it always discourages me and causes me to give up. I'm using how my clothing is fitting. I feel better internally, some of my pants are a lot looser and eventually start riding down my hips over the course of the day, and my silhouette has improved. I'm a lot less bloated because I'm eating far fewer grains. I can feel the peaks of my ribcage. I'm getting in fruits and veggies EVERY single day.
Mike's annual summer bbq was on Saturday evening. My confidence is improving, so I decided I'd dress to impress. I wore my red and white jersey dress, which ties in the back and has a very retro look to it; my cutoff leggings underneath acted as a very nice body shaper! I did a classic pin-up girl makeup look complete with red lipstick, red nails, and I rolled my bangs and did up my hair with a big hair flower. I found myself moving through the crowd very easily, relaxed and outgoing. I even made a new friend who was attending the party for the first time, and we shared our life-long weight loss woes with each other. She told me that I have an amazing figure.
I even have a Facebook page devoted to my weight loss journey. Here it is!
That above paragraph also tells me how far I've come with my anxiety disorder. I mean, it can still be VERY bad and I'm prone to anxiety/panic attacks at the drop of a hat, but being a social butterfly without having to drink alcohol to achieve that? That's an amazing feat for me.
And yet I still fear travelling alone to my GP. I start thinking about it two weeks in advance and start feeling that familiar dread. It's not really that I fear the doctor, it's just doing something on my own. Sometimes I feel an amazing sense of liberty when I can do something or go somewhere by myself, and I wish that was an all-the-time thing.
I plan on one day soon going to visit Trevor at work, or going to the Eaton Centre, both of which involve the TTC. I've never been on a TTC bus or subway alone before, but unlike this time last year, I'm currently thinking about it and am excited instead of scared shitless.
Oh! Back on the subject of weight loss, I've set up a monthly reward system to give myself motivation to do well to earn a goodie or two. I didn't expect to receive this month's reward until the end of next week, but they arrived on Monday:
I originally found these books on ModCloth, but got them for cheaper (and with free shipping and no duty charges) from The Book Depository. :D
Trevor received his month report on Monday and found that he's done perfectly in his new job. The manager even penned in that Trev is a perfect fit for Pusateri's! He switched his Thursday shift with someone else's next-Saturday shift, and he has Friday and the weekend off for all his media coverage at FanExpo. I'm so proud of him of getting involved with this fledging crew and getting ready to interview the big-shots under camera and mic!
On Friday, Kent and Nicole are picking me up early and we'll be heading down to the CNE. We'll be meeting everyone else at Union Station at 11am so we can travel together on the streetcar. Despite the $16 admission plus a more for rides (I have GOT to ride a ferris wheel as I've never been on one in my life!), I'm super excited.
Saturday evening is Nicole's birthday/going-away party (she's headed to Laurier next month), and Sunday is when I'm going to FanExpo. Yeeee!
And next week I get to work a couple days at the Heintzman House and make close to 100 bucks.
The apples on our backyard trees are bright red. Some trees are warning that they're going to change colour soon. The nights are much cooler, and the days aren't hazy and sopping anymore. *Sighs* I'll miss you, summertime!
My weight loss seems to be progressing well this month. I'm not using the scale because it always discourages me and causes me to give up. I'm using how my clothing is fitting. I feel better internally, some of my pants are a lot looser and eventually start riding down my hips over the course of the day, and my silhouette has improved. I'm a lot less bloated because I'm eating far fewer grains. I can feel the peaks of my ribcage. I'm getting in fruits and veggies EVERY single day.
Mike's annual summer bbq was on Saturday evening. My confidence is improving, so I decided I'd dress to impress. I wore my red and white jersey dress, which ties in the back and has a very retro look to it; my cutoff leggings underneath acted as a very nice body shaper! I did a classic pin-up girl makeup look complete with red lipstick, red nails, and I rolled my bangs and did up my hair with a big hair flower. I found myself moving through the crowd very easily, relaxed and outgoing. I even made a new friend who was attending the party for the first time, and we shared our life-long weight loss woes with each other. She told me that I have an amazing figure.
I even have a Facebook page devoted to my weight loss journey. Here it is!
That above paragraph also tells me how far I've come with my anxiety disorder. I mean, it can still be VERY bad and I'm prone to anxiety/panic attacks at the drop of a hat, but being a social butterfly without having to drink alcohol to achieve that? That's an amazing feat for me.
And yet I still fear travelling alone to my GP. I start thinking about it two weeks in advance and start feeling that familiar dread. It's not really that I fear the doctor, it's just doing something on my own. Sometimes I feel an amazing sense of liberty when I can do something or go somewhere by myself, and I wish that was an all-the-time thing.
I plan on one day soon going to visit Trevor at work, or going to the Eaton Centre, both of which involve the TTC. I've never been on a TTC bus or subway alone before, but unlike this time last year, I'm currently thinking about it and am excited instead of scared shitless.
Oh! Back on the subject of weight loss, I've set up a monthly reward system to give myself motivation to do well to earn a goodie or two. I didn't expect to receive this month's reward until the end of next week, but they arrived on Monday:
I originally found these books on ModCloth, but got them for cheaper (and with free shipping and no duty charges) from The Book Depository. :D
Trevor received his month report on Monday and found that he's done perfectly in his new job. The manager even penned in that Trev is a perfect fit for Pusateri's! He switched his Thursday shift with someone else's next-Saturday shift, and he has Friday and the weekend off for all his media coverage at FanExpo. I'm so proud of him of getting involved with this fledging crew and getting ready to interview the big-shots under camera and mic!
On Friday, Kent and Nicole are picking me up early and we'll be heading down to the CNE. We'll be meeting everyone else at Union Station at 11am so we can travel together on the streetcar. Despite the $16 admission plus a more for rides (I have GOT to ride a ferris wheel as I've never been on one in my life!), I'm super excited.
Saturday evening is Nicole's birthday/going-away party (she's headed to Laurier next month), and Sunday is when I'm going to FanExpo. Yeeee!
And next week I get to work a couple days at the Heintzman House and make close to 100 bucks.
The apples on our backyard trees are bright red. Some trees are warning that they're going to change colour soon. The nights are much cooler, and the days aren't hazy and sopping anymore. *Sighs* I'll miss you, summertime!